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Original poster

Hook up sites

176 replies

NoMoreMrRight · 09/06/2015 17:41

So, been single for three years following my divorce. A very high sex drive, and I've been online dating (POF, Match etc) for about two years. Completely fed up of the bad manners, fickleness even when trying to find a FB.... I read earlier another thread about someone looking for NSA sex and some posters recommended going down the hook up site route as it apparently there's a lot less messing around etc..

I have tried POF etc in the past searching for 'only sex/something casual' profiles but although I got a FB for a couple of months out of it, it was still the same BS as when trying to find a relationship.

So, any recs for hook up/casual sex sites? Ideally one where I can just post some headless full body length pictures and then privately message the ones showing my face to any potentials (I live in a small village and I rather be discrete about all this).

Thanks in advance

OP posts:

BeenWondering · 12/06/2015 20:55

You mean Whatever works?

038THETA · 12/06/2015 21:11

I mean suit yourself
men outnumber women by 10 or 20 to 1 but if you want to act like you're the lucky one go ahead and make a doormat of yourself...no skin off my nose

Melonfool · 12/06/2015 21:14

I met my dp on Fabswingers, been together six years. No, we don't swing.

BeenWondering · 12/06/2015 21:34

038THETA I'm still trying to work out whom you are referring to when you say 'you'?
Who should "suit" themselves? Who is acting like the "lucky one" and making a "doormat" of themselves?

I know it's no skin off your nose (I might add neither on anyone else's) but you haven't exactly explained who's post you have a problem with. At the moment it just seems that you have a problem with two consenting adults having sex. I don't know why that is but it's not really my business to dig into the issues you carry.

I'm still wondering about your post referring to paying for sex because I think you should apologise for implying that anyone here is a prostitute and after doing so I think you should then hide the thread.

People don't live their lives according to your standards thank god but whilst you are welcome to post your opinion on a public forum, you have no right to speak about another person's choices with such vague disdain. At least own your argument and be upfront about it. Then perhaps someone might take you seriously but until you do so you will seem petty and naive. It actually comes across as though you may quite envy them. Live and let live I say.

038THETA · 12/06/2015 21:48

if you read the post prior to mine you will see that I meant paying for hotels

see that neck of yours

wind it in eh

BeenWondering · 12/06/2015 22:27

So that's what got you all worked up... I see now. Quite funny now I look at it. I did offer my opinion to that if you continued reading...(but alas). As you seem so obsessed by it I think we should all have a whip round, perhaps collectively we could afford a dedicated MN hotel room. Available to all for no cost. Consider it a sort of new-age communism.

BeenWondering · 12/06/2015 22:29

Anyway, I won't take the bait anymore. Consider yourself entertained. I'll go back to the thread now, if you don't mind.

Melonfool · 12/06/2015 23:06

Actually, if it's a hotel, in my view you should share the cost. You can't have it both ways - be an independent liberated woman who does as she pleases but still expect men to buy you dinner and pay for hotels. That just reinforces the old idea that women are 'giving"' something and men are taking, therefore men pay for the privilege.
If you want a level playing field you need to act as an equal. I hate being beholden to anyone anyway. When I did it, it was two drinks so we paid for one each, no dinner, no hotel, back to mine if I wanted to (and if they wanted to, but never met one who didn't).

One chap bought me an iPad nano, a box of Godiva chocolates and a boxed bottle of port - that all felt very odd! He was a US Airman though and I think they expected women to ask for stuff they could buy on the base cheap.

ItsACracker · 13/06/2015 00:25

All costs shared when I've been in this situation - makes for an amicable arrangement

Susieswinger · 13/06/2015 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pocketsaviour · 13/06/2015 14:09

I always let the guy pay for the hotel first time. Weeds out the insolvent. Then if we click I'll pay next time, then turn and turn about.

Susieswinger · 13/06/2015 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

avoiretre · 13/06/2015 15:02

Such a funny debate, especially the bit about who pays for the hotel...

Original poster

NoMoreMrRight · 13/06/2015 15:41

Re staying at a hotel. ... I don't know, I'd find it slightly embarrassing to check in late in the evening with no luggage etc (so clearly there for a hook up/affair...) and then leaving a couple of hours. .. I guess it's something you get used to doing after a couple of times?

