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Original poster

The Dating Thread 84.

999 replies

MadeMan · 15/12/2014 17:36

Well, fancy seeing you here. Smile

OP posts:
PollyIndia · 04/01/2015 09:52

Jesus, if a cock gets flashed, I am out of there. I am fine with a bit of carry on style flirting and innuendo. Naked genitals, no thanks! I am 39 and ex was 35. 2 exes before that were also younger. But I think I need someone my age or a bit older. Agree completely vintage about proper connection and balanced relationship over looks.

PollyIndia · 04/01/2015 09:54

How old are you jesy?
I am 39 and I don't want to be stuck in, nor am I. And until I got pregnant at 36, I was always out at gigs, parties, festivals. I don't think older means not doing anything, just that your priorities change.

PollyIndia · 04/01/2015 09:54

Assume sulphur means silly and if so, it doesn't sound silly at all. If someone is fun, they will enjoy that at any age, even when they are an oap!

vintagecrap · 04/01/2015 09:57

You don't have to give all that stuff a miss if you go for someone a few years older..

You just have to find the right person.

Up to you though. I just got sick of dating those who still live at home in their early 30 ' s who's lives consist of drinking and gaming.

I want someone who will cut the grass, then kick back and have a bbq with me and some friends without it turning into drunk fest. But then when we do go out, enjoys it too. And brings me a bacon sandwich the next morning Wink

vintagecrap · 04/01/2015 10:00

I'm 36.
If I go to a gig or festival, and i go to a lot. Then I'm the one at the front, just to the side ( avoiding the mosh pit) with her eyes shut and arms madly dancing like Kate Bush.

I want someone to join in with me. Or at least not run off in horror Blush. But then who will do the weekly shop or flick the hoover round.

An actual proper, adult relationship.

PollyIndia · 04/01/2015 10:10

Did you see Kate bush last year vintage? I did - I love her so much! I am a big gig goer and always will be!

jesy · 04/01/2015 10:11

Potential date ppl one is 43 I think and due to be a grandad in next few months ( dog guy)

Other is 42 and has a teen daughter.

I agree with the ones living at home ( even tho I do) I dated some one last year and well it didn't go any further as I refuse to have sexiness a bloody car down a lane lol

Polly I've never been festival ,in the summer was my first live band I'd seen
I wanted to go to the Xmas thing up in bham but no one to go with.
I think sometimes I worry that if I date older ill miss out

Reallyme71 · 04/01/2015 10:13

Vintage very strange and WHY on earth would you send someone that you don't know pictures of your children??

DocMarten sounds like it went well though and you are still keeping in touch?? I would really appreciate someone saying that to me and I think your honesty with each other is very promising.

Polly How flirty is bad news when you haven't met?
Will be interested to see the responses to this; personally speaking, no idea. What constitutes flirting? And what actually is 'Sexting'? When does it move from flirty to that?? Confused

And yes to talking on the phone! It is scary but completely (in my limited experience) worth it.

Jesy I tend to go for younger guys and he same age as me
And perhaps you should not go for a 'usual type'?? For me, I have never gone out with sameage /younger than me, should I let it restrict me in my future choices? My xH was the same height as me (short) , should I rule out anyone over 5'2"?

Fluffy something is not ringing true IMO, perhaps just wait and see? Have you actually met the son?

BadKatie did you go in the end?

Reallyme71 · 04/01/2015 10:22

Haha, complete crossposting, yes , yes to the proper connection and balanced relationship over looks

vintagecrap · 04/01/2015 10:31

Polly, I didn't. I really wanted to but it was a bit out of my price range. Yeah, I always will be too. Took dd to a few day only festivals last year, she loved it so will be repeating it again this year.

With the flirting thing I think it's fine but it can lose context because you can't hear their voice. So, you can think it's a bit of carry on banter, meanwhile he thinks his luck is in. When it crosses the line to sex ting you really don't need a guide as to what that is, it's very obvious.

quirkycutekitch · 04/01/2015 10:42

Hi all just an update - I signed up to match just to see who's on there (bit paid a subscription fee) can't believe you can specify a salary! Confused and what is it with the awful profile pictures?

Original poster
MadeMan · 04/01/2015 10:54

"And brings me a bacon sandwich the next morning."

Bacon sandwiches are vital to any relationship in my opinion.

