the Sordid affair thread - the 'story' goes on

[TealFanClub]

Ok for those of use who were just settling down to catch up on it..

here is what happened next

I told daughter one - I coudnt keep the pretence going any longer, and my lack of appetite and sallow appearance was a giveaway.

Meanwhile, Rex ventured to the wilds of the North, in order to meet up with the orange Cheshire scumbag set.....

0400am

... is very apt because it was exactly that time my daughter woke me as she had to be up early for a course. It's a wonder she didn't wake the whole terrace the amount of racket she was making.

I could not get back to sleep so logged onto MN and this thread and there I was lying in bed, reading this ... with tears of laughter running down my cheeks. As if the writing wasn't funny enough, I genuinely nearly pissed myself at the knitted porn pics and only just made it to the bathroom.

Bloody brilliant! Well done to all concerned! Keep up the good work!

The crochet porn was far too disturbing. What with that and the Cheshire scumbag I hardly slept a wink.
Am incredibly jealous of Geraldine and Sebastian's jaunty perched beret. I've never had Exotic Sex.

jauntily

"Seductively wearing his beret"

Geraldine slips out of bed and heads to the bathroom to freshen up. She is startled how her appearance reflects the intimate nature of her thrice-interrupted sleep. Her skin is flushed and youthful whilst her eyes glisten with wonton wontoness; even her jutting collarbone seems to collude to expose her.

She feels a desperate need for air; sweeping her hair into a chignon and applying a trace of lip balm Geraldine scans her surroundings for a change of clothes. She spies Seb's Tour De France top and cycling shorts as is surprised how flattering they are on her now firm curves.

Geraldine becomes very aware that her scent has entertwined with Seb's to create musk d'apres d'amour. She deftly ties a string of onions around her neck and creeps outside.....

Acrossthepond

RexsLittleSlut
Read the PM

I did! It was me that drew attention to it on this thread. Read my post:

No - Dobbin is wholly owned by my husband Rupert - keep up. Geraldine tells a lot of lies when emailing her friends. She's a bit deluded.

And yes Rupert is definitely a Cheshire scumbag. So far as I know, no one has told Rupert that Geraldine knows about Rex and me and our crochet porn. Rex doesn't know I was doing it for Rupert and the whole thing was being filmed. Nor does Geraldine.

I'm wildly swinging like a Cheshire barndoor in the wind between overwhelming passion and love for Rupert and then revulsion at the degrading sexual activity he forces me to do with other men for his own gratification. I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

This is absolutely brilliant. The post about Dobbin in the wedding dress is one of the funniest things I've read on here. I've never actually read any Jilly books (bit of a literary snob) but am quite tempted now.

Well I am reporting all of you.

Fecking trolls

Drying the tears which had revealed her to be a raddled hag caressed her soft cheeks like morning dew on the petals of a rose, Geraldine donned a Victoria Beckham charcoal grey pin-striped backless daydress, slipped into a pair of Zanotti white open toed boots and picked up her precious balmoral tartan Birkin before leaving Sebastian's chateau in the battered Citroen 2cv he had so generously put at her disposal.

Tomorrow she must return to the misery of her rapidly disintegrating marriage to Rex, but today she would scour the markets and boutiques of St Trop for souvenirs of her brief but bewildering sojourn on the Riviera - when would Sebby tell all?

After choosing a book of French choral songs for dd1, a Ralph Lauren polo shirt for dd2, an amusing piece of tat objet d'art for lovelyfriend, a bunch of newly pulled purple carrots for Dobbin, and 200 Gauloise and a bottle of Gerard Depardieu's L'ail Pour Homme for Jim, Geraldine reflected that while it was unlikely the latter would ever be as seductively charming as a Frenchman, she could at least ensure he smelled like one.

The heady scent of mimosa warmed by the mid-day sun filled the 2cv as she drove back to the chateau to lunch with Sebastian on the grand terrace with its spectacular views of the Med. Would they spend the afternoon lounging by the infinity pool or christening the billiard room?

not to be continued... on the other thread where I inadvertently posted the above. deja vu or overdue trip to specsavers?

Drying the tears which had revealed her to be a raddled hag caressed her soft cheeks like

Meanwhile back in England, Rupert had just arrived home after a hard ride out on AgaKhanSaga. Frankly, the horse had been skittish and difficult to handle, showing his thorough bred pedigree, but - thought Rupert to himself - he'd been more than up to the job because he too was a thorough bred.

