HOBBIT’S BAR – still finding it hard to move on…part 9

[bobs123]

Welcome to Hobbit’s Bar, owned by Hobbit, open to all and run by anyone who wants the job!

This is the place to come if your marriage/relationship has come to an end and you are struggling to come to terms with this. It is a place to vent, ask for advice, relate to others in the same situation, take a break and have a laugh, whatever.

There are people in this bar at all stages of separation – just separated, negotiating, mediation, court, divorced - and all reasons for this, whether it is abuse, general breakdown, financial worries, OW/OM involved, or coming to terms with a new life.

It is a place to come to for support. You are never obliged to give support to others or reply to any posts. It is ALWAYS okay to say SHIT THIS IS HARD and interrupt the giggles if you are having a tough time. No apology necessary. No one will have a go at you for what you are feeling and share on here. Divorce is a rollercoaster, we are all at different stages, so feel free to jump right in.

Some glossary terms:

1. Jess is our mascot. Owned by Hobbit, she might do requests if there are enough sausages in it for her.
2. Izzitinis are a revolting cocktail created by Izzie that only she drinks!
3. No 6’s are what we are/were married to, after Hobbit’s Twunts list. Some of us also have “pet” nicknames for our exes
4. KOKO – keep on keeping on (used a lot on here along with SHIT THIS IS HARD)
5. Ignore any exclamation marks posted by Izzie or Roz that might make their comments sounds a bit…dodgy. Something to do with their iPads having a mind of their own!
6. We all listen to WWK aka WellWhoKnew aka Mother who keeps us under control.

Our theme tune is

My name is bobs, 55, married 22 years, 2 DDs 21 & 18 who have NC with their Dad. Nisi granted last April on the basis of 2 year separation while living in the same house. Tried solicitors for over a year to sort out the financials, then mediation for 5 months which didn’t work as due to his PA nature he is all but supine and unable to contribute. Sold our family home over a year ago and have been living in rental as he had the house proceeds frozen. He has now been given a choice of accepting my proposal or going to arbitration or court.

Link to last thread, which has links to all the previous threads here

That's a formidable owl there nod nod wink wink blind bat and all that

Ok let's try......fit young men with rippling muscles. Got one going spare here any takers?

Finally......... Feeling antsy tonight - went on a Meet Up and it's all such a crock of shite at times - sitting there talking to people you don't really want to be talking to - at least it was a film for most of it...in a fucking bad mood now..

"Bush Love" by Diana Bush and the Bushettes

You eat snot moother? Bleurghhh ...

It's all such a crock of shite at times - sitting there talking to people you don't really want to be talking to

The definition of marriage

My h used to flick it down onto the carpet at the side of the sofa and think I didn't notice.....

Snot, what about spinach??

aww.. wise my darling, why do ya feel that way?

wish gross

You eat spinach moother? Bleurghhh....

Where has mooother gone?

I feel hopeless tonight..think its better to say home with the cat..

stay

Bed now... Nos dda nutty namechangers...

I agree...

but think I may have to watch the last 5 Motown now..

Me too

Sorry Wise you didn't have a good evening. I do like your name though...

Yes bed. And I love spinach I've had two portions of it today. Yum.

I do not eat snot.

Nor do I flick it down the back of the sofa

Sleep well [bushes].

I'm off to bed now, I was going to bed by 11... Night everyone.

The film was great - Danny Collins - Al Pacino F.A.B!

WWK "I do not eat snot" I think that would impress future employers so add it to your CV.

iwas...God my ex used to do that too, the sex thing...no compass for appropriate behaviour at all, one of the very things that makes me think he has autism (from what I have had to learn about it because of DS). Goodness, a list of why I don't miss him :

1. Leaving food/bread/butter over every surface for me to clear up.
2. Leaving doors/drawers wide open having rifled through them, leaving the detritus for me to clear up.
3. Dirty pants everywhere.
4. Wet towels on bed.
5. Removing his own toenails (I kid you not) and leaving them lying around.
6. Spending money left, right and centre on himself, making major purchases without any discussion ie : a motorbike he tried to hide in the garage and a £28K car he turned up with without even mentioning it.
7. Constant embarrassing remarks about me in whatever inappropriate setting he could find, sometimes in front of complete strangers.
8. Crisp packets/biscuit packets just dropped on floor.
9. Migraines, his feckin' migraines that dominated our life and ruined every bloody weekend.

10. His capacity for constant sleep. 11. Leaving me to do absolutely everything, no help, no support, no input. 12. His half done jobs around the house, that remain half done, never finished anything. 13. Constant nagging and shouting at DD, why I put up with that I will never know. 14. His affairs, the many affairs. 15. Trying it on with my friends, even my brother's fiancee. 16. I really can't mention it, it's too disgusting. 17. Coming into the bathroom to have a dump when I was in the bath. Regardless of two other toilets in the house. He thought that was hilarious. 18. Digging out his nose like he was scouting for treasure.

I need to stop...I'd be here all night. He did have one or two good points, sometimes, but I really can't think of any now. It's amazing how your views change isn't it?

Fucking hell *mrsc ! That's a catalogue of disaster

Ha ha ha! Loving the owl!!