So upset about something that's happened to me today.

[tallymo]

My son is in year 1 at school. Within weeks of him starting reception year I'd somehow managed to piss off another mum from his class for reasons unbeknown to me. I tried a couple of times to approach her and try to sort things out but was told to "fuck off".

If she doesn't like me then that's fair enough I don't really care, but she will not let things lie, and regularly talks about me loudly at school collection, pulls faces at me, and bad mouths me at any opportunity.

This afternoon I took my DS to a birthday party, and halfway through the party this other mum walked past me, stopped next to me, deliberately sent me flying, pulled a face at some other mums, who all just laughed, and walked off.

I was mortified, had to fight back tears, and took DS home as soon as possible.

The mums that laughed were all mums that I thought I got on well with, but they clearly don't like me much. After it had happened they were all chattering away to her like she was their best friend in the world. None of them asked if I was ok.

I feel so upset. I'm angry at myself for not saying anything but I didn't think it would do any good for me to start arguing at a kids' party.

One of the other mums phoned me last night to apologise for laughing, she said it was a nervous reaction but she thought the other woman's behaviour was appalling. Not quite sure why she didn't say something at the time or at least check I was o

I was going to say are you sure those who laughed didn't mistakenly see it as a prat fall/accident? But now you've posted this, if there are any who laughed who you particularly get on with (or the one who called you), I would take them out for a coffee and get the low down on this woman and why they think she has a problem with you.

Then after that I'm afraid you need to put on your flack jacket and prepare for battle. Bullies operate on the basis that no one will stand up to them.

You just need to go in hard but reasonable and she'll leave you alone. You also need a bit of strategising.

So I'd subtly find out as much about her, her family and her child as you can. What matters to her. This may give you an easy quick win.

If nothing emerges that's of any use, I would just go up to her and say directly, "with regard to your actions towards me at the party, if you EVER do anything like that to me or my child again, I will report you to the police for assault."

The key to this is tone and attitude. If she thought she could barge you, it maybe that you are not projecting the right attitude. I Am not suggesting it's your fault as she sounds like an utter bitch and assaulting people is never acceptable. But just that you may present as someone she thought she could bully. If you don't think you can pull it off with enough force and assertiveness, get your husband to say the same thing to her.

If she's regularly bad mouthing you and pulling faces, take some pictures or start recording her and tell her you're building a file for legal proceedings. She'll soon stop.

You also need to garner support amongst the other mums. Maybe organise a party or a drinks with some of the others. One by one convert them to your team.

Normally, I say "fuck people that behave like that" and walk away. But if your child is there its a different point.

(Entirely separately, read Who Are You? by Elizabeth Forbes which in about the second or third chapter has a husband deal with the parents of a child at his school who was bullying his son and badmouthing his wife in an extraordinary way. Not suggesting this is a good idea!!!)

Hello OP, I think you are doing the right thing in reporting to police and school.

The lookers-on - sometimes it's shock, or fear of the bully, or plain embarrassment that stops anyone intervening. If they pretend it hasn't just happened...

It doesn't mean that they agree with the bully. They might like you very much.

I've had two bullies in my life, one where I lived, and one where I worked. Both places there were perfectly normal reasonable people who were in the bullies gang and did nothing, although they were nice to me when the bullies weren't around. One of them ended up being friends with a friend of mine, years later, when she was no longer in touch with bully woman. Every time I saw her she was all over me, so sorry, she knew it was wrong to go along with it all, so sorry, and even started crying on one occasion. Weak people are everywhere, sadly. Don't let it hit your self esteem or start thinking they are all against you. They aren't. But they are cowardly.

She's an overgrown toddler, and it will all come crashing down on her
In the meantime, yes, get to the head teacher
Lots of cold stares
Make no attempt at pleasantries with her or coven
Even if you had inadvertently offended her, that's no excuse for her behaviour