OP posts:

avoiretre · 13/06/2015 16:04

I am going to offer to pay and it gives the lady the option then if she'd rather not meet elsewhere. I'll just have to cope with any embarrassment, maybe stay for the night and she can go as she pleases!

pocketsaviour · 13/06/2015 16:22

Nobody's going to notice or care what time you leave, and if it goes well you might be there all night anyway

Nevergoingtolearn · 13/06/2015 17:02

Just joined Fab so I could be nosey, my poor eyes , can't believe people post pictures when they are not blessed down below. I think I will stick to POF for now, I don't think I'm brave enough for fab.

ALaughAMinute · 13/06/2015 18:38

I am married, soon to be divorced. I'm in need of some casual sex but don't think I'd dare go on a website looking for it, especially if the men show pics of their cocks and talk about their sexual preferences and fetishes. It all seems a bit blatant and contrived to me. I'd much rather meet someone in real life and let things happen naturally and organically.

Good for you though OP, for having the guts to do it? Have you been on a date yet?

ShebaShimmyShake · 13/06/2015 20:57

I'd seriously stay off the net and just go to sex/fetish/swingers clubs. They are generally very safe and sociable places, without pressure to participate if you don't want to, usually with private rooms if you want them. All the benefits of actually meeting people in the flesh without any of the artificiality and uncertainty of a website. Go to one in the next city or something if you're worried about being seen. They are very calming and relaxing places, even if you don't actually participate in anything...just very chilled and liberated. Enjoy.

CtrlAltDelicious · 13/06/2015 21:46

I'd much rather a club like that, Sheba, than risking it with some random off the internet. But what holds me back is the idea that these clubs are filled with stunning, slender women. I am not these things! I am good fun, fairly pretty, sociable and very open minded... but I can't shake the fear that having an unattractive body precludes me from places like this.

goodcompany2 · 13/06/2015 21:59

Nah just ordinary women, Dressed nicely/sluttishly/drably; same as any other place. Well maybe the out and out slut outfits aren't. Clubs even have BBW (big beautiful women) themed events aimed at ladies with plus sized curves and the men that admire them. It is not the preserve of the young and slim; mostly over 40's and normal, slightly saggy, untoned, bit over weight but hiding it as best can bodies. Or that might have just been me. lol.

Melonfool · 13/06/2015 22:10

Myself and dp have been to a couple of these clubs, I agree they are not full of lovely slim women. But there can be a few odd men - most don't allow single men as far as I can tell, but even men in a couple can be odd.

If you go with someone you need to be 100% in tune with what you both want/hope for and will or won't do.
But they are fun, just like a club with drink, music and sex.

ShebaShimmyShake · 14/06/2015 12:27

No, they are filled with ordinary women (and men), and the age group tends to be older too. I'm in my early 30s and I am usually the youngest or among the youngest there. Average age seems to start at early 40s (though that may just be my area), plenty of people in their 50s and 60s (and their experience can be a real boon). Don't be fooled by the adverts, of course they're going to feature 18 year old size 8 bikini models! They are just chilled places for ordinary people looking for relaxed fun. And you never have to do anything if you don't want to. If you explain it's your first time, people will be very careful to look out for you. You'll probably be invited to join in, but if you just want to watch at first that will be fine (if they want privacy they can go into a private room).

You'll probably find you get a very cheap entry rate as a single woman too - couples and single men often have to pay more. If you're a lone lady, you will be greatly in demand!

Very relaxing and non judgmental places. Be aware that many of the smaller ones aren't licensed, in order to keep costs down, so you might need to bring your own alcohol if you feel the need for a little Dutch courage! But the website should tell you whether it is or not.

Have fun.

rambunctious · 14/06/2015 14:12

sheba, I've looked at my local swingers club, but am still very nervous about taking it further! This is a very silly question, but, er, can one go in wearing jeans??? Do you HAVE to parade around in your undies???

BeenWondering · 14/06/2015 14:49

rambunctious No you don't have to go in parading your underwear. Indeed some people will be wearing outfits that wouldn't be acceptable anywhere else but in such an establishment. The main focus is to feel comfortable.

Even if all you want to do is having a drink and a chat then so be it. I think a lot of nervousness people feel stems from pressure of certain expectations. Treat it no differently than you would if you were going to a club or whatever.

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