'You don't think that might have occurred to the OP? And that if she's here at her wit's end, it's because it had no effect?' - that's why I said 'Could it be as simple as that?' because having read through this thread I couldn't find any evidence that she had done that. That's why I opined it.
'In the real world Baz, people divide chores and don't have to nag their husbands' - nope, I'd say in certain peoples 'real' world that's exactly what happens. It doesn't make it right, but that's how it is. is it like that for the OP? Dunno. Maybe. Maybe not.
And as for 'People don't change, and if they do it's certainly not at the instigation of someone else' - what a load of complete and utter bollocks! So your advice would be 'you can't change him so you might as well leave him'? So he is beyond redemption and she should leave him/throw him out and turn her life and that of her child upside down because he's a lost cause?
Also, I recall reading early on in this thread something along the lines of 'why is it that when women complain is it called nagging?' Why feel the need to type and score out nagging as if I have suggested that complaining is nagging? I never used the work nag. But you know, that's what us men do, right? Always moaning about the little woman at home nagging us. What a right bunch of bastards we are.
I doubt that anything I say would ever suit your worldview, but hey ho, I can be an argumentative fucker and really hate being put into a neatly labelled box by anyone who doesn't know who I am and what I think.