The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Shaking Off The Winter Blues And Getting Out Our Booze Free Summer Shoes!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. It's a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers, occasional slurpers, sneaky sippers, we're all a very different bunch but we ALL have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

We all have a story or two to tell, we have all been through some terrible times, some more than others and we all have our reasons for drinking or even not.

The one true wonderful thing about this Bus is that we don't do judging!! We're all on a even playing field, no matter what has brought us to this thread.

So, if you'd like to talk, then talk. If you want to lurk and see how we work for a while, that's cool too :)

The Bus is never full, there's always is room for YOU.

And, if you'd like to see what started this off, amost good 5 years ago now, have a look at A TRULY AWESOME HEARTFELT THEAD HERE

And our last thread is just here too for those who would like some more history THIS IS WHERE WE'VE JUST BEEN

Hope to see you soon :) xxx

Andy sending hugs xx. I hope it goes ok with DD. Would it help if you explained to DH exactly how you feel, that you really need his support and him not talking to you isn't helping? It's 10.30 a.m and despite saying I won't be drinking today I'm already thinking about it. How can I get through cooking Sunday dinner without a glass of wine or two (or 10 )? Hope everything goes ok for you today xx

Hi Andy. Welcome aboard and happy birthday from the bus babes. I hope your family come round soon and cut you some slack on your big day. I don't know what you did, but am sure I have done the same or worse, we are all in the same boat here (or on the same bus) and we don't do judging, whether you want to share or not, we are all here for you.

I'm glad you have joined us and am sending big hugs and .

Drink lots of water, eat something sweet and try to get some rest. I hope it goes OK with dd. Keep posting, we are all here, sending you silent support.

Joey - bad luck on the job front. Perhaps you can agree to it in principle but try to get some compromises?

Keeping this quite short as have to go out to take ds to a race in a bit and then go to craft fayre. Desperately trying to get some work done for Tuesday AM deadline (and am out all day tomorrow) but it's proving harder than I thought

Also no idea what to charge. NUJ rates quite steep by local standards. Any freelance babes there who know what acceptable day rates are for copywriting??? Cheers xxx

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Happy birthday Andy, sorry to hear about your DH giving you such a hard time, and tearing up your bank card, that's pretty poor behaviour. Now you've got to order a new one, but I guess that was his intention, to make it a pain for you and maybe 'teach you a lesson'?

I hope things are calmer today and DD helps when she arrives. Were you out with friends or at home? Either way, I agree with Hands re needing support and understanding from your husband. You say you've been here before and lurked too. I hope you stay this time, as the ever so wise and wonderful Hope said, we're all in the same boat, or on the same Bus!!

Hands - Sunday lunch is always a tough one..... Especially when you are in the kitchen alone just pottering about prepping dinner. My DH does the cooking here, mainly because if I cook it, I then don't fancy eating and of course doing a Sunday dinner with a broken wrist is a nightmare!

Pop the radio and have a tall glass with a soft drink in it with some ice maybe, so you've got something to sip on as you're cooking? Distraction is a massive help to me. And, if you do end up opening a bottle of wine, see if you can set yourself a target or time limit?

For example, if you're going to drink, open the bottle as you serve dinner and until then, soft drinks only. Or if you start when cooking, use a smaller glass than normal and have some soft drinks in between an alcoholic one. Otherwise you'll be on bottle two by 7pm.

It's still early days and finding what works for you is going to be hard. Life is pretty shit when you're trying not to drink, it seems everyone everywhere is drinking in front of you to spite you but it's the same as all things in life.

When we were trying for a baby, THE ENTIRE WORLD WAS PREGNANT! It's in your face 24/7.

You will get there, keep posting, talk to friends you trust, talk to whoever makes you feel it's okay to 'say it out loud'.

There's help out there, AA, community alcohol support groups, your GP etc, but only YOU can reach your goal. No-one can do it for you but we're here for you and all support one another. Keep posting, even if you think it's daft, you can bet your bottom we've all done it, thought it or said it before at some point! Be brave, you are in control of what you do. :)

Right, resting time. I'll be back later or tomorrow to set up a shiny new thread. xxx

Joey - That's really crap news to hear about your job and the hours etc. It's totally out of order, but if its in your signed contract, then the bastards have got you :( Keep posting sweetie and rant here!! That's another great feature of the Bus, if there is no one around, you can just rant loud and proud until one of us is here! xxx

Sooo joey when was the last time you reviewed your CV? Even if you have to do the extra hours,it wouldn't hurt to dust down your cv and recall that there are other places to work / exciting courses to do / career changes etc. Then you can just smirk at Boss.

