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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Affair starting up again

149 replies

dollymixture · 27/10/2006 20:54

I really want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation to me. I know that what I'm doing isn't right, but I don't seem to be able to stop myself (god that sounds pathetic). I am so mixed up right now.

Basically I had a 3 month affair with a friend 4 years ago now. Nothing between us for 2 years after that, he got married, I had another child ... life carried on. But then things started up again a couple of years ago and have been on and off ever since. More off than on, every now and again things would get very intense for a few weeks and then, mainly due to cirucmstances, would stop again.

But we're very close, always have been, email lots, especially when things are back on. And it is again, though not physically at the moment it's as good as with raunchy emails and phone stuff.

I can't pull back (and don't want to) he's part of my life and as much a friend of my dh's as mine. Him and his family are like family to us. Which just makes it even worse.

I really don't know what I'm asking here, to some extent I just need to get if off my chest. Maybe I want to find someone else who's been through the same thing, or maybe I want someone to talk some sense into me. I am so not the type of person who has an affair, I have spent my whole life doing the right thing, doing what is expected of me, and it would devestate everyone and shock everyone if they found out.

I don't know what else to say, I'm just on the verge of being very mixed up by it all and I know that that was a horrible place to be 4 years ago.

OP posts:
munz · 28/10/2006 11:28

'He's one of the closest friends I've got and someone I always turn to in a crisis. That's always been the case, even before the affair.'

then u know what get a new friend - seriously.

Mellowma · 28/10/2006 11:28

Message withdrawn

munz · 28/10/2006 11:29

your probably right lulu this is v close for me at the minute but hell my DH deserves better and damn sure this womans does.

glitterfairy · 28/10/2006 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lulumama · 28/10/2006 11:33

you're right munz...and if the OP had said she was teetering on the brink and needed some reassurance to do the right thing and make a go of things with DH or cut loose and make a go of it with the other man...i'd be a bit more patient.

but i feel for all those whose dh or dp has done this to them, have posted to encourage the OP to look at her actions and how they affect everyone....

and doesn't seem like OP wants to look at that....

NannyStar · 28/10/2006 11:36

I think you're a bitch. How would you feel if you found out DH was cheating on you?

glitterfairy · 28/10/2006 11:37

Nannystar I am not sure that that was necessary or helpful.

NannyStar · 28/10/2006 11:39

you're right glitterfairy and apologies to the OP, but why oh why do people have affairs?

Bugsy2 · 28/10/2006 11:40

If there is one thing you can be sure of, affairs strike fear into the hearts of most people. We all know it could happen to us. It is a betrayal of all that you signed up to when you get married.
We all know that our marriages stand a good chance of breaking down, so there is a fair degree of anxiety about this particular subject.
However, there is no doubt that some people are able to sustain affairs. Men are better at doing it, because they can usually see it for what it is, which is a bit of extra sex on the side. Women tend to get emotionally involved and are unable to accept that it could just be extra sex.
Take care dollymixture - sounds like you are going to put yourself through lots of pain & heartache.

glitterfairy · 28/10/2006 11:46

Thanks NannyStar. Well I know that one reason is because they can! Certainly if you are in an abusive relationship and have been made to feel that you are a "big fat slug" or "useless" and have been subjected to vilence an affair is sometimes the only way to get your self respect back enough to leave the bully to whom you are married. Even then you can often be lured back into the relationship which is so bad for your emotional well being and then the said bully can have an affair himself to get vengeance on you. Of course this is all conjecture as I cannot speak on this subject.

There are loads of reasons but that is why I think it is so important to reflect on what is happening.

BATtymumma · 28/10/2006 12:18

hows this for constructive critiscism then.

Your being selfish. you have betrayed your husband time and time again and now you are asking for us to tell you "well done" well im sorry but you have come to the wrong site for that.

this is a parenting site, we all have children and would be absolutly mortified if it were one of our husbands that was having an affair with a woman who was too self centered to remember that she has children and so does he.

im sorry but i realy dont know what it is you expect. if you want to be with him then fine be with him, but at least have the decency to destroy you partners life first. oh and if you could ask him to give his wife and child the same courtesy.

