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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Support for Spook 2

502 replies

Janstar · 09/05/2004 17:14

Here it is.

OP posts:
Thomcat · 18/08/2004 12:42

Really not sure I can make it, will be SO upset to miss out on seeing you Spook nad meeting you Blu. (Met the wonderful Anorak and Kayleigh before). I'm meant to be going to Oxford to see D's family over from Scotland before they go back and we can't go at weekend so we decided to drive to Oxford and back Friday night.
If it doesn't happen I'll have to work out a way to get to Anorak's. think a cab would be too much. What's the nearest station anorak?

Kayleigh · 18/08/2004 12:45

I really am crap at the name change thing. Lucky I wasn't writing something very personal and wanted my new name kept a secret. How stupid would that be

anorak · 18/08/2004 12:50

oi jellybaby, shut it, right! Thomcat, unfortunately blu can't make it either. If you could get to Watford on the train a cab wouldn't be quite so expensive, or you could get the train to my village from Watford and someone can collect you from the station. I'll email you the directions and my phone number just in case you decide to come at the last minute.

Kayleigh the reason I haven't emailed directions yet is because I am still waiting for a couple of people to let me know if they are coming or not. When I have all the replies I'll send directions. If I don't get replies by tomorrow morning I'll assume they're on holiday and send the directions anyway.

Thomcat · 18/08/2004 12:55

that would be GREAT Anorak, thanks babes. I REALLY hope I can make it.

anorak · 18/08/2004 12:57

Now I have to go and assemble the bar! I haven't actually built it yet and Spook will be here in a couple of hours so I better get me screwdriver out

Blu · 18/08/2004 13:10

I hope you're going to be keeping us updated with MN diary of this visit? Ooooh, I'm so sorry to be missing it.
Perhaps we should swap houses, Spook, when you come to London - I'd LOVE to live where you do, it's one of my favourite parts of the country. Can't think why you want to come to expensive, grubby, bad-tempered London - except to meet up with us lot!

anorak · 18/08/2004 13:17

I'll have you know I am sweet-tempered, clean and very very cheap!

anorak · 18/08/2004 18:23

Spook is here, she's horrible, I wish I hadn't invited her now, I wonder if I can do something unspeakable to make her go home early

anorak · 18/08/2004 18:33

This is Spook, I can't post under my own name as I've forgotten my password..I am here and anorak is as lovely as I was hoping. She is upstairs polishing her halo as I type! Anyway-2 glasses of wine later we're off to the curry house. Hurray! Watch this space (oh and the pub-even bigger hurray!)

juniper68 · 18/08/2004 18:36

ROFLMAO at u two

Hope you have a great night. Think of me as I sit alone with no booze in the house. No, on second thoughts don't just have a ball.

deegward · 18/08/2004 19:05

Have a lovely night out, is St Albans ready for you two? I will will check when I go to the market on Saturday to see if there you arelying in a gutter somewhere

Kayleigh · 18/08/2004 19:11

Have a great night and try to sober up before tomorrow eve. Will be out shopping all day for cocktail umbrellas as scared to show up without them as anorak is one scary lady.

anorak, hope you have been practicing your non-alcoholic cocktails tomorrow. i'm drving
I like a nice virgin Mary. Is she coming ?

