So upset about something that's happened to me today.

[tallymo]

My son is in year 1 at school. Within weeks of him starting reception year I'd somehow managed to piss off another mum from his class for reasons unbeknown to me. I tried a couple of times to approach her and try to sort things out but was told to "fuck off".

If she doesn't like me then that's fair enough I don't really care, but she will not let things lie, and regularly talks about me loudly at school collection, pulls faces at me, and bad mouths me at any opportunity.

This afternoon I took my DS to a birthday party, and halfway through the party this other mum walked past me, stopped next to me, deliberately sent me flying, pulled a face at some other mums, who all just laughed, and walked off.

I was mortified, had to fight back tears, and took DS home as soon as possible.

The mums that laughed were all mums that I thought I got on well with, but they clearly don't like me much. After it had happened they were all chattering away to her like she was their best friend in the world. None of them asked if I was ok.

I feel so upset. I'm angry at myself for not saying anything but I didn't think it would do any good for me to start arguing at a kids' party.

No I don't think you should have to move school, I'd speak to the head teacher, even the board of governers, also ring the police for advice.
I can't believe a grown woman gets on this way, and all her cronies follow suit? I'd be literally shocked at this.

Speak to the school, document any further assaults and for goodness sake report the incident to the police.

Was the party at someone's house? Or in a public place?

She is absolutely vile and you certainly shouldn't let her get away with it.

Yes report to police. Ok, they will probably do nothing but the complaint will be documented in case she does it again.

Crikey, she sounds more childish than the children. Perhaps she is a former playground bully who never grew up.

Speak to the police. It was an assault. I once had an arsehole of a neighbour trying to intimidate me on my front doorstep because he didn't like the fact that I had a dog, even though I keep him well and don't allow unchecked barking at all. I spoke to the police and they took it seriously even though there had been no physical assault. They visited the fruitcake and I had no more trouble after that, although dog owners waaay along the road got anonymous notes from him claiming their dogs were constantly barking. Not true, as nobody else could hear them. I actually saw him delivering the notes to someone I knew, and they confirmed it later.

Report it. Show her you won't stand for being shoved around and threatened.

She is a bully and my advice is you need to stand up to her and put a stop to this pronto. Do not try to be friends or ask her why she is behaving in this way.

Report to the police, ignore her from now on and on the future if she assaults you, then defend yourself.

If it was me I would have responded swiftly with a well placed blow. However, that's just me.

majestic - sometimes there doesn't have to be a reason, some people are just vile and choose anyone they deem as weak.

Often though it's just jealousy.

She sounds the weak and insecure one - bumping OP until she falls over and shouting obscenities, I bet she always has an audience for her disgusting behaviour!

I'm not afraid of confrontation at all but given that the op's DS is so young I honestly believe the best option is to move on. It's very unlikely the school would want to get involved in this type of situation.

What did you talk about? Does she know where you live, your job (or OH;s job), you car? It could be that after chatting with you she realised that you have a nicer house, better job, more money, nicer car, whatever..... and is jealous. I have seen someone frozen out for that, it was horrible and utterly pathetic. I dont get involved in school friendships for this very reason and I spoke to her as did some others but the bitches were vile and although she said they were moving for her husbands job I am not so sure that that was the whole reason........

Definitely report it on the basis that it will make the point that you wont be bullied, and dont keep it quiet either. Anyone you do talk to at school, make sure you mention it and that the police had to be involved.

Oh OP, you poor thing!

What a nasty piece of work her and her cronies are! Im horrified to say the least.

I would do what the others suggest, go and talk to the Head Teacher. It's also likely that this excuse of a person and the others will start drumming it into their childrens head to be nasty to your child whenever possible too (as you say that bit has also started).

See what the Head Teacher says and report if necessary. I'd also look into another school to be honest, you really don't need this upset every time you have to drop your child off.

