The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the New Year in Fine Style

[venusandmars]

Hello, I'm Venus, and standing in for Mouse (who usually starts all our threads)

This is a safe and welcoming place for anyone who is facing up to a problem with alcohol. It may be something you’ve known for years, or it may be that struggling with dry January has made you re-think your relationship with drink.
Anyway, welcome old and new, lurkers and posters. It can be a weird thread at times – travelling on a bus called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all been in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. If you find all the banter off-putting just jump in with a cry for help.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR xxx

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

Our most recent thread, if you want to catch up

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Ma - I have a Wallis Mono print dress that would suit you, or a brown, chocolate, dress, to the floor that you could try?

What's the event sweetie? Sounds lush!! I know I've missed LOADS from you just from your recent posts, you'll have to fill me in, sorry, I mean update me! I know in Scotishland, "fill me in" could me that you give me a pasting!

Nemo is doing a sponsored read for school and tonight he read two whole books on his own!! I was blown away by his knowledge. I do so love that little Dude of ours. I know that lots of you care about him or at least ask after him........

He's getting bigger each day, more wait, taller, brighter, stronger and yet the slightest unknown germ could see him in ICU.

Anywho - I have an interview on Monday - it's now confirmed - to help as a volunteer at a place in the town nearest to here. I am super excited.

Other than teaching myself to knit, I need a change of scene from the care home. Lots of death there at the moment and apparently, it will get worse before it get's better.

They lost a respite resident on Friday and her DD was going to just drive home. Numb, cold and utterly lost. One of the staff actually saw her and offered her a sweet, hot, tea and somewhere to sit for a while whilst she gathered herself.

Death, even though the place I volunteer at is literally 'God's Waiting Room', it is still a huge shock when we lose a resident. So very sad to see. I think that's why I need to do a role that means there will be no death at the end if that makes sense?

As much as I've cared for Nemo over the years, cared and cared for anyone, everyone, I would like to see a smile now and again. Is that wrong of me?

So, hopefully on Monday, they will see me and offer me 2 hours a week volunteering.

So, how are we all tonight, is everyone coping or is anyone struggling? xxx

Morning All.

*Mouse, it's good to hear Nemo is doing well. Good luck with the interview.

Work have been amazing (I take back things I have said about my boss), and have said I need to stay off and not worry about coming back until I'm well. It's a huge weight lifted, and to be honest, a bit unexpected. So, now, I need to do just that.

I'm not going to get complacent, but WW isn't bothering me at all at the moment. I'm not quite sure at what point I stopped obsessing, but I did. Soc has described it before; the thought pops into my head, "A glass of wine would be nice" and then, just as quickly, pops back out, without effort or struggle. Keep trying babes, one day it will 'stick' and even if it takes hundreds of 'getting to day 3', that's still a good collection of AF days.

Have a good day everyone, and make today a day you will not drink.

Day 4

Funky flippin dreams I've woken up exhausted. Have to admit I really struggled last night but action packed day should keep me busy distracted

Sweet really glad that your boss has been so understanding that is a relief. So now you need to focus on you and only you for today Have a good one whatever it is you decide to do x

Mouse good luck with your interview on Monday. I work in a care home recruiting and co-ordinating their volunteers and organising their activities. It is a really difficult time of year as an increased number of residents die and it is really really sad. I've become a bit hardened to it, in that as long as I can make their last months, days, hours as enjoyable and comfortable as possible then I know I've done a good job blimey I'm starting to sound like Mother Theresa

Beaches I miss you Babe. Hope you're ok darling x

Baby are you ok honey? xx

Have a good day everyone

Hi all.

Feeling very perky today for some reason (may be to do with working at home for once, rather than having to traipse in to work). Everyone is sounding pretty chipper which is fab - Mouse, so good to hear about Nemo and all good wishes for your interview.

Spanna what an awesome job you do, I am sure you are not hardened in an emotional sense to it, but as you say you kind of have to get on with stuff, and you are doing the best thing possible by making the residents' lives as comfortable as you can in their last days. That is just a wonderful thing to be able to say you do.

Sweet I am so glad you are having some time to yourself and that people at work are being understanding. It is surprising sometimes that when you least expect it, work suddenly does something nice and compassionate and just basically human! You must feel at least as though that pressure has been taken off, and I hope that helps. I think I know a little about what you mean re the WW - I think we are at the same stage in our 'journey' (god I hate that expression) if I haven't hallucinated it (day 43?) and the last few days I have felt cautiously like I can stop policing myself every minute of the evening. It is not complacency as i know that this is a long, long trip (and one which for me has only been possible due to Gerald and all you babes for support and general inanity/insanity) and that it is likely to be when i let my guard down that the WW sneaks up on me. But for the moment, I am in a good place with it.

Sobriety is also having the most surprising side effects - I have suddenly noticed that I am really looking forward to reading again of an evening. I have spent the last few years reading utter twaddle before passing out going to sleep, and the next day not being able to remember much about what happened in the story but it not really mattering because all the books followed exactly the same well trodden path. Now I am being a bit more adventurous again in what I am reading (not rocket science, mind, but just better written things - I am currently loving the Miniaturist if any of you have read that?) and it is a revelation to be able to pick up the book and remember not only who is who, but what they might actually be contributing to the story. Small triumphs, eh.

Right, off to riffle through wardrobe to see if i can dig out a sexy norky number for Ma do some work. Love to all babes - have a happy day. It is making me cheery and seasonally optimistic to see the daffodils coming up!

Ps Khalisi - you ok, babe? Been thinking of you and hoping you are bearing up after builder-gate?

Morning all. Glad to see a positive bus.

Well done Small and Sweet on 43 days - AMAZING

Mouse well done on reading Nemo - he's getting ready for world book day! Good luck with the interview, I'm sure they will snap you up. I know what you mean by wanting a smile at the end of it and it's time for a change for you

Spanna well done on day 4 . KOKO.

Ma I have a lovely blue/grey velvet dress from French Connection but it's a size 12 and not a large norkage area but you're welcome to borrow it

Off to work after dropping kids at school- made them sprint cos we were late; love to see those little legs going at full speed (theirs not mine). Makes me laugh too cos dh gets annoyed that I'm on the last minute - as if it's the end of the world

Morning, tis me, Mouse

I've done the new thread but we need to fill this one up first! Just so that we don't lose anyone!

By all means go and grab a seat and put it on your 'watch' list but please come back to this thread until it's full.

Thank you lovely Babes. xxx

SHINY NEW THREAD

Morning babes, had some wine in a friend's last night but after 1 glass I went on tea, was just suddenly tired. I have an appointment with a hypnotist on Saturday morning to stop smoking so fingers crossed it works - I smoke way way too much

Sweet you beat me to the new thread, just

Obrigada ditto with the smoking although mine's mostly smoking pot have cut down alot since I'm not drinking so often. Another habit that needs addressing, I can only give up one habit crutch at a time

Fox sounds like you've got Boing what a lovely feeling. Thank you for your lovely comments, I do love my job but it can get tough on the emotions and heart strings. Hope you have a productive day and some welcome distractions along the way.

Ruby like the expression KOKO Hope work's not too hectic today x

Mouse thank you for setting up the new thread

Off out soon with DD1, she's currently singing with headphones on tunelessly

Spanna, I buy a minimum of 40 cigarettes a day (that's €20 daily here in Ireland), I don't have that kind of money to throw away so God knows where I find it .. insert perplexed emoticon . I am 52 and recently diagnosed with overactive thyroid and at one of my check ups they told me I needed to stop smoking (yes, yes every doctor says the same thing!) but with the overactive thyroid smoking can eventually affect my eyesight causing my eyes to feel gritty. So for many reasons I want to stop smoking!

Hi Babes!

Thank you Mouse for the new thread! Already marked my place.
'builder gate'! Sweet jeezus, at my age I have a 'gate'!
Well, Fox will have to see how Sunday goes. I have decided though to go for a run/do a workout, shower and be dressed in proper leaving the house clothes to minimise the intimacy factor.
(not that I wasn't properly dressed. But I previously had 'chill out' clothes on.)

Have a good one, everyone!

Spanna I couldn't resist - there is a 12 year old in all of us that still dashes to bags the back seat!

Obrigada does the hypnotist only do one thing at a time - or could you 'do' wine at the same time? Perhaps the two are linked. I will be really interested to hear how it goes.

Small, you have definitely 'got the boing'. Yah! Yes indeed, 43 days.

Ruby I hope you made it in by the bell!

No idea Sweet, if it stops me smoking I will definitely investigate

You can't beat "chill out clothes" Khalisi

Sweet and Obrigada - when I had hypnosis years ago for smoking (it worked, was on 40 a day and stopped overnight, albeit I transferred my affections lock stock and barrel to Nicorette much to DP's disgust) the hypnotist was very strict that it was a one thing at once type of affair. Mind you, he may just have been stringing me out for more cash. I tentatively asked if he could deal with alcohol as well as fags and he looked at me like I was a hopeless degenerate, and asked which was 'worse' which at the time was the fags. I've often thought about going back for booze (as it were), but I was grumpy at his condescension. Anyway, much more importantly, good luck Obrigada, really hope it works for you.

Khalisi you can have a 'gate' at any age, you know! Though I think we should cut this line of discussion off pretty sharpish, otherwise it risks degeneration and before we know it we'll all be pruning and strimming and cleaning pipes and whatnot all over again. Which I just cannot cope with at this time of day. Seriously, I hope Sunday is ok - sounds like you have a plan.

