How can I find incognito history on Chrome?

[eggplanty]

I just came up to find an incognito window open in chrome on a website that I really would not be ok with my DH watching. Unfortunately by the I had noticed I had force shut down the laptop as it was not responding so I was not able to save the window.

Is there anyway I can find out what he is doing in incognito mode?

Also, and I hope this doesn't come across wrong, but I've seen what some of these relationships (on cam sites) are like, and my feel is that the men who have 'relationships' with these women - my ex included - don't want relationships with real women. They want to have the pretence of intimacy, but they're scared of actual intimacy or real human women. There's a safety to talking to a woman you're paying to listen to you, whose real personhood you don't really have to consider. He isn't having relationships with those women. It doesn't sound like he's capable of that.

Yes I agree with that. Why wouldn't he listen to my hopes and dreams or tell me how beautiful I am. These women that he is paying are not like porn star looking. Just pretty average. They are just not me. Just not his wife or a "real" person he has to deal with and their unpredictabilities.

I have such a big weekend ahead. A number of big social engagements we are supposed to be going to together. I can't bear the thought of it.

I am ashamed. Deep down I feel this is my fault too. I have become an absolute wreak since having children. Rarely groomed at all in any sense. I also focused on my childrens' and husbands needs and felt things would calm down at some point and that I could address this. I am always in awe of women how have young children and still look beautiful and preened.

PM'd you Eggplanty.

Oh Eggplanty please don't blame yourself, this is not your doing. How long have you been together?

None of this is your fault. None of it.

No it is nothing to do with you at all. You are lovely and normal and a fantastic mother and beautiful I bet. You put your family first. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
He would have done this whoever he was married to. It is because he is a weak and selfish fool.

Darling this is NOT YOUR FAULT.

HE has done this. HE is the one who has lied and cheated and hurt and used you.

You are in shock - of course you are, how could you not be. You need to give yourself time and he needs to give you space. And he can bloody well start by either going to hese things over the weekend on his own or not at all. Don't feel obliged to put on "a brave face" - why should you?

I know you keep saying that you're not strong enough to separate etc, but do you know what? There are hundreds of women who have posted the exact same thing on MN. Loads. Over many, many years. They're mostly in the relationships board - have a look. If they are strong enough to leave, YOU are strong enough to leave. Don't rule anything out, but I promise you that you have an inner strength that you don't even know you have ATM.

It may be a very un-MNetty thing to do but I'm sending you an enormous xx

I've just read your thread and I think you are very brave in just posting. You sound so unhappy. But- you know- you're not trapped in the life your DH has planned for you, and your dc.

No one on here is laughing at you, posters all want to help, keep posting. It might be a bit blunt ( I've experineced this myself!)

You are pregnant which will messes with your emotions and of course you want to feel safe. When is the baby due?

Stop looking now. Take a few screen shots, email to a private account.

The next step for you is thinking what you want for you, now and the future. Clearly he's fucking you and the dc over - money, time, affection.

Imagine a life without this rubbish. Not the detail, just being happy day to day.

No man is above the law. they talk a good talk though. Ignore and see a lawyer. Get pissed off. How come he has time and money to fuck about on websites? It's not your fault, any of it. Of course he's blaming you. You know he's turned out a wrong un. Not your fault- I expect everyone has been fooled, not just you.

Oh - and staying and committing yourself and turning a blind eye will be a lot harder than divorce or legal separation or whatever. Personally, I couidnt do that- martyr myself - for what? all the pretence year on year. For what? One life. Take your time, stop looking, tell your Mw, see a solicitor, - what a year of trouble versus a life of this crap?

Again- it's not your fault, blimey, he's done a number on you. And don't be upset or think I'm laughing at you. I'm not at all.

This is not your fault. Like you said, he doesn't want to deal with the unpredictabilities of a real person. This is not because you did something wrong or because you weren't enough in some way. This is no reflection on you. It is a reflection on him and him alone.

It sounds like you feel like this is your fault because you have horribly low self esteem. He has likely been manipulating you and making you doubt yourself for a long time (and plenty of people have low self esteem before you even start adding that kind of thing into the picture!). Look at how he's reacted to this. We can all confirm that you are not being unreasonable here. I think you would really, really struggle to find anyone who would take his point of view here. Yet he's acting like it's your fault, and like your reaction is unreasonable. If someone treats you like that over a period of time, of course you start feeling like everything is your fault!

Love is not conditional on things like maintaining a preened appearance. You have not turned your 'd'p into a horrible person by failing to groom yourself. He was just a shit to begin with. The way he has behaved is just not within the normal realms of behaviour for a decent, loving person.

None of this is your fault.

Op, something similar happened to me - I could have died from the shock, pages and pages of email to hook up sites, visiting adultwork and emailing prostitutes (probably using them) and I found out after he'd done it to first wife as well. It's horrible, I am so sorry, but trust me when I tell you - I loved my ex - but he's a rat bastard and you should leave him. I'm sorry to say that, I think marriage should work but you deserve to be with someone better.