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 28/10/2006 12:24

dollymixture, how can you post

"I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know how many lives it could destroy. I know that it's down to me (and him)"

and then be surprised that most posters think your children should be more important to you than sex with your husband's friend?

Your OP says it all really IMO:

"I know that what I'm doing isn't right, but I don't seem to be able to stop myself (god that sounds pathetic)".

Yes, it does.

sleepfinder · 28/10/2006 13:16

its already been said but I'll say it again - you're utterly selfish and you're betraying a lot of people for your own gratification.

this will devastate a lot of people if they found out and tear apart two families.

find some self restraint for god's sake...

glitterfairy · 28/10/2006 13:31

But none of you have any idea what is going on in this persons life and are judging her and being really nasty based on very little information. If you really want her to stop the affair trying to find out her rationale and what is wrong with ehr current relationship might be more helpful.

BATtymumma · 28/10/2006 13:37

but to be fair GF (how are you BTW havent spoke to you for ages)
she has said she doesn't want to leave her hubby and this is not a spur of the moment thing, its been going on for years and is pretty premedetated on both parts.

it screams selfishness and indifference to her partner or child feelings.

I know that there are many reasons you may be pushed into the arms of someone who appears loving or supportive but that doesnt mean you should justa ccept it.

and her posts do not mention anything about her hubby being anything but her huisband. i think considering the amount of negative comments she has received if there was any underlying details that could possibly make us understand her decision to betray her husband and child/ren then she would have explained them by now.

witchscatsmother · 28/10/2006 13:43

I'm not sure what sort of "constructive" criticism you were hoping to find here. There has already been a lot of constructive criticism given which boils down to sort your marriage out one way or the other. No-one has actually said you can't have this man if that is what you really want, but people have said that it is extremely selfish to have him in your current circumstances (i.e. while both of you live a lie).

There have been many past threads where people have posted about the temptation of an affair and while I won't embarrass the OP by naming her, at least one person in that situation was able to pull herself back from the brink by talking through, step by step, what it might be within her marriage, and within herself, which was making her teeter that way. That person not only readily admitted that to go the whole hog could have caused very hurtful repercussions for several others, but was adult enough to seek advice and actually be prepared to listen to it. She challenged some of the things which were said, which is inevitable (we are all individuals and have different standards) but the driving force behind her posting here was to try and understand the situation she was in, and a genuine desire not to hurt innocent 3rd parties. She was more or less saying "I am tremendously tempted, I am experiencing very strong feelings, I know it would be wrong, please MN, talk this through with me and sort my head out, help me cope with these feelings".

But you seem very different.

So far, I have not seen you express any specific concern for the innocent 3rd parties here, apart from vague "I know it's wrong" remarks. As I said before, if someone knows something is wrong, yet goes ahead and does it anyway, then they are being incredibly selfish. I think there is a huge moral difference between doing something potentially hurtful out of ignorance (not appreciating the action could cause hurt) and doing it knowing damn well that the fallout could be enormous, but not caring enough (if, arguably, at all) to stop.

I am sure that if you sought specific advice, about either sorting out what's lacking in your life & marriage (to cause you to have an affair), and/or tactics for coping with temptation, there would be a plethora of well meaning advice sent your way.

However, you seem to be here only to seek approval for what you are doing - you haven't even said you want to stop. Neither have you mentioned any dissatisfaction at home - in fact you say you have no intention of leaving your husband. And then you seem to imply that you can't help yourselves because you will always be in each other's lives. In those circumstances, the only advice which you might regard as "constructive" would surely be a list of ideas to help you both find more "opportunities" to be "together" (i.e. cheat on your partners) and maybe 10 top tips about how to cover your tracks effectively.

And I very much doubt that anyone reading this post is going to waste their time giving you their virtual approval like that.

