The Dating Thread 84.

[MadeMan]

Well, fancy seeing you here.

oh, i just been asked ON MATCH
' how much for sex'

vintage no difference on paid sites or free sites for twats !!

I hadnt done a paid site for years, as i know that really.
People still say that a paid site is better and people are more serious about finding a relationship.

Really isnt the case at all, is it.

I get the most insults on match
No emails at all on pof ( im guessing im filtered out on many searches as im over 35, a single parent and on the plump side )
and tons of matches on tinder

ive deleted my pof. Will stay off match for the rest of my free 3 days, bar checking they have responded to my email reporting the guy

and just stick with tinder.

Do you all generally think it's a good idea to talk on the phone before meeting someone?

I don't usually like talking on the phone first. I find it awkward, and also I don't find it's a good way of finding out if we'll get on in person. Recently someone suggested talking on the phone and I said I'd rather not. I prefer to exchange messages for a while and then do a quick-ish meet (coffee, lunch, drinks) to see if there's chemistry, etc.

But it seems from what I've read on here that people generally think it's a good thing, and I'm wondering if I've been unfair by refusing to talk to this man on the phone.

andcat I too hate talking on the phone .. drives me mad. I prefer a few messages , quick meet up and then decide. The ones I have spoken to on the phone turned out to be the worst dates I've had after

"I prefer to exchange messages for a while and then do a quick-ish meet (coffee, lunch, drinks) to see if there's chemistry, etc."

Yeah this is what I used to do a few years back. I used to swap numbers in case of change of plans or lateness, but I just used to message on website and then meet up.

i used to feel the same with the messages, but honestly, i just dont care to keep going on quick coffee dates, it is just endless.

You cant tell from a phone call if you will get on, but you will get more of an idea and will be able to weed out the ones that arent worth your time for a coffee.

course, if you have plenty of free time and a handy coffee place near you that doesnt require much effort nor car parking charges, then go for it.

I always speak on the phone before a date.

First text from X, gritting my teeth.

Hello! Hope everyone had a fab Christmas & New Year!
I took some time out from dating but now back on OKCupid. Had a pub date Fri eve & we had lunch together yesterday. He's nice BUT really full on like an over excited puppy He's deleted his profile, wants to meet up asap, hes even offered to help decorate my house, clean my car ... stocked up his fridge with wine that I like. I've told him to 'calm down'.

IMno hello there. This has happened to me a couple of times last year and I find it so off putting. One even told me he loved me after 1 date.

Oh Lord, Blossom !! How's the NC with ex going?

Well had second text today and still gritting my teeth. Has bought me loads of cat food. He stayed here all Xmas acting as nothing had changed then Xmas over he is back at his place, doing my head in.

AndCat I used to be really averse to phone calls too, but if someone was keen I'd agree to it. I've actually come round to the idea and, if I'm messaging a woman and we can't meet for a coffee quickly, I would prefer one or two phone conversations rather than just texting indefinitely. Looking back, the women I've spoken to on the phone first (with the exception of the two who only wanted to hear my voice to prove I was a woman), and really got on with, as in talking for hours, have been the ones that I've had a real connection with when we met in real life.

Blossom I hope NC is successful.

I'mnot that sounds a bit scary, red flag?

"Has bought me loads of cat food."

Yum yum [rub tummy]. I'm assuming you have cats Blossom and he's not bought it for you to spread on toast?

Ha ha Mad yes 3 lovely cats. I presume is is his way of being nice, sadly going NC is hard as he has to drop DS home each day.

Yeah, he's probably thinking Blossom that you can't not like a man who is nice to cats, so he's courting favour with your moggies to get them on his side.

Cats are fickle little sods though, one of them has decided X is the best.

You could try sprinkling some pepper on your Exe's clothes (mainly his trousers); I don't think cats like pepper.

Dippin Kids definitely make it difficult dating and especially a new relationship. I have two dc and they are with exh every weekend, MT has his kids every other weekend. MT wants mw to meet his kids next weekend and stay over his, I'm a bit nervous about it for some reason, maybe too soon ? Been dating just over a month.
I'm sure I don't want him to meet my two dc yet, my exh might get odd and become difficult so I don't want to stir things up. Not until I'm sure.
Raspberry The beginning is difficult, MT is texting me daily, we do sexting but no genital pics. We haven't spoke on the phone yet but tbh I have two dc around me and i don't want them listening in.
I am trying not to get too emotionally involved at the mo, its hard and I want to let my feelings develop but I need to know more about MT first.
I get bored with texting and its hard to judge sincerity. With my exh we just texted to ask a quick question or if running late.
But I think effort to communicate I the early stages is important to build up the relationship.

I did a month with Match and it was rubbish.

Yep gotta dating and kids hard... He won't meet my kids till at least 4 or 5 months down the line or even 6 months... It could all go pear shaped next week and the kids don't know a thing

What made Match worse was they used to have this crappy advert boasting words to the effect of, "Find love in 6 months or get your money back". Then they'd have picture of couples that had supposedly met their true love on the website.

I always thought it's like those bingo winners in the tabloids toasting their win with champagne; it could be fake and they might just get paid 20 quid to do a photo because we don't actually know that they won anything.

Dippin Meeting kids is a big thing and I need to be very sure before it happens.
Imnot MT is the same, very keen. I'm not getting too carried away, he's more in lust than love but he says Love. I think its just good sexual chemistry at the mo.
Happy to not be doing old for now and happy to be getting some sex.

gotta I think I would be thinking meeting his kids too soon. Mr Italian was a talking about meeting his 5 year DD after a couple of months, scared me to death and did not happen.