Also, reading this thread...just....urgh....

Are al men like this? Can't believe the quantity of threads where the guy is just a complete rat bastard

Thank you for your help. I went to the kitchen to eat everything. He was asleep on the sofa. Nothing was cleaned, picked up or put away. The not a single dish was put away. All the food was out of the fridge. All the toys everywhere.

I never go to bed the house a mess and the kitchen is always clean for the morning. I feel so angry. You talk about wanting to prove your love and trust and you just fall asleep leaving the house in the biggest shit tip I have ever seen here.

I clean up every single day. Never lifts a finger "because he doesn't see it". And on a night where I tell him I want to divorce he just leaves it all for me to pick up and deal with and heads off for a sleep. What an utter piece of shit.

Also Eggplanty...I dressed up every day, was always groomed, always in heels, makeup every day, legs permanently shaved, lingerie collection, 5 times a week sex and he told me constantly I was beautiful.

And he was still doing all that behind my back.

My point being, nothing you did caused this. People who are like this are just like this and it's not to do with what the other person does or doesn't do.

They just have a scummy streak. And when they get caught, they always try and blame someone or something else because they are entitled pricks.

Mine said he did it to be better with women....mostly me...!!!!! ha ha ha!!!

I promise you that not all men are like this

The ones described on here are, unfortunately, overwhelmingly vile, abhorrent shits. But very few people will come onto this board saying "oh my DH/DP is so wonderful" - it would be a pointless and braggy post if they did.

So if the majority of threads are started when there is a problem in a relationship then this board can offer a very skewed view of the world.

What I'm trying to say (badly) is that often, if it is bad enough to post on MN about a relationship, it is more than likely to be reality and you are not imagining it. And you can't go round comparing yourself to other posters because "she/he has it worse than me" - it's not like that.

Egg in the nicest possible way, this is bad. Not only has he done all the things you've discovered, but he's also (as you say) not lifted a finger to help out this evening. Please please please, do not let him downplay this, and do not downplay this yourself. You deserve better. Fwiw, I think you could be much happier away from him than you are now - either on your own or with a decent specimen. Please don't put up with this shit - you're better than that x

Re the big social weekend ahead - whose events are they? If they are his that you're going along to, tell him you don't feel like accompanying him and he can go alone. If yours, tell him you don't want his company and he will be looking after the kids while you go alone. You can just tell anyone who asks that he's ill for now. Do not feel you have to put the happy couple front on. There's always an excuse that can be made.

You could pretend you were sick if you don't fancy going to the events.

He's not exactly enriching your life is he?

Barely got any sleep last night. I feel like I have been hit by a bus. The hardest thing is seeing my children's things. I keep looking at their little clothes and thinking how unfair this is on them. How much he has betrayed their trust. They deserved to grow up in a happy family.

It does not surprise me that he does not do his fair share of the chores and childcare. Selfish wanker.

No wonder you cannot find the time to look after yourself. You need to stop putting his needs first. Don't do his cooking, laundry, ironing etc. He needs to pull his weight and start being a real man.

I read everything I found last night. Years and years of conversations and videos (I couldn't watch the videos). I cannot believe this was my husband doing this. Almost every day of our marriage.

He needs to feel the consequences - tell him he's got to go to give you space to think about this.

What happens if the house is not in my name? He owns this house before we married and have not worked a day in our marriage. Surely I would have to find somewhere to live. I have no money and I don't think I can find a job as I still have children at home and I am pregnant.

OP , I am just wondering if your certainty with regard to 'no divorce ' is based on your faith/religious belief, and if so, could you perhaps seek some rl help from there. ? Most faith systems have a 'pastoral' team, and sadly it's rare for them not to have heard of this type of behaviour before. If your objection to separation is not based on religious belief, and simply your own thoughts that it is not something you are strong enough for, then please seek outside help to bolster your self esteem. I am the last person to say l
LTB, in fact it winds me off the clock that MN seems to operate in a parallel universe sometimes , where we all leave our spouses at the drop of the hat because he has been a selfish knob. But this, THIS !!!! Words fail me, I'm sorry but it's just too much. For me , the behaviour is shocking but even worse, - Not a word of contrition or apology whatsoever , he feels he doesn't have to do anything. And you will just have to put up with this for the rest of your life. My advice, Today get a free 30 mins with a solicitor. Find out what your rights and financial position would be if you left. Get some knowledge , knowledge is power.... And take it from there.

Yes faith is part of it. I don't think I can even begin to contact someone their though because I am incredibly ashamed and embarrased.

Then the practicalities. I know if we sold this place we could not maintain two places that would be large enough for the children to live normally, without moving far away. I cannot bear the thought of changing their little lives.

It makes no difference if the house is not in your name. You are married. I would get yourself a free half hour with a solicitor to find out what you are entitled to re property.