What are your thoughts on this situation?

[katiemorovsky]

I have namechanged as I have spoken to a friend about this and I know she is a mumsnetter.

I have been married 13 years and have 3 children. I have been a sahm for the last 5 years and plan to start looking for work again after my youngest starts school later this year. My husband has been the sole earner during this time.

My husband works very hard and sometimes unpredictable hours, he sometimes travels with work so will be away for a week at a time. I have no family nearby. Therefore, understandably, most of the childcare falls to me including evenings and occasionally weekends. The last time we went out together was a few months ago to see a film when my mum came to stay. I'm including this detail to give some idea of our lifestyle.

My husband was recently invited to a work friend's wedding which will mean a weekend away. I wasn't invited to the wedding. I told him I thought it was strange that I wasn't invited and asked him to wait until we could check the diary before he accepted the invitation.

Several days later whilst looking at his emails he announced that he was going to the wedding and was now best man. This means he will be away for a Friday night with the stag do and over a weekend for the wedding whilst I look after the kids on my own again.

I am so upset and cross that I haven't been consulted, that I haven't been invited and that it's just accepted that I'll look after the children whilst he goes to this wedding. I feel like we're not a couple any more. I have told him how upset I am and he hasn't changed his plans.

Am I over-reacting?

[Crinkle77]

It wouldn't bother me that I hadn't been invited especially if I didn't know them and it was just a small do. Saying that there do seem to be some things that don't add up.

[WowProjectingMuch]

Gosh, I'm surprised at this thread. I wouldn't have minded at all if my DH went to a wedding where I didn't know anyone without me. However, I would have expected him to do the same for me and to have grovelled a bit

I understand that the OP gets lumbered with most of the child 'rearing' but that's not the DHs fault as he is at work . It would be different if he was skivving off doing a hobby every weekend but that doesn't sound like its the case.

OP would you feel differently if you could go away for a fun weekend with your friends and your DH stayed home?

[VanitasVanitatum]

Big red flag, big. Why doesn't he want to spend time with you? Clearly he should have a +1 and could very easily ask for one - logical conclusion is he doesn't want one.

[prorsum]

This is a very tricky one for the OP because she's got to stand her ground with DH, either by going to a wedding he tells her she's not been invited to, or plan a weekend for herself at a later date whilst he takes care of dcs. This is something he may not like much and won't put up with. Where does that leave her.

[AnyFucker]

it leaves her exactly where she was before

being suspicious if the dodgy behaviour of her partner

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I'm not surprised that you're angry, OP. I have to say though, faking a wedding is not the best way to get two days away from a husband/wife. They would expect to be invited - as you are. A far better 'excuse' would be a work thing.

So I'd surmise that the wedding is real, it's being extended though, I think.

[oabiti]

cheapsunglasses

[oabiti]

Sorry, not read all of the responses but if there is another woman, she could have invited him as a plus one to a wedding she was invited to.

[CrapBag]

I invited my work collegues to my wedding (the evening do) and I didn't invite their partners. Would have been too many to add to the numbers.

But.....The fact that he said yes, was suddenly best man but just as suddenly he has pulled out....no that's not right. Definitely a red flag there.