Hi,
Just wanted to get some objective opinions on my relationship with my husband. A bit of background - we have been together 10 years, married for four. He is a very strong character and often talks about himself as 'the name', he is non-compromising and is very self-assured, confident.
We had a LDR and despite us only dating for 6 months he had the phone numbers of my close work colleagues/friends. I was teaching so always had my phone on silent. If I didn't reply to a text or answer a call he would call my friends to see if I was with them and check I was ok.
I wont catalog every incident as I fear it would become war and peace, only the incidents that have really made me doubt things.
The second major concern was during an argument we had where I swore at him and he grabbed me by the throat and told me to never swear at him again. This is the only time he has been physically abusive.
Then there is not letting me socialise with friends on my own. There was this one awful occasion where I had a reunion with 5 gf's from Uni and he came along. I felt so humiliated like I was a child not allowed out on my own. Not being willing to see my family as they live too far away and he gets too tired with all the travelling.
During my PhD if I needed to work late in the lab or at the weekend, he would come with me, this made me feel like shit because I felt so guilty about having to work on my PhD outside of his 9-5pm hrs.
The latest big thing was him not allowing me to take a job I really wanted as he was not willing to relocate despite not having a job himself.
There is a whole more examples I could write here, including me trying to commit suicide knowing that there is no way out, being in counselling, going to RELATE and being in contact with LWA.
I don't know what I am asking for..... this recent thing has perhaps opened my eyes to how selfish he is.