Any other 44 year-old virgins out there ?

[vienna1981]

I'm one (male) . How does it feel ? It's something I think about every day, like a rite of passage from youth that simply passed me by.

vienna we are not talking about letting the computer software do the personality matching for you! It just matches the basics, like age range, geographical location, gay or straight, that kind of thing.

You write a profile, post it, put in some basic parameters specifying the type of people you'd like to meet (these can be as wide or as exacting as you prefer but as I said it only covers things like age, location, etc) and then anyone who falls into that category will get your profile returned in their own search results and visa-versa. It's entirely up to you whether you like the sound of them or not, and it's up to you to read through their profiles and decide whether you might have anything in common or not. The internet fairies don't do that bit for you.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Give it a go.

Close friend met her fiance online. They are amazingly well suited (both late 40s) and really happy together. It really is worth a go.

I was in a similar position to you. Male, 33, never had much of a relationship, never mind sex. I've always been quiet, shy, not many friends. Male dominated job.
I decided one day to do something about it. I joined a choir which was mainly female dominated, went out a lot more with people from work, specifically tried talking with females on a purely friends basis. I also joined Plenty of Fish. I went on LOTS of dates - it was nerve-wracking, and I got rejected a lot! A couple of dates ended because of my insecurities, but I managed to get over this, and with every date I got better and better.
I finally found someone I clicked with which would never have happened without the dating website. I'm now in a fantastic relationship, and have lots of sex! It is possible, you just need to have the willpower to do it.

I know how you feel OP. I'm 33 and in the same boat. It's horrible and you end up feeling weird. The truth is, there are many people it's just not that easy for.

"females"???!!!

Does your girlfriend know you think of her as the socket end of a connector?

You may sound lovely, but you will also sound incredibly dull to any woman who is looking for a life partner. Imagine you do meet a woman and all you manage to get out of her in a conversation is: "I don't have any hobbies. I watch no TV. I don't have a computer. I don't have any friends."

Would you feel attracted to this person?

Well, this is how anyone else will view you.

As other users have said, you need to change yourself if you want the rest of your life to change. I disagree with all that "you should not need to change, just be yourself..." bullshit. Being "yourself" has not made you happy so far, and will not make you happy in the future. I was miserable in my teens and I had to make a massive change in my life in order to make friends and become the much happier person I am now. And know what? I had to change myself. Because sometimes you are stuck in a version of "yourself" that, frankly, is a bit crap. I had no friends, I spent most of my time stuck at home playing computer games and hating everybody else. Who the hell was going to find me interesting and wanting to be my friend, when I was a resentful, miserable person? At one point I had to admit that it was not the rest of the World's fault... in fact, I had much to do with my own loneliness. And in the process of "changing myself", I was very pleasantly surprised that I became a much more empathetic, tolerant and patient person, and I learned to appreciate how fortunate I am just for having the choice of changing.

The "new" person I became is still myself... but much better. My life is far more interesting and exciting, and I have made life-long friends and found a life partner I married. All I have achieved in my life at 38 years of age would not have happened if I had not made the conscious effort to change the life I was living. I have jumped off a plane, and jumped off a cliff, and done scuba-diving, I have travelled, have friends from many different cultures and studied 2 different careers. I have loved every minute of it!

Please, move your arse and DO change. It is never too late. If you're not happy the way you are now, try another way. The way we are is not pre-determined. We CAN change ourselves and become better.

(added) If you managed to read my whole post, you may be thinking: "and what the hell does all of this to do with getting laid?". Well, make yourself into an interesting person, and you will find that some women will start to find you interesting :). Boredom is the number one killer of passion.

aurynne. What positive changes did you make ?

The changes I made as only relevant to my personal situation, which was very different from yours. I was not bothered about sex, I just wanted to have friends and be a "normal person". In hindsight, I think I have undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome. But speaking in general, I had to force myself to listen, even sometimes when I found what people said uninteresting, to smile, to look at people in the eye, to make an effort to put myself out at social situations, and especially to believe people were not always "against me" and thinking the worst of what I did or said. One thing that helped me enormously was to consciously choose to believe that, when someone said something potentially hurtful or offensive to me, they actually did not mean it, or I had misinterpreted it, or they were having a really bad day. That little change in attitude made me much happier.

What a fantastic post, aurynne. I imagine it is relevant to people on this thread, in so far as your perception that folks were deliberately trying to upset you equates to a perception that sexual relationships are being withheld. Feeling like you can't find a partner can put potential partners off, leading to the truism that it's easier to pull when you're already in a relationship!