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Original poster

Am I wrong in thinking this is more a job for the man in the house??

129 replies

twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 02/04/2015 22:42

Happy to be told I am so in the dark ages...honestly I value all your opinions but just need to get some perspective on this. Tonight DD 18 (young niave thing...well i think..but thats not the issue) is going out tonight and needs to be taken to her friends house very last minute thing..she was meant to be getting picked up from here but last minute probs meant we had to take her there... its only 3 mins in the car but walking is through a dark alley....yikes.... scooby doo neck holding stuff... its just not a nice little cut to take but has to be done on foot to friends house...takes bout 15 mins there and the same ( necking holding alley on the way back) I hate it and would never ever ever allow her to walk the 50 yds or so of "terror". Anyway ...tonight...previous to this.... both hubby and I where out at clubs with our other kids at different venues, and he kicked off about having to go out with DD again ( he wanted a beer) I had been home half an hour before him had opened wine and had bout half a glass at this stage....obviously I cd not drive her...He wd "not" drive her so I had to do the walk of terror.... he thought this was ok. I had to be all brave with DD on the way there and was absolutely "cacking" myself on the journey back.. Im home now and in a state of shock of what I had to do.. do I need to just like wise up and grow a pair or is hubby not being very fair.. Sorry for rambling post but I'm just peeved at the minute.

Making tea and crackers now..ummmm xx

OP posts:
bumdiedum · 03/04/2015 00:19

Does he agree that the route is too dangerous for her to go on her own? i.e does he accept that if he doesn't go then you will have to, or does he think she can either walk herself or not go?

Original poster
twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 03/04/2015 00:23

Bumdiedum he was in beer n computer mode n cd see nothing else in my eyes. I believe he would agree its not really a route any of us ladies should be taking, which why I posted the q.

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 03/04/2015 00:29

Places aren't scary. Seriously they aren't. They may be dark, damp, isolated, whatever, but in themselves they aren't scary.

I left home at the age of 17. No one walked me back and forth down the scary alleys.

bumdiedum · 03/04/2015 00:29

If he doesn't think it's safe, yup, I'd go for he should've done it. He's probs not going to get mugged in the car.
Blessed, maybe that's because the young males don't have their mums with them!

GraysAnalogy · 03/04/2015 00:31

50 yards Confused

Walk of terror Confused

Mans job Confused

Lydiand · 03/04/2015 00:36

Fear isn't always logical.

Original poster
twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 03/04/2015 00:37

Graysyou only got one button? Smile...well here is my fav one button, cos its useless for you to know also Brew ...and another cos i just could not resist Grin

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 03/04/2015 00:39

I also have this one Easter Confused

Wink
Original poster
twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 03/04/2015 00:40
Easter Grin
OP posts:
Lweji · 03/04/2015 00:43

In future it might be a good idea to hold off the wine until you are sure nobody needs to be driven around.

Is he the one who always drives her? Do you ever do it?

pieceofpurplesky · 03/04/2015 00:49

I am with you OP and even though he is now ex my H would never have expected me to walk through the streets at night alone. He should have walked your dd and I would be Hmm that he didn't

BIWI · 03/04/2015 00:53

Yes, you are wrong for thinking this is a job for the man of the house!

Your DD doesn't have to walk down an alley. She can walk along the road, the road that you would take if you drive her.

Stop being so unnecessarily gothic about the whole thing.

Original poster
twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 03/04/2015 00:53

Its never really an issue who drives the kids to places. Its a job that needs doing and someone does it, not sure if its shared equally or not but its either do a run or sort out suppers, baths etc...not an issue. Tonight was obviously an issue as hubby felt he was on holiday and I wasnt..he works full time I dont...thats how it could seem..not sure.

OP posts:
dizzyday07 · 03/04/2015 00:53

How is she getting home?

Original poster
twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 03/04/2015 00:55

Taxi

OP posts:
Original poster
twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 03/04/2015 00:55

Already booked days ago

OP posts:
GettingEggyWithIt · 03/04/2015 00:55

You are not wrong.
Irrespective of the rape myths that prevail, I would not want my daughter or son for that matter going down a dark alley in a rough area on their own. I would rather my husband who used to be a bouncer and has a skinhead and bulk even though he's a pussycat go with them. Or they walk in a group, in lit areas, taking the long way round there and sharing an official cab back. Sorry you had a crap time walking back.Brew

26Point2Miles · 03/04/2015 00:56

Job for 'man of the house'?? You sound stuck in the 1950's

Original poster
twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye · 03/04/2015 00:58

Thankyou Getting Grin

Thanks for pointing that out 26, just took me pinny of there so maybe I am Grin love helpful posts.

OP posts:
JuliaDream · 03/04/2015 01:03

Why couldn't she have walked the long way round?

26Point2Miles · 03/04/2015 01:04

Why do posts have to be 'helpful' when the task in hand is already done?

How on earth do lone parents cope without a 'man of the house' I don't know! You might end up as one yourself soon, your 'DH' doesn't seem to like you all very much! What would you do then?

Gralick · 03/04/2015 01:21

OK, this is not a 'helpful' reply. My gast is fully flabbered at your melodramatic wussiness! I understand that some people have deep irrational fears. And I think this sounds like one. Either that, or you need another cuppa.

The only honest advice I could offer you in good spirit would be to seek ways of overcoming this - not to make your husband perform unnecessary chauffeur duties.

Or perhaps you should hire a bodyguard for your daughter Wink

Cabrinha · 03/04/2015 01:40

You're being quite rude with your "helpful posts" comments.

26 made a valid comment. Your attitude about "man's jobs" belong in the 50s.

To a straight "I'd been drinking, should he have driven her?" I'd say - yes, if the only option was one of you two to drive her, it should have been him.

But it isn't a "man's job".

Why didn't she walk the longer way round? Or you on your way back - why didn't you?

textfan · 03/04/2015 01:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 03/04/2015 01:57

If you were OK walking back on your own then she would have been OK walking there on her own. Also at 18 she should be making the decision on her own not being prevented from doing something by her mother because of her mother's fears. Plus if it was a 3 minute car drive on the road compared to a 15 minute walk down the dark alley, then surely the more sensible option (given the scary alley) would have been to walk down the road - it doesn't sound like a very good short cut!