A thread to say something you can't in real life!

[Sodthisagain]

To my not so dear sister
Fuck off to the far side of fuck then fuck off some more! I am not the scheming, money swindling bitch you have insinuated I am today and will no longer going to be your doormat to shout at when you are stressed!!
Oh and don't forget fuck off!

There that's better :-)

Dear x,
I hate you. I hate the fact that you are lazy. I hate that you are so bitchy. I hate that you put yourself, first and foremost every single time. Your breath smells, and you should clean the toilets after you've left massive shit stains in there.

Oh and I suspect you think you are superior to me. Hahahahaha

I have never been loved. To all the people who have hit me and abused me in unspeakable ways, you never loved me no matter what you said. It's because of you that I will never have a loving relationship.

Another one for SIL-your new hair cut is disgusting

Lucy90 I hope you aren't my SIL as I had a new hair style today

Ex H- you're getting married again soon , some other poor woman will have to look after you and listen to you when you bang on about your hobbies , hobbies that enabled you to spend lots of money on tat and hobbies that were changed frequently whilst I had to go to second hand shops to clothe our children , we had money problems and for that reason I ended up doing a job I despised whilst you decided that you couldn't work as you were stressed ! I used to beg you to get a job but all you would say was "I can't find one , it's difficult " but still the hobbies continued , every day a little more resentment set in until that was it!!! I'm glad I left you , I'm glad I worked very very hard and completely changed my career and now do a job I love , you said when I left I could never sleep alone ,and I wouldn't manage well I did !!
Good luck wife number 3 , keep a close eye on those hobbies and an eye on your money as I lost thousands .
To my DP you are the most amazing man , kind and thoughtful and funny .
You along with my children are my utter world , I've told you my secrets and why I left ex h , I know it was difficult for you to understand but you stood by me and for that reason I truly love you .

Colleague - you think it's such a secret but when you conduct your carefully staggered departures at lunch and after work everyone is laughing at the seediness. When he goes away on business and you are off we know you have convinced yourself you are starcrossed lovers snatching illicit moments together. The truth is he is shagging you in a cheap work funded hotel because he can. He won't be leaving his high earning wife soon, not because he loves and respects her, the mother of his children but because he likes money and she affords him a very very nice lifestyle. You are a side fuck, are you really so delusional that you think he doesn't talk about you to the other men? He is not involved with you because he loves you so much that he risks everything, he is involved because you are an easy gullible fuck yet you are 40 so wise up for your own sake. No-one is going to be there for you when he bores of you and the signs are there. Claw back some self respect and end it, you are the one that will be most destroyed by this.

I had slept with my housemate and her boyfriend last month. Complicated situation on her side. Feel bad for not being able to be cool about it but I would love a no strings repeat with just her. Keep telling myself to put her out of my mind, forbid myself to think of it as me liking her, I feel 15 y.o......she is absolutely stunning, anyone would be attracted to her, etc. ooh well one to chalk up I guess. in future, don't sleep with beautiful housemate, noted.

to my husband's colleagues

my husband is being 'friendly' not flirting.
please fuck of and stop acting like bunny boilers.
He is mine after all and has no interest AT all.

Dear 6 or 7 Gp's at my Dmums Doctors surgery.
I hope you're all proud of yourselves and feel guilty now you all know what you repeatedly missed.
No, it wasn't just the menopause and because your age ranges and experience as Gp's is vast I'm going to assume that this is not because lack of training or never seeing real life symptoms before.
How many times did you want her to appear before you getting more and more ill before someone realised something was seriously and life threateningly wrong and done what they needed to - HOW MANY?
My poor dmum has worked all of her life, paying into the NHS and she was denied access to a brain scan, probably to save money, when people are sent to Hospital for far less - It makes me fucking sick!
We still don't know what mum's diagnosis is yet, they're still testing to see if the tumour, that was the size of a satsuma btw, is cancerous or not but I do hope that the next time she visits you with her half bald head and the huge scar that runs from her ear up over the top of her head - that you can look her in the eyes and explain to her HOW THE FUCK YOU ALL GOT IT SO WRONG!

To dp.

I love you. I truly do

But you need to step up at weekends and actually be useful. You being home should lessen my workload of the full house, all cooking and cleaning, 24/7 childcare to a 2 year old and 6 month old neither who sleep through, both who are breast fed.

I countdown the nights until you come back and it makes me furious that the extra two hours I get sleep on a Saturday result in you and the children trashing the house

I manage them both all week alone. I get by on a handful of sleep. I get two hours off and you can't even manage to move the breakfast pots or get them washed and dressed.

I am so grateful that you work hard to provide for us and I try to do everything so you don't need to but you get every night in your luxury flat to relax and sleep or do hobbies. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm so exhausted. You pick my parenting to bits when my two year old inevitably winds me up to the point of me getting cross.

