After we had been together for about 2y, DH used to work with a woman who he became very good friends with (they worked together for about 6y). I didn't really like how close they became: together all day, every day at work; team meetings/team lunches/boozy outings, etc, where they'd joke around - lots of banter, chatty emails to eachother, that kind of thing. I used to get so sick of hearing her name all the time.
My DH is a friendly bloke who is oblivious to other women finding him attractive. I honestly think this woman had a bit of a thing for him and would have taken things further had I not been on the scene (who knows, maybe DH would have dated her if he hadn't been with me).
After they stopped working together (several years ago now), they stayed in touch via email but their closeness seemed increasingly inappropriate to me and after a few months of it, I asked him to cut contact with her: which he begrudgingly did. It caused some tension between us as I think he thought I was being paranoid and petty.
About 18m later, she joined FB and rather than her creating more tension between us, I relented and 'allowed' (can't think of a better word, sorry) them to be FB friends. I also became her FB friend but this was really just to keep my eye on things.
After our dd was born I tried really hard to be friends with her and went on a couple of outings with her and her toddler. But I just don't really like her. I find that there's something I don't trust about her, which wasn't helped by her saying things like 'Oh! I can't believe Mr. Molotov never told you about that!'
She's been alright most of the time in the 2y since. An ever present member of our FB lives: constant 'likes' and comments from her, which have been harmless enough and I think DH is happy just having her as a FB friend. The intense friendship seems to have subsided.
Except the other week she wrote a passive-aggressive comment about my appearance in a photo. She compared my appearance to a fairly unattractive celebrity. I showed DH the comment and he didn't think she meant to be offensive. I said 'OH, COME ON!' and his response was that I shouldn't put photos like that particular one of myself on FB
We didn't talk anymore about it.
Her comment and his reaction really pissed me off (I was silently seething all weekend) and made me remember everything that I dislike and distrust about her. I find her to be a pest. She's not my real, actual friend IRL so I've restricted what she can see on my FB account. I could delete her as a friend altogether, but this way I can still keep my eye on things.
I dunno. I trust my DH but their past friendship - and that I feel like I'm always the one who is made out to be unreasonable - makes me feel weird. I'd love her to just disappear from our contact altogether.
What do you think? Is my most recent reaction unreasonable? How could I react positively if the subject arises again?