This makes me want to go and have a word in her ear myself

I don't know enough to know if this would work, but I'd ignore her and the other cruel mums behaviour completely - be dignified and polite. However, are there any friends your son has made at school that you could have back for a play date, and get to know the mum of that child through them. I'm guessing it won't be the horrid mum's son, or any of those that laughed at you at the party, but perhaps some other child. That way you could make a new connection to some other mum in the class and so when you do drop off and pick up you might have a friendly face to say hello to. And leave these sad spiteful other mum's to themselves. I'm sure you will find this is just a clique, even if a loud foul-mouthed one and there will be other parent equally uncomfortable about them.

You say this started when your DS was in reception and he's now in year 1, has this been going on a year then? Even so, it's never too late to try to make new connections with mums at school, especially if you children are friends.

There's a lot to be said for changing school, if only for your son not to be in the same classroom as the children of these developmentally delayed women.

I would talk to the school - she cannot intimidate, harass, swear and be abusive on their premises.

Also speak with the police - the incident today was assault and is an ESCALATION of the repeated ongoing harassment - they will take action and warn her that any retaliation to you after this warning will have consequences.

OP I have no advice, only sympathy, as one of the mothers in my child's class (Year 1) has also taken against me - no explanation given - and is doing exactly the same to me. She hasn't asaulted me but has verbally abused dH on our doorstep. I have been into school to see the class teacher and head teacher, and they both assure me that there is nothing going on between our dc. I only do school drop off and pick up occassionally but she does every day. I am convinced she has been bad mouthing me in a big way, as parents who were formerly friendly have started shunning me. It's a horrible situation. My child doesn't understand why they were the only child not invited to the other child's party. Nor do I! I have no idea what I have done and she refuses to talk to me.

This is unbelievable.

An adult knocks you flying (rare enough) and instead of 'WTF?!' and people intervening, they laugh?

I can not, actually, literally can not, imagine any friend/aquaintance/colleague of mine ever behaving as either you, or anyone else in this story has.

How on earth have such a socially inept group of people all managed to send their children to the same school?

Have the teaching staff not noticed how peculiar you all are?

Report to the police - that is assault. I have lived in all sorts of places and find it totally unbelievable that anyone would behave like that and it be laughed off.

Norway - out of interest, what makes the OP peculiar? She is the victim of a bully here.

What?!

id move school. you shouldn't have to but to avoid dragging it out, and the fact your child is only in yr 1, id just move

So sorry, no advice. Please do not be angry at yourself for not knowing what to say, it's the kind of thing where you just would not expect it.

I would give her a very wide berth. Just stay away from her and ignore her. But if it escalates I would think about talking to the school. If anything happens at school then for the sake of harmony in the school they may intervene.

Make friends with other mums and get involved with another social group.

She sounds vile. Hopefully she will piss off the wrong person and get some of that treatment herself.

norway you come across as someone who has had a very sheltered life. I have encountered many people that display the attitude to casual intimidation that the OP describes. How nice for you that you haven't.

Thanks for spelling it out to me, much appreciated

Some people just aren't as strong as others in dealing with bullies though.

If it's a questionable thread though, report. Maybe my radar isn't strong tonight

Norway you have a really odd view of how people are. Are you seriously telling me that if someone shoved into you violently you'd cry with laughter?

OP I'd be looking to move my DC to a new school if I was you, this woman and her cronies sound toxic

I'm beginning to think i must be a bit odd!

I honestly can't imagine encountering one, let alone a group, of people behaving like those on the OP. And finding them anything other than ridiculous.

Ordinary everyday people just do not behave like that.

Or are you all telling me you know people who'd pull faces and laugh in the face of such peculiar behaviour?

Norway, your lack of empathy is amazing. You're massively unhelpful.

OP, if it were me, I'd be shaken then really angry. I know a bit of martial arts, I'd love to show you a move.

Tell the head. Model to your child that no one has to put up with this shit. I really wish I could come and meet this miserable bitch with you on the school run.