OP, I'm a man and happy to share my view on it.
We're obviously all trying to piece a picture together from what you've shared in your posts. But what I see is a man who is (or at least he feels he is) at a different stage of life to you.
You have a very young child and another one on the way. For most right-thinking adults that means there are years ahead of hard work, sacrifice, making ends meet and all the rest of it. However, he has taken voluntary redundancy, isn't looking for a job to replace it and has bought a yacht. If you had a few million tucked away in the bank between you then that might be fine, but I'm assuming you don't. Did you not discuss with him what his plans were following the redundancy? It feels from your posts like he decided he wanted to early retire, has done that and the impact on you and the children was then an afterthought.
I can't really imagine how that situation could come about in a normal and functioning relationship. So that leads me to think that this guy is hugely selfish and, given his age and apparent personality, there is no way that is going to change. I'm sorry, I know that really isn't what you want to hear.
A poster earlier in the thread said that what he needs is a shock to his system, something to shake him up. I agree with that (but perhaps not for the reasons that the other poster raised it). I struggle a bit with why you are so set against leaving this relationship. He will have to provide financial support for his children if you split up (although the fact that you are not married potentially puts you in a more precarious position financially).
Perhaps right now isn't the time to bring this to a head in terms of you actually making a decision to leave (not sure how much of your pregnancy is left). But I do think you need to make clear to him now that the status quo (and what will become the status quo when new baby arrives) is simply not acceptable and you are not prepared to continue the relationship on that basis. And set out what he needs to do - in a list if need be. I completely agree that a man should not need to be treated like a 7 year old with a reward chart. But it seems to me that you have absolutely nothing to lose at this stage of the game. And his reaction to being asked to do what he bloody well should be in the first place might help put you into the frame of mind you need to think about leaving him.
I don't suggest that because I think it is the shock that he needs, but simply because you and your children deserve better. And if he can't step up to the plate, he will have to deal with the consequences of it.