If you're hell bent on continuing this affair (even though you proclaim you're not "the sort" who does ...... FACT: the "sort" who have affairs is ANYONE who cheats, and that means YOU) then go ahead, get on with it, but spare some consideration for people who've been on the receiving end of being cheated on (yeah, yeah, I agree with the adage that affairs only happen when people are unhappy, but consider that many victims have no idea their partner is unhappy because they refuse to be honest) many
of whom will inevitably be reading a popular public board like this, and stop rubbing their noses in it by presenting yourself as some sort of helpless victim in all this. That's just plain insulting.

Do you really want someone "to talk some sense into you or not" (as stated in the opening post)? ...... a lot of very good sense has already been spoken.

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 28/10/2006 13:49

Excellent post, witchscatsmother.

BATtymumma · 28/10/2006 13:54

brilliant post Witchs

Judy1234 · 28/10/2006 14:21

I was trying to be constructive. The 30% of women who have affairs or whatever the figure is, mostly keep it secret. Male affairs are discovered more often than women's. Women are cleverer at keeping things hidden.

I don't agree there has to be something wrong in a relationship. People give in to lust. A lot of people would say they still love their spouse. But it's a risky business. You might lose your husband, your financial position could be worse. Your children might live with him after a divorce or for half the time.

madamez · 28/10/2006 14:27

Are you really all so monogamy-mad? While I agree with the general consensus that lying isn't nice, I'm surprised how few people seem able to cope with the fact that human beings are not naturally monogamous, that monogamy is a social construct desingned pretty much to keep women as property and that wanting to have sex with more than once person at a time (yes, group sex is cool too) doesn't make you a monster.
The best advice I can offer the OP is: research ethical non-monogamy and proceed accordingly. NO reason why you shouldn't.

lulumama · 28/10/2006 14:32

women as property...marriage as an institution...

how about stability..values & truth? not so terrible to aim for that is it..

ethical non monogamy...that is not what the OP is suggesting though is it..

i personally like being married, being secure, not having sex with lots of different men...i am not owned by my husband ,nor do i own him..but we mutually love, support and care for each other and our children..

how terribly old fashioned of me....

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 28/10/2006 14:41

Oh Lulu, you are so 'last century' - just like me!

With our outmoded ideas of honesty and fidelity.

And thinking the needs of our children are more important than a shag with a family friend.

Whatever next?

Enough of this thread, before I have an attack of the vapours.

Perhaps we should stick to listening to the wireless rather than expressing our views on these new fangled computer thingies!

lulumama · 28/10/2006 14:43

i know.....clearly so out of touch.....

munz · 28/10/2006 14:45

well said witchy, and lulu - erm guess i'm last century as well! lol.

really it doens't matter what's goin on in the posters life - first and formost she is a wife and a mother - these are responsibilitys, fair enough she's also a lady with desires we all have but ffs either sort your marrige or leave the H alone.

witchscatsmother · 28/10/2006 14:50

I've always maintained that how other people conduct their sex lives is up to them. If a couple want to have an open relationship where they each see other people, if they want to live a polygamous set-up, if they want to "swing" purely for sex, if they want to go dogging, go to fetish clubs, indulge in orgies or whatever then good for them.

But if both parties in a couple have made a commitment to each other, than all the "alternative" way of doing things as listed above need to be jointly discussed and jointly agreed (or not) so they both know where they stand.

You cannot have just one party in a couple making a unilateral decision about monogomy because they believe in "non-monogomy" in one form or another. To do so is dishonest and selfish.

In this case, there are 2 people (the OP's husband, and her lover's wife) who do NOT know where they stand. In fact their understanding of the relationship they think they share with their OHs is based on lies. They have not been given the opportunity to decide if they are agreeable to the "non-monogomy" their partners apparently can't function without.

If DM really is driven by an urge to live a "non-monogomous" lifestyle, her morally correct options remain the same ...... sort out her marriage so it's an honest one, based on boundaries which both her and her husband are happy with, or get away from it and please herself.