spook · 22/08/2004 15:40

Hi everyone. Have really tried to keep my posts on here to a minimum lately. I know we're 7 months on now and i should be working things out for myself and moving on. And ofcourse I've had the personal support of the wonderful anorak. But I am really fed up today and need to get it off my chest....could be a long one. Rant alert!!
While I was away in St Tropez my husband chopped and changed his plans for taking the boys away about 4 or 5 times. And more since I got back. I tried my utmost to accomodate this. He had various excuses-all work related ofcourse. Then - lo and behold-surprise surprise the record he released bombed. And suddenly he was available to take them away. He told me Weds-but was infact Thurs. I was going to Anoraks house so he had to get his bloody mother in. He told me he was bringing them back this Weds. So this morning-after chasing them to get a chat with the boys DH1 said-"we've only got one more day" I asked if I could talk to daddy-this would mean they were in fact coming home Tues (which yet again fucks up my plans) He handed the phone to ex and I heard him say TO MY SON!!!! "No I'm having a nice day. I don't want to talk to her..."
I was angry,upset and confused. Just when exactly was he going to tell me he was coming home a day early. I actually don't think it would even occur to him. He thinks absolutely nothing of my life and the fact that I actually have one. And to say that to a 7 year old when I have NEVER EVER said anything detrimental about him to the boys. For the very reason that it screws up thier little heads. I left him 2 messages saying if he didn't call me about this he was going to really screw up his access to the kids and he hasn't returned my calls. He fucks me about again and again on access-tomorrow I am going to my solicitors to sign the divorce papers and I am going to change the childrens arrangements from informal to court agreed formal access. He will get what??? Once a fortnight? He has forced my hand on this with his fucking self righteous self pitying patronising nasty attitude. I am not some inconvenience that will go away. i am the mother and primary carer of his children.
AND- just a little moan but something quite important to me!!!! Stay with me girls. I have managed to go 5 years without my little one drinking coke and my 7 year old has had it once. I feel very strongly about it. My eldest was a real handful and I felt the last thing he needed was a caffeine sugar rush. What was the first thing the boys squealed about when I spoke to them?? The fact that they are drinking 2 cokes a day. I know this seems petty but to me it's just another example of his total disregard for me. he knows exactly how I feel about it.
I am now going to take him to the fucking cleaners and restrict his access to his children. And this from the woman who only 2 weeks ago was begging him to come home. He made his bed.....

suzywong · 22/08/2004 15:43

it seems to me you are on exactly the right track with your last paragraph. Hold that thought.

spook · 22/08/2004 15:48

Thanks Suzywong. Have just read my post back and I sound like a horrible bitter bitch. I'm not really like that-honest..!

lou33 · 22/08/2004 15:50

You don't sound bitter, you just sound like you have decided enough is enough. Good luck.

deegward · 22/08/2004 16:52

Go for it spook, the sh* deserves everything that he get - or you get if it applies to money! You have been too nice all along.

spook · 22/08/2004 18:44

Thanks deegward.It would appear the gloves are well and truly off! Stupid stupid man.

anorak · 22/08/2004 21:30

Hello spook, just got back from Beety's. I'm so sorry to find he has done this, how hurtful and so so unnecessary. I just can't understand why he needs to add insult to injury. May I just say to everyone else on this thread that having had spook visit me for two days last week, I can tell you she is absolutely lovely. She is gorgeously pretty and has a fabulous figure, she looks 10 years younger than she is, she is warm, friendly, fun, intelligent and kind. My children fell totally in love with her and nearly cried when they had to say goodbye. They have done nothing but talk about her ever since.

spook's dh is a moron to have let her go, there is no way he will ever find a better woman. To be loved as he is by her once in a person's life is special and if he thinks he will find that kind of love again he is a fool. The only explanation I can find for his behaviour is pure guilt.

Spook, you deserve so much better. Do what you have said, make him realise you are serious. Then begin planning the wonderful new life you are going to enjoy in London. My family and I will be thrilled to be part of your new social circle, we all love you already and can't wait till we next see you again.

And thank you for driving 500? miles to see me. How absolutely lovely is it to have someone do that for you?

juniperDewdrop · 22/08/2004 21:38

Hi spook just adding my support. He's a childish fwit and I don't swear easily!
Apart from messing up your plans the coke thing is abysmal. I detest the stuff and he's doing this to mess with you hun. He can't be that happy otherwise why care so much about making you unhappy?
Maybe you should copy and print the paragraphs about the sh* things he's done and look at them if ever you feel your resolve weaken? I hope you stick to your guns on this.

Beccarollover · 22/08/2004 22:16

Can I just echo anoraks comments? As another mumsnetter who has met our lovely spook in the flesh she is really, really lovely, funny, warm, kind, clever and fun (not to mention pretty and skinny

spook · 22/08/2004 22:31

omigod Anorak. You've done it again. You and Becca have made me sob. Welcome back. I missed you and I hope you all had a really lovely time at Beetys. It was a long lonely drive back leaving such a happy gorgeous family.
Becca-I love you! And d'you know what Juniperdewdrop-I am going to do just that. Print off all the shitty things he's done. I have a spare few months coming up
Thankyou for being there girls {{{{{{{}}}}}}

spook · 23/08/2004 09:26

Oh-in the face of all this shit....sometimes life CAN be sweet. I have just signed my divorce papers and guess what????!!! They're serving him ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Beccarollover · 23/08/2004 09:30

I'm sure that will go down well!!

Where is he being served? Has it been decided yet?

spook · 23/08/2004 09:38

Have done some detective work on his address so will be at apartment! No shit Sherlock!!