Well that didn't last very long!
You felt you had to try. It appeared H was on the same page. He wasn't - but you gave him a chance to be. He really, really didn't want to tell you about the finances, did he? So on the pretext of explaining he pressed all the wind-up buttons, exploded and flounced off. It's so transparent - but here you are, seven weeks on from the start of your thread, again half-believing you are a needy, temperamental creature who would irritate a saint.
Take a deep breath, relax, read your post from Thursday and try to recover that strength. It does indeed go round in circles, as you say; and it's the hope once again snatched away, even more than the aggression, that saps your energy. Were you so positive because you believed it might actually work? That was never very likely (although even we outsiders were hoping against hope that it would).
Plan A was the one where you made an agreement and went to counselling together and gradually learned to relate to each other as adults in a healthy relationship. Plan B kicks in if/when the party of the second part blows Plan A out of the water. You said you will be okay, you know your rights; this is correct, you will and you do. You need not be afraid.
He'll take you to the cleaners? Oh yeah - how? He gets his own way with you by emotional manipulation and intimidation. This simply does not work in a court of law. The judge doesn't know him and doesn't care. The judge will see a marriage which has irretrievably broken down, total marital assets, number of dependent children and two relative earning capacities. It is the court's job to make a fair split on the basis of those factors. Neither one of you can or should be able to take each other to the cleaners. I know your H won't play fair, he'll hide assets and all sorts of dirty dealings, but you will not come out of this with nothing. He is lying, plain and simple, when he tries to tell you it works like that.