I just wish you would notice I'm drowning here, show me you love me and help me with the children you were so keen to make.

Parenting is more than fun times.

To my mum,

I'm not 12 years old.

Please stop passing any comment on my new house.

Please stop telling me that my kitchen can't come straight off my dining room. It does, I live here. It might not make sense to you and you might not be able to picture it but I promise it does. Stop being and about this.

Please also stop assuming I'm being fleeced by various tradespeople. I'll be the judge of whether a quote is too high or whether a builder is taking liberties and I'll deal with it accordingly. You've never even seen my house and you have no idea what I want doing so scoffing every time I tell you what a tradesman has said is completely irrelevant, unfounded and fucking annoying.

Please also stop putting on your fucking serious, panicky voice whenever I tell you that I've spent anything over £200 on anything for my house and saying 'Oh God, can you afford it?'. I'm not secretive with you about money and you know how much I earn, how much I save and how much I have spare each month. You know I only buy what I can afford and never have anything on tick. So, why the fuck do you always ask?

Since I'm your only child I don't tell you to fuck off and, to be honest, I don't think it'd make much difference anyway.

Just please shut the fuck up about my new house and let me enjoy it before you start passing comments and giving me your opinions.

Thanks,
Day x

MUMSNET IS FULL OF WEIRDOS.

Thank you. (not aimed at anyone here...have not RTFT) I am venting from another thread.

That's not exactly in the spirit of the thread Psipsina

Next time RTFT and please don't shout.

To the man I see at swimming every morning,

Please stop wearing those speedos. They are too tight and a little bit of ballbag pokes out of one of the leg holes. I know you know this because you adjust yourself before you get out of the pool. But I swim underwater so I see it all anyway. Please just get different trunks or just a bigger size.

Also, why do you shave your ballbag when you have a really hairy chest? In my head you're some kind of fetish internet web-cam porn guy and the shaved ballbag makes your dick look bigger which is what your clients want. But you look more like an accountant and it'd be a pretty weird fetish anyway given you're not very good looking at all so I guess that's not true. So why do you shave your ballbag?

I wish I didn't know you shaved your ballbag but I do and I can't unknow it.

Day x

Yikes. Sorry. I assumed it was a free for all.

Why is it not in the spirit of the thread?

No! It's 216 posts long. I've read the OP which is FILLED with swear words and I have no idea why you are telling me off.

To my husband

I'm tired wasting my breath and arguing with you over having a cleaner. This petulance and huffiness have been going on for 5 years. We need the help - get over it. You are frequently abroad and don't do anything like your share of housework, however much you think ironing 5 work shirts once a week equates with doing your fair share.

We both work full time in the City and work mad hours and have two kids under 5 who are desperate to spend time with us. I do almost everything. In the house. We both earn 6 figures and you are a mean, tight fisted, nasty little git and putting your whole marriage at risk over spending £50 a week. Stop being a fucking martyr and insisting on cleaning the loo when your kids are looking for breakfast in order to prove I am a princess.

Dear partner,
I found a ring hidden in your drawer and I'm pretending not to have seen it because it looks like a certain type of ring. Find a better hiding place.

Dear mum,
You seem not to notice that you're driving us all away and that history seems to be repeating itself.

This is so weird. The OP says 'in real life' not about real life.

I can't shout this IRL as it will disturb those around me.

I do not understand how I have broken the rules. There are other shouting posts; you have not objected to them.

I'm sorry that I have pissed you off but as I haven't time to RTFT perhaps you could let me know what I have done wrong, as I don't like to offend, but I am really totally mystified.

Indeed. That is just how I feel.

I do not want an argument. I am sorry if you feel I have caused one. It was never my intention.

Dear sister -

Yes, I agree that we all should have some savings "for a rainy day". I used to have savings myself, until they were all swallowed up by problems with the house that you sold to me. You say that I'll "get it all back when I sell". I really won't. The house was on the market for two years and is in such a bad condition that we've been advised that we could only sell it as a site.

Also, I'd suggest that one example of a "rainy day" is when your car stops working and needs to be replaced. As you've told me how much you have in savings, I know you have enough to buy several cars. But you say you don't want to spend the savings and will just manage without one. Fair enough - I'd say that was your choice, if it didn't have any effect on me. But it does. I now have to drive our elderly mother everywhere, when we used to share that job. Drive out to her when she needs help at short notice, because you have no car. And now you're asking me to drive you around as well. Whilst, on our last trip, you were happily talking about the savings that you have.

If I was bitter and twisted, I'd suspect that you've done this to get out of helping Mum.

Elsabelle - lots of sad posts on here but yours really moved me.