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Original poster

Is this cheating ?

127 replies

Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 20:42

Man and woman cuddling, holding hands, general touching and kissing on the cheek. They are both married.

OP posts:
CheeseBuster · 20/12/2014 21:35

I would feel cheated on if DP did this to me.

Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 21:36

Just work colleagues but everyone drunk and no one said anything.

OP posts:
mandy214 · 20/12/2014 21:40

I think your statement that you only stopped because of what your H would think is quite telling. Not because you knew you should stop or respect your marriage vows.

But just stop and think. Is this a blip? Is the colleague, who was feeling the arse of a married woman at a xmas do, worth splitting up your family for?

AcrossthePond55 · 20/12/2014 21:40

It's wrong. It's cheating. Anything that gives to another person that which should only be given to one's spouse is cheating. Just ask yourself; Is this something that I would do with XX walking down the street in broad daylight? In front of my spouse? Then you shouldn't be doing it!

As far as this man, frankly, I'd just act as if it never happened. No 'explanations', no 'I'm attracted to you but'. If he brings it up or tries to come on to you just move away and say "What happened was a big mistake. One I don't intend to repeat".

Workplace 'crushes' can be controlled. Give it a try. You can admire a good-looking man or think that someone who is very nice and personable is attractive without 'crushing on them' (stupid phrase!).

ShipwreckedAndMerrilyComatose · 20/12/2014 21:41

But what if they do say something, lilac?

Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 21:43

Easier said than done Mappcat ! I think the signs were there, he never talks to me about his wife or DC, in fact he has subtly slagged her off a few times ! I've been out with men like him before, they don't make me feel good about myself

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 20/12/2014 21:43

Of course it's cheating. It wasn't just holding hands.

Joysmum · 20/12/2014 21:44

If you couldn't tell your DH because it's hurt him then it's cheating.

If this was my DH it would irreparably damage our marriage as I'd never be able to trust him after that.

Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 21:44

They won't none of them know DH

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 20/12/2014 21:44

OP you don't like your dh much do you Sad

deserttrek · 20/12/2014 21:45

I have a hunch, and I could be wrong.
That Lilac is still in love with husband.
Just this man reminded her of their early days.
Am I right, Lilac?

chemistc · 20/12/2014 21:45

Sorry but yes it is cheating. Sorry but if you were in love with your other half this would not have happened. That is not to say you are a bad person or anything.

Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 21:45

why's that faire ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 21:46

Yes desertrek I am.

OP posts:
deserttrek · 20/12/2014 21:47

Well I was going to bed.
But this just got interesting, in a good way.
So, Lilac, please just answer my question.
You know that you didn't.
Smile

Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 21:48

He doesn't really ? maybe the excitemeny

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 20/12/2014 21:49

Because you cheated on him Lilac. You are not thinking about his feelings here at all. Or are you one of the 'it doesn't matter if he doesn't know about it' brigade?

deserttrek · 20/12/2014 21:55

Oh!
That's what I meant.
Its always the excitement in the early days....
We all want that....haha......there is nothing wrong with you.
But look for it in your DH, rekindle it again.
It's easier to do that, than start again. And deeper too.
Start in little ways, feel good about you.
Let him notice, he will respond, and soon you will be 21 year olds again.
Let this experience be a mere catalyst, a flicker, to make it work all again with DH, but otherwise put it in the bin.
You love DH, are still in love with him, make it all work now......
:D

Mappcat · 20/12/2014 22:10

Sorry, I still don't think it is cheating! I would obviously be hurt if my OH did the same, but it could be much, much worse. I think it is what the OP does next that is key. Just remember, that if you feel this guilty now, taking it further would certainly be very bad. You have decisions to make -- if you know that this man wouldn't make you feel good about yourself, then it really isn't worth taking any further whatsoever.

deserttrek · 20/12/2014 22:13

Mappcat, maybe being hurt in this way is cheating.
For some of us.

Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 22:18

With regards to the other man I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen, be professional and polite but no more. If any other colleagues talk about it I'll laugh it off as how drunk I was, it was all a laugh. They probably won't though.

OP posts:
deserttrek · 20/12/2014 22:21

And the other man?

deserttrek · 20/12/2014 22:22

The man you are in love with.

Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 22:23

Also the other man was dancing with another girl and I could feel myself getting jealous ! I felt so bad in every way about that, mainly that I sm pathetic Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilacflower · 20/12/2014 22:23

My DH ? Not tell him, keep working on issues and hope it goes away ?

OP posts: