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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

If refused sex, does your DP/DH....

110 replies

poppiesinaline · 16/10/2006 18:15

go into a bad mood? I said 'No' to DH last night and now he isnt talking to me This is a common occurrence. His silence can last up to 2 or 3 days - like thats going to make me give him what he wants!! NOT!!!!

Does anyone elses DH/DP do this. Just wondering if this is normal behaviour?

OP posts:

charmkin · 16/10/2006 18:17

thought you were going to say 'w**k 'then!

charmkin · 16/10/2006 18:17

thought you were goign to say 'w**k'then!

charmkin · 16/10/2006 18:18

oops

FrannyandZooey · 16/10/2006 18:18

good gracious

dp would not have said much for the last 3 years if he was in the habit of doing this.

BloodRedRubyRioja · 16/10/2006 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harpsichordcarrion · 16/10/2006 18:19

that's a bit childish...
no, he doesn't and neither do I. very bad psychology on his part, isn't it?
oooh yes sulking, that;s always very sexy isn't it?

Lact8HisLiverWithANiceChianti · 16/10/2006 18:20

Def not normal IME

2 pregnancies and 2 newborns in 3 years have tested this and DP not sulked

NOMurDErousPLUME · 16/10/2006 18:21

Phwoar, whinge again Big Boy !

Lact8HisLiverWithANiceChianti · 16/10/2006 18:21

The more I think about it the more outraged I am on your behalf!

Unbelievably childish of him

geekgrrl · 16/10/2006 18:22

yes, sulks for the rest of the evening & next morning or goes off into a full-blown argument about how frigid I am.
Also thinks I'm totally unreasonably for asking him to be discreet about nipping off for a w*nk and to at least wait until I'm asleep.

harpsichordcarrion · 16/10/2006 18:22

oooh I love it when you behave like a spoilt brat.
makes me want to toss my underwear aside with gay abandon.
I THINK NOT.

Alibaldi · 16/10/2006 18:24

Mine said he gave up trying because I said no once . He sulked too big time. Another one who had two little ones in 2 years. Ho hum but hey I was never allowed to get tired was I. Different for him when he was jetlagged.

satine · 16/10/2006 18:25

I have def noticed that saying yes means that he's in a very good mood the next day but saying no does make him snappy. And if I put a bit of effort in and dig out the old Agent Provocateur stuff he's even been known to take the kids out all day and leave me to lounge about!!!

Original poster

poppiesinaline · 16/10/2006 18:31

yes, very childish I thought too. I have told him he is far better shrugging it off and be extra nice to me the next day- he is far more likely to get his wicked way He obviously has not listened

OP posts:

Pinkchampagne · 16/10/2006 18:34

My sisters husband is very much like this. He has a very high sex drive, she doesn't, & when he tries it on & she is not in the mood he sulks!
She claims that sex issues are the cause of the majority of their arguments.

Original poster

poppiesinaline · 16/10/2006 18:36

He just called to let me know he is on his way home - like I care! He was very frosty with me. I told him to finish his tantrum - I have enough tantrums to deal with each day with DS2 . He said that I knew what to do to stop his tantrum Yeah like he can wish!! Anyway, I dont give in to tantrums

OP posts:

BloodRedRubyRioja · 16/10/2006 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charmkin · 16/10/2006 18:38

sorry to be flippant

i have forgotten how to do it is so long since we've bothered. BUT I do think that sometimes it is worth just getting on with it to keep their tiny little egos happy. I know that's not v feminist and don't slam me for it.

This is from someone who hasn't bothered and whose relationship is suffering somewhat because of it.

It's when they stop trying then you have to worry IME

satine · 16/10/2006 18:45

You have a point, Charmkin. I reckon that the more you have sex, the more you want it. Even if I think I'm too tired or just not in the mood, if I grit my teeth for the first 30 seconds, I enjoy it as much as I used to before kids, and I'm really glad I made the effort. But that doesn't mean that the sulky behaviour isn't incredibly childish!

BloodRedRubyRioja · 16/10/2006 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

satine · 16/10/2006 18:46

Munz · 16/10/2006 19:03

DH doesn't sulk - but like u lot, I find it's a bit like ironing really - can't be bothered to do it - know it has to be done, and gets better when the end's in sight lol.

(now we've made the effort hoping it continutes thou)

Original poster

poppiesinaline · 16/10/2006 19:05

TBH I normally do just 'oblige' because I generally find its better just to let him have his way than to put up with this awful behaviour if I refuse him. But I always end up feeling crap afterwards because I just feel 'used'. And if my 'performance' isnt up to scratch he gets in a bad mood anyway

Last night, I thought, sod it. Why do I keep putting myself through this??

We do have sex which we both want at some point during the month which is fab so its not like he is never getting it iyswim

OP posts:

BloodRedRubyRioja · 16/10/2006 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

poppiesinaline · 16/10/2006 19:07

Last night, I thought, sod it. Why do I keep putting myself through this??

We do have sex which we both want at some point during the month which is fab so its not like he is never getting it iyswim

OP posts:

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