I'm not sure what sort of "constructive" criticism you were hoping to find here. There has already been a lot of constructive criticism given which boils down to sort your marriage out one way or the other. No-one has actually said you can't have this man if that is what you really want, but people have said that it is extremely selfish to have him in your current circumstances (i.e. while both of you live a lie).
There have been many past threads where people have posted about the temptation of an affair and while I won't embarrass the OP by naming her, at least one person in that situation was able to pull herself back from the brink by talking through, step by step, what it might be within her marriage, and within herself, which was making her teeter that way. That person not only readily admitted that to go the whole hog could have caused very hurtful repercussions for several others, but was adult enough to seek advice and actually be prepared to listen to it. She challenged some of the things which were said, which is inevitable (we are all individuals and have different standards) but the driving force behind her posting here was to try and understand the situation she was in, and a genuine desire not to hurt innocent 3rd parties. She was more or less saying "I am tremendously tempted, I am experiencing very strong feelings, I know it would be wrong, please MN, talk this through with me and sort my head out, help me cope with these feelings".
But you seem very different.
So far, I have not seen you express any specific concern for the innocent 3rd parties here, apart from vague "I know it's wrong" remarks. As I said before, if someone knows something is wrong, yet goes ahead and does it anyway, then they are being incredibly selfish. I think there is a huge moral difference between doing something potentially hurtful out of ignorance (not appreciating the action could cause hurt) and doing it knowing damn well that the fallout could be enormous, but not caring enough (if, arguably, at all) to stop.
I am sure that if you sought specific advice, about either sorting out what's lacking in your life & marriage (to cause you to have an affair), and/or tactics for coping with temptation, there would be a plethora of well meaning advice sent your way.
However, you seem to be here only to seek approval for what you are doing - you haven't even said you want to stop. Neither have you mentioned any dissatisfaction at home - in fact you say you have no intention of leaving your husband. And then you seem to imply that you can't help yourselves because you will always be in each other's lives. In those circumstances, the only advice which you might regard as "constructive" would surely be a list of ideas to help you both find more "opportunities" to be "together" (i.e. cheat on your partners) and maybe 10 top tips about how to cover your tracks effectively.
And I very much doubt that anyone reading this post is going to waste their time giving you their virtual approval like that.
If you're hell bent on continuing this affair (even though you proclaim you're not "the sort" who does ...... FACT: the "sort" who have affairs is ANYONE who cheats, and that means YOU) then go ahead, get on with it, but spare some consideration for people who've been on the receiving end of being cheated on (yeah, yeah, I agree with the adage that affairs only happen when people are unhappy, but consider that many victims have no idea their partner is unhappy because they refuse to be honest) many
of whom will inevitably be reading a popular public board like this, and stop rubbing their noses in it by presenting yourself as some sort of helpless victim in all this. That's just plain insulting.
Do you really want someone "to talk some sense into you or not" (as stated in the opening post)? ...... a lot of very good sense has already been spoken.