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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband is so bloody stupid, I think I pity him.

126 replies

jonrotten · 19/02/2015 17:30

So, my iPad ran out of charge today, and I couldn't be bothered to get the charger, so picked up Dhs as it was on the table in front of me.

We tend to use our own, but we know each others passcodes and we sometimes just use the one closest to take a pic of dd etc. As they are linked to our phones for texts/iMessages/emails he's never had anythingf to hide a as he's very free with iPad, phone and laptop.

Anyway, so I wasn't snooping is what I'm saying!

I go on it and I see that it's open on an email account. Only it's not his usual, he's set another one up.

On it was lots of emails from a website called 'badoo' with headings like 'xx wants to chat' and 'yy has replied to your message.

There was a button underneath that said click to read your message so I did and the chats were all there.

Stupid cunt isn't getting anywhere. Most of them strong him along and then try to charge him for cam stuff. One of them is anawering him in a bizzare way, with just one random letter. Pathetic prick is still trying though.

Apparently, he's single! Wow, Iust have imagined the wedding and children then.

Sorry if I've not made much sense.

Sad
OP posts:
HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 19/02/2015 17:33

You've made perfect sense.
Your husband is an arse. To put it mildly.

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 19/02/2015 17:34

He likes to play at being single eh? I wonder how he'd like the reality?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 19/02/2015 17:37

You're not going to stay married to this person then given all this?.

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 17:38

What and have to clean up after himself and do anything?

I don't know what to do. He's at my dads house now a. Your away, went over after work to set up a computer for him, he's making him dinner as thanks so he won't be back until later.

I can reply to the thread though. Don't know if I should

OP posts:
Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 17:40

Honestly, I'd put up a photo of the chats but they have Dhs profile photo nex to them (he's so thick, he's chosen a photo where he thinks he looks great, but he looks like a sweaty twat).

He's called himself an equally pathetic nickname.

He's a 30 year old accountant ffs.

OP posts:
NamesNick · 19/02/2015 17:42

channel your anger into getting the best outcome for you and dc.

I hope you are ok

temporarilyjerry · 19/02/2015 17:43

I can reply to the thread though. "You're single. I must have imagined the wedding and children, then."

AJNH · 19/02/2015 17:44

One of exes (not that there are loads!) did this, so I made him single... He still randomly messages now, but it's me that laughs instead of him.

Don't put up with this! You don't need or have to! Flowers

AJNH · 19/02/2015 17:45

A sweaty twat hahaaGrin

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 17:46

Sorry for all the typos, dd is only ten months and is climbing all over me

OP posts:
TheJiminyConjecture · 19/02/2015 17:47

What a dick. Sorry you are having to deal with his twattish behaviour. You sound so embarrassed for him, I'm cringing at the thought of his messages. Stay strong Flowers

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 19/02/2015 17:48

I would reply. I honestly would.

You're single? That's news to me and our daughter. But good to know. Since you want it - you got it. Enjoy it.

TheFutureMrsB · 19/02/2015 17:49

Sweaty twat Grin

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 19/02/2015 17:50

ooh, or - maybe you're not getting anywhere because your picture makes you look like a sweaty twat, sincerely - the wife you have forgotten to mention.

Sorry. I know this is your life and it's no joke at all, but really, you must be so tempted to give him what for.

Do you know what you plan to do?

Ohfourfoxache · 19/02/2015 17:51

Oh fucking hell.

He really does sound like a complete twat.

Take screenshots of absolutely everything and keep them safe. Make sure you have all the evidence in your possession. Regardless of what you decide to do, you need it as a "just in case".

headlesslambrini · 19/02/2015 17:51

take screen shots etc, note down the email address which he has set up, paswords etc if you can.

what do you want to happen now?

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 17:51

I think I might reply.

He's so tech savvy though. I'm wondering why he didn't cover his tracks better? He leaves his stuff laying around, it's no secret that I'll sometimes pick up his phone/iPad and use them as he does with mine.

In fact my ds who is 13 sometimes does too, what if he'd seen that?

OP posts:
Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 19/02/2015 17:53

"You weren't single, but you are now. Fuckity bye"

ThingummyJigg · 19/02/2015 17:56

Um...any chance it was your ds who did this, used his dad's photo? Has he had any mates around today, they might have done it for a laugh?

LucyBealesGhost · 19/02/2015 17:59

I wouldn't have had the balls ovaries to do it, but I really admire those women who reply to the ad, string him along and turn up at the date!

Do take screenshots & keep the info, jon. You must be both fuming and upset. What a twat your H has turned out to be.

hmc · 19/02/2015 17:59

I don't generally agree when people suggest LTB, but in this case you do know there is no alternative but to LTB don't you? Sorry that this happened Flowers

whattodoowiththeleftoverturkey · 19/02/2015 18:06

Don't reply to the thread. That gives him the opportunity to find out you know before he gets home. Keep your powder dry.

Take screenshots and have the children settled in bed (if poss) for when he gets back. Decide how you're going to tackle him.

Or have the kids and some bags packed and tell him what you've found any that you're going to stay with (whoever) for a few days while you decide your next steps.

HelenaVagBasket · 19/02/2015 18:06

Been there. 2nd the advice to screenshot everything and send it to yourself/save it to your phone. Our baby was 10 months old when I kicked dh out as he thought he could do better (he can't...).
How has your marriage been until now, did you think that everything was ok?
Why do people do this. Angry

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/02/2015 18:13

Stupid and faithless. Doesn't have a lot to commend him....

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:14

No it wasn't ds.

The messages tell you how many hours ago they were sent - all times when ds was with me or on the Xbox in front of me.

It's dh 'style' of writing too.

OP posts: