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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread 84.

999 replies

MadeMan · 15/12/2014 17:36

Well, fancy seeing you here. Smile

OP posts:
gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 11:07

Jesy You seem like a strong person, very caring for others.Alot of people are sad about being alone at Xmas. I have my kids to keep my spirits high plus wine and loads of chocolate.

Blossomflowers · 19/12/2014 11:14

Gotta We have been separated a year now, seems odd he had not told his family. X and I have a very strong bond, we are spending Xmas together.
Not sure goof idea to ask MT any off those things, are you thinking there is a problem?
Yes beginning to get fed up with MR builder, his loss I am not going to chase anyone

newstartforme · 19/12/2014 11:17

Hi all, we its a brighter me today..
Im the one who had a nasty time of it with Mr Rubbish. The swine was lying about everything including the fact he was seeing another woman or even women..
So now I have drawn a line under him. The whole experience really did upset me.. Partly as I think it bought back past hurt and rejections.
I refuse to let it stop me from finding a good guy.
I have a date lined up very soon. He seems nice, nice picture and nice text talk but he also looks different to my usual type.. Am not sure we will have a connection but and this sounds awful he is a distraction. At the very least I should have an enjoyable few hours.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 11:46

Blossom I wont ask in outright. I have ex on Christmas and I don't know how I will feel, felt terrible last Xmas after drunken sex with ex.

newstartforme · 19/12/2014 11:54

Blossom dont chase him! I made that error and look where that got me. I also ignored niggling doubts that I had. I was aware I was doing that but I was on some stupid chemical lust infactuation drive! also my ego was too big I though no way will he be looking elsewhere.

gotta it sounds like things are going well for you at the moment.

Blossomflowers · 19/12/2014 12:00

gotta My X is staying over for Xmas. We did our Xmas shopping together, it is mad. What does MT think about you spending it with your X?
new no fear will not be chasing him. I have become quite hardened to OLD, kind of assume that everyone is telling a pack of lies untill proven otherwise. Sad but true

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 12:04

Blossom I told MT but its too early for him to say anything. If I did get into a serous relationship then I soul need to be more distant. A few months back Ex asked if I was dating and I told him I had been on a few dates. He got a bit weird for weeks afterwards. Maybe he was just processing the fact I was spending time with other men.

Blossomflowers · 19/12/2014 13:00

MY X tells me he wants me to meet someone else and did that when we were together. I know he does care actually but it really annoys me when he says it.

dippinmytoe · 19/12/2014 13:01

gotta my exh told me that he wouldn't be one bit happy if and when I got a guy , despite him on girlfriend no4 or 5 and we are divorced..... can't wait to drop the bombshell that I'm seeing someone !!

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 13:39

Dippin My exh wanted the family, he's a brilliant dad, he didn't want to put any effort into the relationship. I am not looking forward to telling ex, he might get difficult.
Major T picked me up Wednesday and kissed and hugged me outside my house. I was worried the neighbours might see. My ex lives up the road from me, he got upset that I didn't want him to have a spare key to my house.
MT said he wanted to close pof but he's still on. I'm not going to bring it up but I wont close my profile down if he's is still on.
Not keen on all this in the beginning stuff, he wanted us to be a couple, he might have eggs in his basket :)
I find it so hard to trust men from old.

Docmartensanddungarees · 19/12/2014 13:43

Gotta he's probably waiting to see if you delete yours! I also hate this about OLD.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 14:05

Doc Also he is suggesting coming to mine on Sunday and working up a appetite before going out for lunch. I work the other way round, for me foreplay starts in my head and I would rather sit and chat in a pub and then bedroom. For a man who has sexual anxiety , he seems on constant arousal mode.
Takes me a while to get into a man and build trust, feels like he's rushing ahead.When I mention getting to know each other better he says he already feels close.
I am going to put my foot down regarding Sunday, I will suggest meeting I local first for lunch and chat. I may get prickly if he doesn't listen. I find it hard to speak up sometimes and end up anxious.

dippinmytoe · 19/12/2014 14:19

I get that too gotta neighbours seeing etc, I've just had to deal with that in the last couple of weeks. The guy I'm seeing had to wait 15 mins outside in car last night , as my babysitter hadn't arrived and one of my children was still up. The beginning bit is always a worry ... I am off all dating sites, he came off too. my gut says this guy is genuine and really nice, I hope I'm right.... I thought my exh was nice too Confused

Blossomflowers · 19/12/2014 14:21

gotta he sounds like he something to prove to you. Of course lunch and chat first and if he is lucky some bedroom action. Presume your kids are @ their dads this weekend

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 14:41

DipI lack confidence in my judgement about men, been out of the dating game all of my adult life until this year. My last relationship chipped away my ability to speak my mind.
Blossom My dc stay with exh every weekend. MT has two jobs, no night dates yet. I will tell him that I will meet him at pub and insist, if he gets pushy I will tell him I am not keen on him just coming round for sex and that's not how I work.
I'm not going to be with another selfish man, Wednesday MT was nice and gave me a lift into town but was eager to come back to mine to dtd without having lunch. Ended up too late to grab food to eat together,I felt moody because i was hungry and tired. Wish I had insisted on lunch first, but tbh I also wanted to see if it was possible to dtd what with MT anxiety.
At the moment I'm in doubt until I see how Sunday turns out.

Rioux · 19/12/2014 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 15:42

Rioux I don't know what to think, will have to see. Need a list of red flags to go along with dating rules.He said he thinks the world of me, talk is cheap :) or am I being harsh.

Blossomflowers · 19/12/2014 15:45

Rioux Exactly, I liked him but hey ho. I need someone who is going to make time for me and make a huge effort.
Not heard from mr Football today.
As much as it would be fun to go out on a date this weekend I really need to get ready for Xmas

MadeMan · 19/12/2014 15:57

"He said he thinks the world of me, talk is cheap"

Exactly; anyone can say that.

I reckon some people think of online dating as a way to get an instant girlfriend/boyfriend straight away, without having to do all the getting-to-know-you stuff like in real life; a bit like a quick 'n' easy microwave dinner in minutes, compared to a slow sunday roast in the oven that takes hours.

Internet dating is up there with fast food and online shopping; we see what we like and we want it NOW dammit!

OP posts:
Blossomflowers · 19/12/2014 15:59

It feel like that made

ordinarybloke · 19/12/2014 16:10

Another man here. I do not think there is a right time to dtd-it just has to feel natural fo both of you. If there are issues for one or both of you, then like everything in a good relationship the important thing is to be able to talk about it. But,especially with dtd,this is often easier said than done. I would not be happy if a woman was not happy with things but did not let me know.

Things could be getting tricky with me and dating. First there is Ms. Cobra.due to clashing commitments we have only had one date. It was nice but she talked a lot and I could not get much of word in edgeways,but that might have been due to her nerves. We parted with a peck on the cheek. Since the date we exchange emails couple of times a week.

Then there is Ms. Blue. Three nice dates.after the last date we parted with a full blown snog (with tongues).we exchange emails four or five times a week.

And finally there is Ms. Nails. Just one nice date.we parted with pecks on cheeks. Since then we whatsapp most evenings and out of the three women,she is the most full on (which I like).

I will be seeing Ms, Cobra and Ms. Blue after Xmas, Ms. Nails tonight.

Depening how it goes tonight I might have to stop seeing Ms.Cobra.

Have you lot got any dates lined up for the weekend?

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 16:14

On the money Made, I definitely want to get to know MT but he thinks we are already close. For all he knows I could turn into a lunatic once a month :)

MadeMan · 19/12/2014 16:17

"For all he knows I could turn into a lunatic once a month"

Just tell him you suffer with lycanthropy and that there might be some trouble during a full moon. Smile

OP posts:
jesy · 19/12/2014 16:29

Tar rioux

We will see don't think it will happen tbh and if I'm honest I'll be gutted

gottafindaman4yagirl · 19/12/2014 16:35

On our third date I told him I wasn't perfect and got really bad PMT, I'm not that bad but was fed up with the comment.
Funny Made
He's gone on a lot about the other day we dtd. Wonder what name he's got for me :)

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