Husband Caught in Au Pair's Room

[random1]

Hi all. This is my first posting. I'm worried and not sure what to think. My husband and I have been together for 19 years. We almost broke up 5 years ago after our marriage got so bad that we both turned to other people outside our marriage, something we both regret but also something that made us communicate better and appreciate each other more. It's still tough at times but our relationship overall is so much better than ever before. (Other than a bit more arguing, but mainly over the past snd jealousy ). We have 4 children and have had 5 au pairs over the past 4 years. And I've trusted him with them every time. But yesterday, I was shattered after work. We have a fantastic sex life and feel very lucky. I have never said no to him. But yesterday, I just wanted to sleep, so turned him down. I didn't mention he drinks a lot of wine. And he fid this whilst I was sleeping. I woke when he left our bedroom and caught him rummaging in our au pair's bag snd hoing through her dirty laundry basket and having a really big sniff of her knickers. I confronted him and he denied it at first even though he knew I had seen him. Now he keeps apologising but says I don't make him happy sexually anymore. Yet says he doesn't fancy the au pair and he doesn't kjow why he did it. I thought we were happy. I feel numb. The au pair doesn't know as far as I know. I can't look her in the face. She is fantastic with the children. But I don't know if this is the start of more problems. I have told him no more wine in the house ever. But, I don't have the energy to fight for our marriage anymore.

arsenic the technique u talk about was not seen on inbetweeners and im not a sexual connosseur either. a survey is not the be-all. my knowledge is just as valid. the inbetweeners reference is valid also but certain women dont want to accept the reality of what some men get up to.

A classic example of oversharing

i was an au pair once.
If I had found my employer in my knicker drawer it would have terrified me as I , like most au pairs, was only 18

GROSS

arsenic ur sarcasm is wasted on me. my job is very much to do with male sexuality and getting to the truth. this is separate to my amateur builders theory. if ur not interested in male sexuality - fine, but dont dismiss my experience just because it doesnt sit well with u. if knicker sniffing survey exists i will b sure to post it up here.

STOP WITH THE TEXT SPEAK!

This thread is ridiculous enough without the use of fucking text speak.

maybe she is typing WITH her right foot

hence

I am loving this thread. Finding it hilarious. Especially those who are determined that their men would never do such a thing.

You mean your partner sniffs other women's knickers bitofa?

my own pants smell pretty bad at the end of teh day. i owuldnt want to sniff em

I told my DP about this thread, he offered to do the washing. I can hear him rummaging around in the laundry basket

I thought au pairs tended to be quite young rather than in their 30s

Have all your au pairs been in their 30s op? You seem to have had quite a few in a short space of time

lol limefizz

I might get a job as an au pair. That'd teach him.

DH has told me I'm to stop discussing such inappropriate things with you lot of harlots.

I think that's what he said anyway, he had a pair of my dirty knickers over his head covering his mouth so it was a bit hard to understand him.

What would you do with the Jizzed up knickers when you go them back?

That was a rhetorical question btw. For gods sake don't answer it.

What I think is really sad is all the people saying their husbands would never do this. You only have to look at the 5-10 daily 'discovered affair' threads to see that Men can be very suprissing. As I said before most men do this sort of thing I've seen a grown man do it whilst pleasuring himself IN THE BSCK OF A CHARITY SHOP.

friendlyappleeater, we are not some weird species from another planet. Women have affairs too.
We are not all potential deviants who are chomping at the bit just waiting to sniff used knickers. It's bad enough putting them in the washing machine.

Don't worry arsenic I can afford to give a pretty tame sexual anecdote away. Although usualsuspect I don't get off on feeding trolls wank fodder thanks I didn't think it was a troll fwiw.

armpitt why is it vile? We're in a loving and respectful sexual relationship, if we like to get a bit freaky where's the harm? Don't judge my sex life and I won't judge yours!

(He actually washed them before he gave them back in the end anyway)

What I think is really sad is all the people saying their husbands would never do this. You only have to look at the 5-10 daily 'discovered affair' threads to see...

Affairs are traditionally consensual. It's really not the same.

I actually find it more sad that some people have such a low opinion of men that they think the majority would go and sniff an employees knickers because their wife said no to sex.

quiero i do have a low opinion of men when it comes to sex. however i do genuinely like men. when it comes down to kinkiness i think men lead the way.

I think it's more surprising so many people have such a high opinion of men. I have quite a low opinion of them I'm afraid. People should be more realistic. And not be shocked out of their minds when their DH has an affair.

Men are just people.

People can be disappointing but they can be wonderful too.

i'd be afraid for the au pair. if it were my daughter au pairing in your house, I'd want her home immediately.

i au paired when I was 19. God I've have been so repulsed by that.