HOBBIT’S BAR – still finding it hard to move on…part 9

[bobs123]

Welcome to Hobbit’s Bar, owned by Hobbit, open to all and run by anyone who wants the job!

This is the place to come if your marriage/relationship has come to an end and you are struggling to come to terms with this. It is a place to vent, ask for advice, relate to others in the same situation, take a break and have a laugh, whatever.

There are people in this bar at all stages of separation – just separated, negotiating, mediation, court, divorced - and all reasons for this, whether it is abuse, general breakdown, financial worries, OW/OM involved, or coming to terms with a new life.

It is a place to come to for support. You are never obliged to give support to others or reply to any posts. It is ALWAYS okay to say SHIT THIS IS HARD and interrupt the giggles if you are having a tough time. No apology necessary. No one will have a go at you for what you are feeling and share on here. Divorce is a rollercoaster, we are all at different stages, so feel free to jump right in.

Some glossary terms:

1. Jess is our mascot. Owned by Hobbit, she might do requests if there are enough sausages in it for her.
2. Izzitinis are a revolting cocktail created by Izzie that only she drinks!
3. No 6’s are what we are/were married to, after Hobbit’s Twunts list. Some of us also have “pet” nicknames for our exes
4. KOKO – keep on keeping on (used a lot on here along with SHIT THIS IS HARD)
5. Ignore any exclamation marks posted by Izzie or Roz that might make their comments sounds a bit…dodgy. Something to do with their iPads having a mind of their own!
6. We all listen to WWK aka WellWhoKnew aka Mother who keeps us under control.

Our theme tune is

My name is bobs, 55, married 22 years, 2 DDs 21 & 18 who have NC with their Dad. Nisi granted last April on the basis of 2 year separation while living in the same house. Tried solicitors for over a year to sort out the financials, then mediation for 5 months which didn’t work as due to his PA nature he is all but supine and unable to contribute. Sold our family home over a year ago and have been living in rental as he had the house proceeds frozen. He has now been given a choice of accepting my proposal or going to arbitration or court.

Link to last thread, which has links to all the previous threads here

Hows this

Thanks Izzie dont tell anyone I had to ask [bush]

I'm on a roll now

Evening ladies and drifted. getting your post was very moving. Welcome.

fuckit Good luck this week. Sounds stressful but glad your dog sounds a little better. Yes, a dog dating site. My boy's a gentle soul who would treat all ladies well - unlike Mr HRT, he's loyal, loving and always happy to see me.

I've had an industrious day and although far from up to date, have at least made inroads into the mountain of paper.

I'm cheered by you wonderfully resilient lovely ladies tonight and had a good giggle. Thank you. A giggle was much needed. GCSE stress - history tomorrow and that idiot husband of mine who never fails to bring my mood down. It's all about him all the time. He's been complaining about tiredness all day after his little trip last night and I've refused to rise to the bait. I know we are all but separated now but even so......Not long now for me until this nightmare ends - well tge first chapter of it. However awful moving and telling DC is going to be, it has to be preferable to this. I think he's having second thoughts about living here by himself. He's making noises again about renting a flat nearer to his main office base. The whole of our separation agreement has been drawn up around me moving. He knows I can't cope with this place on my own and can't face staying here but just to unsettle and unnerve me he has to niggle away about it and make me anxious. I hate that he would do that to me. He's got what he wanted but even that isn't good enough. Nothing is ever good enough.

Think I'm going to have to sign off for the night. Koko xx sleep well all

Hello Getting thank you for your great post and welcome to the Bar. Can't believe the OW was discussing her wedding plans with you, in what way ever would that be acceptable!!

iwas love that saying!

ITV Motown is on! Ah I'm in heaven, my favourite

Enjoy the music Izzie I see you have reverted to the amount of rooms in your mansion rather than focusing on your stone wall!!!!!!!!

Bobs are you doing the next thread?

Good luck tomorrow FuckIt I hope it goes well for you. A baby at 53 sounds horrendously hard work. It was exhausting in my forties, but 53! It won't all be plain sailing there. x

Well I don't like to remind myself too much about the twunt. Although I remembered something I'd blissfully forgotten about. In later years the entitled one became very insistent he had his questions answered, even if he didn't answer mine. And he would keep repeating his question, demanding to be answered, whilst still ignoring mine. Oh I do miss him. Not

Don't mind doing it unless someone else want to? As Izzie said, sometimes it moves so fast.....it's easier to so 2 at a time perhaps?

These are for Getting and WWK [bush]

Yes, good luck fuckit

Sorry not replied to PM iwas......

How old is she fuckit'if you don't mind me asking?
A good few years younger than him obviously, that's really shit my love, sending you ((((hugs))))

Evening all, goodness another night of stressful DS issues. I really wish I could get to the bottom of this, poor little man, he is definitely not himself at the moment. Tomorrow we have another ASD course filming session, I always looking forward to these stress about what to wear and use contouring kit to disguise any chin issues. It's all about me, obviously . I too am flabbergasted about Getting's story about the wedding. What the actual fuck is wrong with these women? You really must be an absolute moral vacuum to think that something like that is ever acceptable when you have knowingly wrecked an entire family. I will never ever "get" it for as long as I live. Mind you, the OW in my case once kindly told me "I am bored of your pitiful bleating". Still leaves me open mouthed.

DD is preparing for her history GCSE tomorrow...poor girl has had so much to deal with lately, especially with my recent issues in relation to ex-twunt and OW that have yet to be widely reported as I feel it is best not to at this time. I do wish they would think twice about what they inflict on us, I doubt it would even have occurred to them that DD is doing her exams or that this is such an important time for her. She has worked so very hard and deserves to do well. While she has been offered a place to do her A Levels, we are now considering the possibility of other venues in order that we can relocate and start again. It is so bloody stressful. I don't want to leave my home, or uproot the children, but have little choice now.

Anyway, on a happier note and as we are preparing the house for sale now, I told DS that we would need to start decorating, which he duly did, with red paint...."dinosaur footprints Mummy" it's all the rage

Izzie mine was the same - could never answer a direct question:

Me: do you want to go to this party we've been invited to?
Him: do you want to go?
Me: yes (waited for a bit)...so shall we go?
Him: not sure. I'll have to think about it

I miss him so much too -Twat!

We should have a twunt free day Izzie

That's fine with me Bobs think two at a time is a good idea. Like the quotes!

Oh and good luck fuckit...thinking of you

Lol at the dinosaur footprints MrsC - that's sweet. I'm sure Izzie will help - she MUST have finished her house by now and must be a decorating pro . So you're selling up?

I remember the History GCSE when DDs did it - such a vast subject and so much writing. Hope she does well

iwas do you want to do the one/two after?

MrsC you are coping so well with everything you are having to deal with. I hope you manage to resolve the issues with your DS very soon. [pineapple]

We should have a twunt free day Izzie

Essential supplies needed. Semtex get here with this Tesco rifles......

No problem Izzie lazy cow

Bobs can do, Izzie suggested it a while back so was just checking I wasn't going to end up with a day's notice as this thread is filling up fast as usual.

Izzie hasn't finished her house yet, she's only done 382 rooms, 213 to go! You would think a house that size would need a ride on mower, do we know anyone with 1

iwas does want to. I've been grooming her. Ps I am NOT an iwas prevent

Or prevert

Does this help?

iwas you can do the next one if you want - not bothered either way

Izzie grooming her