Have you ever come across a Sociopath / Psychopath?

[Bursarymum]

I've been reading 'The Sociopath Next Door'. And it got me thinking. Psychopathic killers are rare but it seems those without any conscience are not so rare.

I'm sure I must have come across them - it's a statistical certainty! But, I can't recognise anyone or put that label on anyone, which I find a bit disturbing. I've had a lot of horrible experiences and grew up in an abusive dysfunctional home, which has left me unable to protect myself I think. No barriers or warning instincts.

I think for the most part, people dont recognise psychopaths or sociopaths for what they are, and that's why they can be so disruptive and even dangerous. Posters on this thread are the exception, not the norm.

Well I have to say, I didn't recognise the one I was involved with until he hooked me in. I found myself analysing and feeling constantly puzzled about his bizarre and senseless behaviour. It has helped to discover what he is because now it's easier to accept that any involvement with him will mean misery for me and that it's a waste of my life to give him the time of day.

Max Clifford..psychopath and narcassist surely?

Lots of us have had experiences with male p/s/aspd. I wonder what the ratio of male to female is?

I have a female friend that has an almost total absence of emotion or depth of feeling. An inability to demonstrate compassion or empathy. She isn't manipulative or charming, just a regular person. She uses me for company and I can see that clearly.
I've often wondered about her - is she emotionally shut down due to a dyfunctional upbringing or is she a sociopath. I wouldnt speak to her about it but if I did I guess she wouldn't care less if she were a sociopath.

As someone said upthread, not all are remarkable or charming but are regular people, albeit people who often create problems for those around them.

Yes I think a lot of them are very ordinary. The media tends to portray them as hugely charming/intelligent/attractive or a combination of all three (Hannibal Lecter springs to mind) but of course that's not the reality.

The one I knew seemed ordinary enough at first and actually is not even particularly intelligent.

Have been lurking on this thread, and some interesting anecdotes, thanks.
Just did the online test, and scored 29/37. I thought there seemed to be not many older female faces used, i certainly was aware that it was a man or woman and felt i was possibly attributing certain feelings more to men and women.
Knew a boy about 12 years ago, and i always thought there was something unusual about him. He could be absolutely delightful and was charming and clever, but there was always trouble when he was around, he seemed to incite arguments and enjoy sitting back and watching it happen. He had a really strained relationship with his mum. I always wonder what happened to him.

Just realised my use of the word 'anecdotes' doesn't do justice to the difficult times posters have obviously faced...sorry. Some people have had great distress and harm caused by others and i wanted to acknowledge that

One thing I noticed - he never used my name. Probably because he saw me as an object. Anyone else come across that?

Strange...he never used my name until he left me. Then he almost uses it like an insult.

Oh dear - I only scored 26....a lot of the pics conveyed nothing to me, so presume I am not very empathic

Me too BMW (blush)

I scored 32 so not brilliant but above average.

I scored 33 but to be fair you'd need to see the whole expression, i.e. the whole face, not just a snapshot of the eyes. And tbh some emotions that sit at opposite ends of the spectrum can be expressed with the same expression.

my ex says he's a sociopath.

There's something "off" but I doubt the diagnosis tbh

BMW and Meerka - that's about average isn't it? Sociopaths are said to score about 7 on that test, not 27!

it's a couple points below average I think. Not exactly worrying but hey, it'd be nice to be average =)

my ex says he's a sociopath

That sounds like the perfect time to remember "When someone tells you who they are, listen".

I agree Gralick!

Yes. The man who tortured and abused me. A psychopath for sure.

hartic.

Gralick - what's that 'when someone tells you' thing? Sounds interesting. Do you mean people tend to reveal who they are to test what you'll endure and so they feel guilt free when they misbehave?

My father. Married my poor mum when they were both Young- she was vulnerable as her mother had died young and they had a lot of family tragedy. They remained married 30 years until he left her (after stealing from me on a holiday)

I would love to write a list of the things he did but they are so identifiable.... Earliest One though was going to work after setting our house on Fire. He has got no better.

Unfortunately my son now has severe mental health problems.... It's never ending.

I forgot to add. We were all in bed when Fire was lite.

Exactly that, lastlines. Even if they're not testing you as such, just too dense to realise they've admitted something gross, still listen!

Fucking hell, wanna and hartic. I hope you've both had/are getting the support you need to rebalance yourselves.

*my ex says he's a sociopath

That sounds like the perfect time to remember "When someone tells you who they are, listen".*

well, he is an ex.

but he didn't match the diagnostic criteria. He has some king of BPD but I have my doubts about the specific disorder.