He walked into the enormous sleek but modern designer kitchen. He swept his floppy silver hair away from his forehead with a nonchalant hand as he reached into the enormous stainless platinum Samsung smart fridge to grab a bottle of chilled water.

Rupert turned and saw his wife (that's me Rexs Little Slut not to be named second Mrs De Winter style) had come into the kitchen. He immediately thought of the latest secret film of her being brutally taken by Rex that he'd watched that morning and started to become aroused.

He walked over to her and kissed her hard on the mouth. Fresh sweat from his ride dripped on to her. Inexplicably, she went weak at the knees. What was it about Rupert she wondered?

He was a real Cheshire scumbag she knew but he was so damn sexy in his tight white jodphurs and white riding shirt, his face lightly tanned.

"When are you next seeking Rex, darling?" he asked between kisses

Iwashappy I'm dreadfully sorry, it's more than likely that I conflated your thread with another one whose OP was a Miss Marple type. I remember your phone code posts and imagined you to be younger than that. Now you have explained it's clear why you would feel under pressure to meet expectations so that you could still be supported. Poor iwas, May your own Cheshire scumbag fall off a cliff.

Rex

I guess I should have remembered to put the I in my post. Read as in 'red'. I read the pm. Sorry.

Meanwhile not in France ....

Rex casually makes himself a late lunch - after a particularly fraught exchange of words with Jim - what/who has got into him? smoked salmon and an organic curd cheese from the farm shop - so much naicer than that shop bought plastic rubbish, chewing thoughtfully he feels himself get hard as he recalls with pleasure the last encounter with hislittleslut, wondering if he would appear desperate if he emailed again but this time enclosing the video he carefully taken video of his morning's private play time while thinking about Dobbin, his sleek rump proved a most pleasurable fantasy hmmmmm, but no, that would be taking things too far............ but maybe..........

Lovely Friend is knitting furiously.

Poor Dobbin....

As a result of this thread I'm tempted to dust off my ancient copy of Riders. I don't suppose any of you will be joining me?

Oh Lovely don't be coming over all hot and bothered. It's not worth it. As a result of pearl clenching I've actually got sore knuckles.
Have some

CLUTCHING! Fucking hell this thread is sending me quite strange. Clutching, of course, my buttocks are clenched.

Can't believe I fell for devs wedding dress scene, hook, line, sinker, Rod, fish, angler everything. Feel such an idiot

You're writing in sync now ladies. it's getting a real narrative flow to it. I find myself hotly anticipating the next

'meanwhile ........'

My newest favourite phrase is

"Geraldine donned a Victoria Beckham charcoal grey pin-striped backless daydress"

Gin - so with you it is my annual summer bonkbuster - I go to Scotland every summer and there it is on the shelf where I left it winking at me. I spend about four days demolishing it and regressing to my 15 year old self, falling for Jake, being wowed by Rupert and then hating him but not really, then being pissed off at Jake for being annoying, then falling completely in love with Rupert and almost Cheering at the Press Conference at he end after the LA Olympics - Im knackered by the end!!

I then dip into Rivals and completely worship at the alter of RCB for the next few days - am such an anti social bitch on holiday!!!

Plum, I actually preferred Rivals of the two but if I'm picking Riders up again after XX years, I'll read it first then Rivals.
I fell for Billy, saw Jake more of a brotherly type.

I think they'll both make great summer reading.

Meanwhile in France

Geraldine returned to the chateau. Arms laden with her carefully selected presents she kicked off her Zanotti boots and padded into the drawing room. She set down the bags on the chaise lounge (roumered to have been owned by Louis XIV).
"Where have you been"? The voice was behind her; turning on her naked heels she spun around to meet Seb's gaze. His eyes bore into her flashing with a hint of fury, her eyes flashed with confusion. His eyes then flashed quizzically; hers then flashed with indignation.
Geraldine stumbled back, brushing against her Chanel bag sending the contents everywhere. In perfect harmony Seb and Geraldine knelt on the floor gathering up her belongings. Reaching for the last item their hands touched; Geraldine felt the now familiar frisson of lust rush through her veins. Seb smiled knowingly. He gently passed her the final item only for Geraldine to dissolve into sobs.
"What is it Mon cherie" his tone of concern mixed with bewilderment.
"La plume De Rex's Tante" she replied with her thoughts now only of Rex. "Oh Rex whatever are you doing now" she silently wondered.

Rex was doing his littleslut with a great deal of enthusiasm. She looked very fetching in the bridle he'd bought for her, her name nearly as shiny as Dobbin's and her rump almost as rounded