That's great to hear it worked for you Small .

Waves to all babes (that is if you are all still here and not over on the other thread ).

Afternoon.

Ooh feeling really ropey. Sore eyes, tender skin and headache. Think I will be having an early night tonight.

I'm ok, just taking longer taking thought to adjust to the ADs. It's all good really.

I am just so relieved to be doing this AF. It is so much better. There really is no downside to not drinking.

Sometimes, sitting at home listening to radio and laughing your head off is just what you need! (well, what I need!)

Fox close your ears, sweetheart! The big girls are about to talk dirty!

obrigada chill out clothes are wrong with my builder because that is sooo intimate! At least I was wearing a sports bra!
I'm very proud that yesterday the most important thing was making my running group and today having a good time at work and a few hours after!

Hi Sweet, darling. So sorry you're still suffering from the ADs, honey bunch.

Baby How are you, my love? Been worried about you. (I hope I have not missed it if you posted today; that sooo happens!).

ma how is that dress hunting going, babes? I can PM photos of the dresses if you want! (wouldn't want the other babes being disillussioned about me being irresistible when if they find the dresses boring!

Have sent the purple tent dress back. Just dont like it. Won a bid on eBay for a navy one, heavily beaded and more fitted. Hope it fits when it comes. Running out of time.
Sorry not to name check. Am tired and stressed.

When's the 'do' Ma? the dress you ordered sounds nice, are you going to look for a back up in the meantime?

Watch out for your chimney Khalisi

Went to see Kingsmen with Colin Firth (couldn't persuade DD1 to see Shaun the Sheep ) Really enjoyed it
Not so much craving the booze today which is a huge relief very nearly got dressed to go down the shop yesterday Back at work tomorrow until 3 and then I'm off for a week, woop woop huge relief, need a break for a bit

spanna

Good night, Babes. Am exhausted. Have a day off tomorrow so I can sleep in.
xxx

Night all

Hope you all rest well and are energised for tomorrow.

I've got a busy day tomorrow so need to have good sleep.

Have had a large glass of wine tonight. Felt like i'd earned it .

Did a 3 mile walk today and forgot to say I did a 3 mile run on Saturday so I'm very slowly starting to build up my fitness again but not rushing into it. I just end up feeling poorly if I get carried away

Evening, tis me, Mouse

So, Ma my poor lovely friend, what are you going to wear and does it have to be a dress? Could you not wear a nice pair of slacks and a blouse? Or is it dresses only you want? I bet you'd suit a pencil skirt and blouse? Just as a back up if the ebay dress isn't up to scratch? I hope the dress looks lush on you :) xxx

Tomorrow is the last day of the schools here for a week, and I'm really looking forward to spending some time with Nemo and having some of his friends over.

But for now, it's bedtime.

Goodnight my friends, lots of love.

Mouse x

Hi everyone, I'm still here - sorry not to NC but there are too many of you, and I get confused! I'm following everyone's stories and feeling it all with you, though I still feel shy about contributing very much

I'm about to complete my third week sober, and it's all feeling really good. Bought another new dress, on MIL's recommendation (she has a good eye for clothes - doesn't often spend money herself, but she is the cause of a fair bit of spent money by other people ) - it's a lot shorter than I would have thought my podgy pins could let me get away with, but she reckons I've got "very shapely legs" so I took a deep breath and have worn it to work, with black tights and heels as instructed. Feet still recovering, they're not used to such harsh treatment!

I've also spent less than the cost of a single bottle of wine on some OTC stuff to try and whiten my teeth - I've always hated them being quite yellow. It's only been two days but it seems to be working already, woo. Next I get to go and spend the cost of an absolute SHITLOAD of bottles of wine on getting my hair cut and highlighted. Can't WAIT!

Have been making good progress in counseling. My counsellor is a big devotee of examining how the inner child is feeling. My inner child quite often feels hurt, upset, not listened to, and as if the grown ups in her life don't always look after her very well. I'm working on helping her feel heard a lot more often, so she doesn't feel the need to pipe up and try and get me to take care of myself but drinking too much wine.

Feel free to say "Omg what horrific bollocks" btw - I'm not totally convinced of it all myself, but like most models it's just a means to an end, and you only have to believe it as far as is useful for you.

Things are good with DH. He trusts me again. One of his best qualities is that if I promise I'll do something, he believes me entirely and goes with it. If I then fuck up, he's hugely cross but it doesn't stop him trusting me again the next time. Obv, if I fuck up again with the drinking that really will be IT but until then, we are ok. And I'm feeling increasingly confident that I can manage not to fuck this up again.

Oh, and the best news of all is that my counsellor has confirmed that it is perfectly fine and normal to fancy your boss. WOOOOOO validation