Andy It happens and we've all been there. Some of us have caused chaos several times over. Most of the time we haven't done much other than be a bit loud and silly,so try not to be too hard on yourself. On the other hand if things have really gone pear shaped,perhaps if you tried to drunk drive for instance,than consider looking for professional help- counselling,a women only addiction retreat. I went to AA for quite a while and it changed my massively ingrained attiudes to drinking- it's still my choice and my journey and sometimes I fail badly but physically getting to meetings was the way I broke the habit.

In an odd way,having a horrible experience with booze and seeing the effect it has on loved ones can be the trigger to force change. Good luck

Back from a day in rainy Glasgow, but the sevens was a lot of fun. Free food and booze too. 3 guesses whether or not I stood strong.
Day 1 again tomorrow.
andy did he cut up your card to stop you buying more booze?

Thanks Mouse xx I forced myself to go to zumba this morning. Don't know whether it was a great idea as I was so hungover I nearly threw up . We have no wine in the house and I was determined not to go out and buy any. However at 5ish I was really desperate for a drink so poured myself a whiskey and coke (can't bloody stand whiskey). Had 2 sips before thinking "what the hell are you doing?" so poured it down the sink and have just drank coke for the rest of the evening. I don't know whether that actually counts as an AF day but I'm still feeling a bit proud of myself! Any babes out there who are AF, how many days has it been for you and does it get easier?

Andy how did today go?

Have a good evening ladies xx

hands that certainly counts. Well done

Evening all! One AF week done, and not too hard actually. Do you find that every time you try - even if you don't succeed - it gets easier? Practice makes perfect, maybe. (hope I don't end up regretting saying that if I fall down badly...)

guggs well, honestly I'm pretty lazy and not very ambitious - I don't really want to get a different job. And lately, my health hasn't been brilliant so this is perfect for me. But you're right, I could shake myself up a bit - get out of this rut - take up the various training opportunities which are being offered.

After all, I can't get another job until I've worked a bit harder at this one.

The only problem is I can't leave the dog alone all day... Need to think about that a bit...

Hands well done, I can never pour drink away. That definitely counts, and maybe even an extra smug point.

Joey do they have dogsitters where you live? My friend has a dalmation which is a recipient of regular dog walking services - though it might be pricey. Hope you work something out

Wankbadger is driving me mental this evening - sits and snores in front of the TV when we are watching it and then gets snappy and grumpy with us all when he wants to watch the football and shouts at the kids to go to bed. I hate him, he's a total twunt. BUT not had a drink today so that's me and you on a whole AF week Joey YAY!!!

Also ds won his race today and got a new PB and dd sold lots of her crafts at the fayre and made some money for herself

Right, off upstairs now to carry on freelance writing project in bed (and get away from sodding Match of the Day)

Luffs to you all xxx

Hands That definitely counts, well done! I just typed a huge post and lost it but just wanted to say thank you for being so welcoming and for your support, you're all so lovely. I've made it through day 1 for about the 100th time. I can't undo yesterday but I'm determined to use it as a catalyst for change. See you tomorrow and thanks again x

Hands - it's different for us all really, but for me I was very much a 'dry/drinker/dry/drinker' kinda Bus Babe

In short - It took one night of very drunken fuck uppery to slap me around the head that scared the living hell out of me. I'd had the day from hell, drank heavily, and gone to bed. Our son has Severe Additional Needs and has done since birth.... I think we're up to 13/14 various diagnosis.

Anyway, Nemo (the bus has adopted him so he has lots of 'Aunts' on board :) ) woke up, DH had sent me to bed pissed some time before after I'd spilt my drink all over myself. I went to pick him up from his cot which was in our room due to his needs and DH took him off me, I was staggering about the place, he was only young but I was so pissed I thought I was ok....

I went mad at DH..... Nemo was reaching for me and wanted me to console him.... I was in no fit state. DH told me to go and sleep in Nemo's bedroom, so I did. DH took him for the night.

That was my 'lightbulb' moment.

Never. Ever. Again.

I've been 'sober' since then, I'd be able to find the thread where I posted about what happened..... but anyway. I'm a social drinker these days, which is rare, or on special occasions such as our gorgeous boy reaches another birthday!

So, for me, personally, it was a few years back that I decided putting my son's life at risk was NOT worth getting pissed for. Or even tipsy for and the less I drank, the less I wanted.

In fact now, it's very rare that when I do drink, I get past one or two glasses of wine.

