Newish BF wants a threesome..

[Oohheck]

I can't actually believe I am writing this post.
I have nc'ed for this.

I have been in a relationship for about four months now with a chappie who is caring, spends time with me, we like each other and get in really well.

Back story, I left my marriage of 20 years last summer. So I guess new chap is kind of my rebound guy?

Whatever he is, I value our relationship.

So, as things have progressed, he has talked about his ultimate fantasy being a threesome with another girl. I admit I am bi curious, and in my head it's ok. We have talked about it, and he says he knows a girl who may be willing to join us.
I have said that if this was one if my friends, I'd be telling her to step away as it has hurt written all over it.

I guess I have answered my own question.
I am also sad that he is willing to risk what we have, although it is in the early stages, for his own gains.

So, thoughts please on the three way, and also on him.

enjoy. Be prepared to walk away after. And they are more work than you imagine. And fun.

He won't thank you. He won't stay with you if you do. If you want a 3 some be single and find two randoms. If you aren't enough then tell him to jog on.

The thing to take away is that you had some fun with a man who was pleasant company (and presumably fun in bed) and walked away when it stopped being fun. That's great. Just because something doesn't last for very long doesn't make it terrible - and a few short-term, casual flings are really good for women to engage in. You get to learn what you do and don't enjoy and, more importantly, you get to learn that it's fine to call a halt when you're bored, or not having fun for any other reason, rather than buying into the awful idea that if you've shagged a bloke a couple of times you have to work on the relationship.

The other myth people should lose, by the way, is the one that the best sex happens when you're In Love. This is bullshit. What's more likely to happen is that women put up with tedious, fumbling, inexpert sexual moves from a man who might be a decent human being and who they are very fond of, because they don't want to hurt his feelings and of course Love is so much more important than sex, which is a bit icky really... When you are madly infatuated with someone, it doesn't matter that he's a bit of a two-pump chump and thinks cunnilingus is a type of pasta - and when you do start getting tired of that, you can't bring yourself to tell him in case he bursts into tears or accuses you of cheating...

Thanks all.
We have been chatting and are happy to dial it back to being friends. I am happy that we can maintain this. Our shared love of inappropriate humour and sarcasm was the pull.

We are still planning to spend bank holiday together, firmly as friends though.
In all honesty, I believe him when he says that he was not setting me up. But it's done now. Plenty more where he came from

Solid maybe what people mean about the best sex in a loving relationship is the deep intimacy that you feel which can be very emotional.

It's not a myth either nor is it bullshit. That is your experience so far.

Glad to hear that Oohheck. Sounds like a good outcome.

Milllli - It's a matter of different people wanting different things. It's a myth like the one about monogamy being a) natural and b) morally superior. It's neither. It's just another fetish, as is 'emotional deep intimacy' - some people like it and some don't.