Do I give this guy a second chance?

[pollypocket99]

I met a guy online on a dating site recently. Emailed, texted and chatted for a few days a bit before meeting up. First date we went for drinks, second date for dinner and third date at his for a DVD and takeaway. Didn't kiss until third date, all very well behaved. He was due to come to mine for dinner this week and called the day before to check we were still on. I bought food specially and prepared most of the meal in advance to save time that evening - I didn't prepare a lavish feast or anything, just didn't want to be stuck in the kitchen when he arrived!

Two hours before he was supposed to come round he sent me a text saying he couldn't make it, and he was "gutted but hey" and sorry. I replied saying "ok these things happen, thanks for letting me know". Tried to keep it quite casual and not clingy, even though I was quite cross and disappointed.

I suppose I was a bit suspicious about why he wasn't coming - a couple of my males friends are adamant he had another date, particularly as he messaged me later that evening just saying that he hoped I didn't think he didn't want to see me. Which to be sounded like him trying to keep his options open.

I didn't reply as I didn't know what to say. He messaged me a couple of times over the next few days asking about my silence and did that mean I didn't want to see him again, as he would leave me be if that was the case. I gave in and messaged back saying I was just a bit cross as I'd made the food already and he'd not given me a good excuse for why he was cancelling. I said it wasn't the end of the world and I hoped he'd had a good week. He has replied saying "I'm not into high maintenance. I don't mind chasing and making someone feel special (I know I was wrong). Where do we go from here?"

I've had differing opinions from people ranging from "he's obviously a player" (he did admit to me that he was in his younger days, maybe he's not changed after all) to I am being too hard on him and should give him a second chance but that's all.

What do I do?! I think I am being cautious as I have been badly hurt before and was in a emotionally abusive relationship for a while so am now quite wary. Need some perspective on this!

Perhaps there's nothing lost by one more date to help me decide?

Perfect reply!

Good luck to him, with that attitude

Oh my goodness, he's not given up - two messages tonight: "I was a d*ck" and "missing your banter". What a charmer

Oh dear, night out not yielded what he wanted, I wonder? You can just ignore now, though, having made your point gracefully before.

Ha ha so it is insult with i miss you. Weird!

stand firm.

remember that horrible term he used

HIGH MAINTENANCE

you'd be forever questioning yourself.

Agree with the poster who said to reply politely. Tell him you're not interested, thank you very much. No need for blocking, game playing or rude messages.

Polly that was a perfect reply and what I'd have done. He's not used to not getting his own way!

Are you going to block now or reply 'sorry, who is this?'

Try something like

""High maintenance" you cannot bear?
You meant "disobedient" there.
I've told you politely
To fuck off move on, quite rightly.
Twats like you sadly aren't all that rare."

Nope no second chance. I gave third fourth n fifth chances to a cock like that n he never changed over the 5 months I was seeing him.

I've now met a lovely guy who turns up when says he will, makes no excuses and doesn't make me feel bad about way I am. It's called respect and if he cares he will treat you right.

What a pp said is true, this 'shtikk' works for him usually. You can tell. He thinks he is the prize .

I wonder has he joined up the dots and deduced that this has happened because he cancelled with an hour's notice when OP had shopped and cooked for him, never provided a good excuse and never apologised.......... I would like to think that there is hope for mankind and that this specimen will have figured out that that behaviour is shabby. Am I too optimistic?

Totally agree chaseface, he'd get off on thinking somebody had bothered to write a poem.

block him now.

I tried to YouTube the perfect bit for you to channel, but haven't had any luck.

Willow (as a vampire) saying "Bored now". The black leather, the attitude, the sheer bored-ness of it all. Channel that.

Agree, ignore now. Should he actually ring I'd go with. 'Oh, it's you. I thought you'd have moved on by now'

How about "Yeah, I'm too high maintenance for you buddy. You wouldn't be able to keep up."