About his anger problem OP - who else does he get this angry with? His friends, family, work colleagues, strangers in the street, people in shops, his boss, other men bigger and stronger than him?
Or is it just you?
Because all of those people will 'wind him up' at some point. Does he manage to control his temper around them even when they 'push his buttons'? If he does then he doesn't have an anger problem.
He is choosing to be angry with you because he knows that it helps him control you. You will back down, you will forgive him and you will change your behaviour to try and please him, to avoid upsetting him and to keep the peace.
Unfortunately for you, he doesn't want that, so no matter how hard you try he will keep pushing you, keep testing you, keep controlling you and it will get worse and worse.
Of course as your dd grows older, she will be under his control too. He will also get angry with her. He already pretends that he doesn't see or hear her distress and blames you for his actions making her unhappy. This will also continue to get worse. Can you imagine her life as a teenager? It doesn't sound like it will be very happy for her does it.
Also, whilst it is true that he is following the script, you are also making those same, very predictable choices. To try and change him, to try and change yourself, to work on the relationship, to keep your family together, etc. Whilst this is understandable you should also realise that it is extremely common. Most women do not walk out straight away, it takes a long time, lots of planning, lots of reading up and finding out about abusive relationships, lots of support and, eventually, the dawning realisation that there is no other option.
So whilst you may not realise it right now, everything that posters are telling you is true. Your relationship is no different to hundreds of others in the same situation. You could stay with him forever but you will probably be very isolated and unhappy. You dd and any further children you might have may become estranged if you won't distance yourself from him and, effectively, choose him over them.
The happy ending that you are looking for is extremely unlikely. Especially if you keep accepting his behaviour and believe his false promises. Action is needed as a catalyst to change. A trial separation whilst you both get counselling would be a good option for you right now. Once he is away from you, the fog might start to clear and you will see the situation you are in more clearly.
It's unlikely that he will agree to this as it's for your benefit, not his. But you never know, it might be worth a try? Sorry for the long post, hope you keep reading all the great advice from pp's and I hope that 2015 is the year that you can make positive changes for yourself x