I'm going to make my profile public and put some pics of him on there. It's been ages since his bus 'Aunts' have seen him :) xxx

Oh and Hands - well done on pouring the drink away!!

And now I'm off to bed.

Oh, and sorry about the mix up Ma!! And congrats khalisi on the SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morning lovely Babes

Day 42 I have never come this far and one of my besties stayed for the weekend and drank on both Friday & Saturday (one bottle on each of the nights to herself, it would normally be at least one each) AND I was fine In fact we had a lovely weekend and I was clear headed with no hangy and it felt brilliant!!!! Had our May Fayre at work to organise on Saturday and we raised £350 for our Residents Fund - so all in all a success. Can you see my halo??

Sorry not meaning to blow my own trumpet but I am equally shocked and pleased that I've managed to get this far. If it wasn't for this lovely bus none of this success could have happened. Your support has been phenomenal

Welcome Andy stick with us, you'll get loads of lovely support on here x

Hands well done for pouring the drink away. It does get easier, I promise. the first 7 days are my worst, once you get passed then. the cravings get easier. I have to keep saying 'this moment will pass' and it does. Keep going Babe it's so worth it.

Sorry not going to NC you all, I've just seen the time and DD1 has philosophy GCSE and DD2 has her first SAT today - it's exam city in this household

Loads of love and hugs to you all

Morning all. Just checking in. mouse so lovely to see you and belated happy birthday to Nemo.

Spanna - that's just awesome, hugely well done you. Another sober milestone, the weekend with drinking friend. Go you!

Morning, Babes,

Happy belated to Nemo! And a huge to you mäuschen, for being a fantastic mama!

Welcome, Andy and happy belated, babes. How are you today?
I so hear you on being good in so many things but having this weakness. For me Gerald has been absolutely wonderful because although I have not managed a complete AF run yet, I am already drinking much less than I used to.
Post whenever you can, babe.
and god, do I know that disappointed dd look when they talk to you like they are the adults and you a petulant, drunk teenager

Life is a crooked nosed cow, sometimes. On Saturday, right after my happy post, I skyped with dd1. She is having one of her fucking epic meltdowns and it drained me so completely that for the first time I had a glass of wine before noon. Of course one was not enough and I got quite drunk tipsy. Managed to pull myself together and worked in the garden for a few hours, which gave me the feeling of just a little more control.
New fella was absolutely lovely. He came over and I told him I'm drunk and feel really sorry for myself. He just held me until I calmed down and then took a nap while I was gardening.
To make up for my binge, I ran my first 15kms yesterday. It was ok. 1.30 which I think is not bad with a hangover.

Today I will not be drinking.

Well done, spanna! OMG. You're doing so very well, my love! [flower]

Have a good one, Babes!

I really need some help but I don't even know where to start, could you all please help me?

Hi TurnOver I'm very new to this but happy to listen. I joined the bus yesterday in desperation. I promise that nothing you say will shock me x

I don't even know what I want. I feel hungover and paranoid and I've just put 6 empty wine bottles outside. My poor kids :-(

How old are your kids? Are they at home or at school? How was the weekend?

Two at school and one at nursery. Weekend was rubbish, woke up feeling crap but still cracked open my first bottle by 5pm. Last Tuesday was awful. Fell asleep with my youngest on the sofa at 9pm and woke up at midnight and she was asleep on the floor. I must have knocked her off.

Can you drink some water and try to eat something? Just focus on getting to the end of school/ nursery day. Do you have a partner? Sorry I feel like I'm interrogating you. But I'm around if you want to talk. I've been there and got the T shirt. I sneaked 2 empty gin bottles into a bin this morning after I dropped DS2 off at school. Nobody here is going to judge.

I've had breakfast and plenty of water. My partner works away during the week, so it's a bit easier to hide. He found an empty wine bottle in my underwear drawer last week, and about ten bottles that id hidden in the back of the cupboard. I made up some lame excuse and he didn't say anything.

Oh, Turn. Welcome, babes.
Really, all of us on this bus have the t-shirts. No one will judge. Ever. And that is the best thing.
As Andy said, try and stick to water today? Eat something salty, I find that helps me best.
If you're passing the shops, get your favourite AF drinks. I've discovered ginger ale. (Sweet kept going on about her teas the whole Winter so now I've given in and got a selection).
Otherwise, just post. I'll also keep an eye on the bus if you need to talk.
Big hug.

I can relate to that. I've been reading some of the sober blogs that have been recommended on here - one of the bloggers wrote a list of the things she loves about being sober and one of them was not having to worry about her DH finding bottles that she'd hidden. What time do you have to collect DCs?