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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Plz someone help

326 replies

mariam101 · 17/03/2015 11:26

I have been in a relationship with my partner for about 7/8 years now and have 4 kids. Before I fell pregnant with my first child I noticed he had a temper but it was always with the neighbours, never with me. After I fell pregnant with my first child he changed and was very abusive both physically and emotionally. About 3 years into the relationship things had gotten really bad I was pregnant with 3rd child and had decided to leave the relationship and take my children with me I went through all the right ways to go about these issues and got all the help I needed and didn't see or speak to him for about 7 months after that we decided to start talking for the sake of the kids and after a couple of weeks we he had convinced me had changed and he was saying how sorry he was n that he was really ashamed of himself so we dicided to give it another go. He was good for about 3 months then he went back to being his normal self really abusive not physical but emotionally verbally and financially but it had got really bad (worse than before) now I have 4 children and things have reached breaking point I have tried to leave on a number of occasions with the kids but he would threaten me about having kid took off me he has put me down in myself and about being a mom makes me think I can't do things on my own n that if I not with him I won't succeed in anything in life. I have even tried to leave on my own by leaving the kids in his care ( I know that I shouldn't but he threatens to come after me and hurt me if I take children again) so for the kids sake I was going to leave them but he wouldn't let me go he was making false promises and saying it wasn't his fault he doesn't mean it and then he put it all on me saying it was my fault. I'm very stuck as to what I should do I want to leave but I am too scared to go the right way about it incase of being rejected because I did it last time n then went bk. I just don't know what to do I now I need to get myself and the kids away but I not sure how plz has anyone got any advice for me and what I should do.

OP posts:
whatsagoodusername · 20/03/2015 08:23

Good luck today. We are all cheering for you.

Ledkr · 20/03/2015 08:37

Really good luck to you. Stay focused on what you have to do.

The hard bit is already over and that was living with this man.

You did that so you can do this.

MissMuesli · 20/03/2015 08:53

I hope everything has gone well today, thinking of you x Flowers

Original poster
mariam101 · 20/03/2015 09:07

Iv done it I at the school but now I mre scared now mre than eva

OP posts:
ShadyMyLady · 20/03/2015 09:12

Good luck today mariam. I'll be thinking of you. This is the first day of the rest of your life Flowers

Lemonylemon · 20/03/2015 09:12

You can do this..... {HUG}

ShadyMyLady · 20/03/2015 09:13

X post.

You bloody awesome woman. We're all here behind you.

sakura · 20/03/2015 09:13

Well done! You've done it and sneaked out. I'm praying that you get a place of refuge for tonight.

CunningCat · 20/03/2015 09:22

If the authorities do not help this lady escape this situation I am going to see my (Tory) MP and kick him in the balls!

Original poster
mariam101 · 20/03/2015 09:26

Well so far school aren't helping much they having even bought my kids to me

OP posts:
TheMShip · 20/03/2015 09:30

tell the school to call police and children's services.

crazyauntie · 20/03/2015 09:31

You can do this! Demand the school to phone the police!

rubyshoes3 · 20/03/2015 09:32

Please do not leave the school make them phone the police.

Original poster
mariam101 · 20/03/2015 09:32

I trying they said they won't give kids to me until I know where I going which is fare enough but o will feel a tiny bit better knowing they r hea with me

OP posts:
RattieofCatan · 20/03/2015 09:37

Miriam I have no clue what you're going through, but just wanted to say that there is another person to hold your hand. Please keep pushing for them to call the police, they cannot let the children go home with him at the end of the school day.

Do not leave and insist that they call the police, see if you can get hold of the refuges whilst there as well.

Phoenixashes · 20/03/2015 09:38

Have you called woman's aid, refuges? Call the police yourself. Whatever you do stay put.

crazyauntie · 20/03/2015 09:38

That's understandable. But they should be phoning the police for you.

rubyshoes3 · 20/03/2015 09:39

There must be a designated child protection person in school ask to speak to them as this is a child protection issue and school can not turn you away.

AradiaQueenWitch · 20/03/2015 09:46

Just adding my support, well done Mariam! You can do this, insist on your kids coming to you, they are YOUR kids and you are all in danger. I hope the police are there now. Rooting for you and sending you all my strength.

CunningCat · 20/03/2015 09:47

Oh mariam I wish I was with you. If you have to ring children's services and ask for child protection team. Someone needs to assess your situation and take you to a place of safety.

Quitelikely · 20/03/2015 09:53

Well done Miriam.

Ring the refuge. Ring them.

You will get away from him.

You can do it.

Flowers
Original poster
mariam101 · 20/03/2015 10:01

I had to call the police myself as the school were like what do I want us to do about it I'm in tears and iv said help I want help

OP posts:
Charley50 · 20/03/2015 10:04

Well done Mariam. This is real. Your 'life' with this abuser has been horrendous. You are taking action to get you and your kids out now. The police have to help. Also contact the other agencies people have mentioned. Don't take no help for an answer. You will not be going back to you and your children being prisoners anymore.

crazyauntie · 20/03/2015 10:06

Well done!! You're nearly there! You can still do this!!

MarthasHarbour · 20/03/2015 10:07

Do not leave the school until you have your kids and the poloce are there. Call womens aid from the school x