OP posts:
newstartforme · 04/01/2015 11:58

Hi all :-)
I'm getting so very wary of this on line date ing .. The latest saga was got chatting to a lovely guy in ok cupid. He fitted the bill in lots of ways, fanciable, articulate, funny et c.. We spoke on the phone several times went well . Texted lots. I think my faux pas was the sexting that we did Blush. Instigated by us both really !! Any way we're all set to me meet then bang he tells me I great, he could see himself with me ... But he's not ready for a relationship ! Well I wasn't offering one but hey ho.. Just wondering does anyone have any real luck with this game? I know I won't be doing the text thing again ! Another thing he had only a few months ago split from wife after a nineteen years ! A massive red flag right ?? So tired of it all.

ocelot7 · 04/01/2015 12:18

Btw I go to several festivals every year & I'm in my 50s...Don't write us all off! I'm never the oldest there by far :) but do find it difficult to persuade friends to go too ...a good compromise is to volunteer as a steward so you have some structure [plus much better showers & staff camping] & people to hang out with if you want...and then its free! My favourite is Green Man

avocadogreen · 04/01/2015 13:30

Well the sweet shop approach doesn't really work for me I've decided! Got myself into a right mess with a 2nd date arranged with a bloke who I thought was nice but just wasn't sure there was a spark. In the meantime I got chatting to another bloke who I did really like, so arranged a date with him the following day, though I felt a bit weird about having 2 dates lined up. THEN all of a sudden in my inbox pops a message from a lovely bloke who just ticks all the boxes and just made me think YES I want to meet you! So I made a date with him and then cancelled the other two as I just felt too guilty!

But it looks like it was the right decision as we had a great first date, meeting up again this week, and I haven't felt the urge to have so much as a peek on POF Grin

HanselandGretle · 04/01/2015 13:50

The phone call before a potential date can tell a multitude - good for you vintage that you weeded that one out. The pics of him and daughter thing is really bizarre.

Arrowminta · 04/01/2015 14:01

Yes to a phone call first, I would have cancelled 2 out of the last 3 OLD I had if I had followed this rule.

No to sexting before you have met/and or dtd and maybe even after depending on how you feel about it all.

Yes to feeling like Avocado for a second date. Also add that however much they float your boat and I hate game playing but keep these feelings to yourself for quite a while.

SuperFlyHigh · 04/01/2015 14:10

So if you didn't do a phone call first and also sexted a bit first too is that awful?

I can see how sexting after Dtd may or may not be good. No idea about how my latest dates, meetup went but more and more I get a sinking feeling. He doesn't seem that interested once we've Dtd though if I text he replies and he was keen the day after we Dtd (we spent it together) and wanted to meet up etc. Maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind to meet someone now.

newstartforme · 04/01/2015 14:17

superflyhigh well I did the sexting and we didn't progress to the meeting .. I do think he was being honest with me in that he wasn't ready for a relationship.. But I will not be partaking in sexting again well not at least until I'm sure of them.. I'm not really sure I am in the right place to be doing on line dating all I see are the same faces /players in there constantly ! I'm not even getting contacted by men that I find attractive ! Not saying that I am a goddess but people do say I am attractive ... Is it acceptable for us to contact the men first ? Is one site better than the other ? God I'm so niaeve re this on line dating. Wish it was line the Olden days before all this came about

PollyIndia · 04/01/2015 14:41

Definitely not into sexting. Well, not unless we were in a proper relationship and even then, I don't want to see pictures of genitals thanks very much!
Vintage, you may be right about me thinking it's innocent carry on camping vibes and he thinks something else entirely. Anyway, I am not into constant texting and whatsapping either, not before I have met someone and not even after. So we will speak on the phone next week and see what happens. French chateau guy actually seems quite sweet despite making that ridiculous statement.
Newstartforme, I wish it was like the olden days in that way too. Though am glad I am not pilloried for being a single mother too!
Avocadogreen, sounds like you made the right decision. I think you have to be a bit ruthless.
Ocelot, I love green man. Went when I was 8 months pregnant in the thick mud!

Arrowminta · 04/01/2015 14:47

Re sexting, it's a definite no from me. Each to their own but I don't want to be a free w--k service for any guy, let alone someone I've never even met and decided if I fancy them etc. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

I once cancelled meeting someone who kept asking for more photos. I can understand asking for one selfie, to check that you are the person in the photo's but to ask a second time is a no no from me.

I've only got Tinder activated atm. It's not busy round here except for people visiting and I haven't used it for ages but I'm wondering if I'm shown as active at all as I've clicked yes to a few but no matches, whereas my photo is quite good and when I've used it in the past I've generally got matched. Oh well I'm not wanting to date much so no biggie.

Rioux · 04/01/2015 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MadeMan · 04/01/2015 15:03

"Good point, but as long as the person does not put one type of sauce on because that is what THEY like, and you like the other....."

You mean like:

Brown sauce = of course. Smile

Red sauce = divorce! Angry

OP posts:
avocadogreen · 04/01/2015 15:05

I agree re the sexting.. I had one guy who wanted to move to whatsapp pretty quickly and then started being very flirty and sending pictures of himself in bed... and then his suggestion for a first date was going to his house for a 'cuddle' Hmm

Newstart, nothing wrong with messaging the guy first! Although a tactic I have used previously on POF is to 'favourite' someone I like...it usually makes them look at your profile and then if they like you they will message you... kinda sneaky but it seems to work!

SuperFlyHigh · 04/01/2015 15:06

Re the sexting arrowminta with this man we were just testing the waters to see what the other liked and if we were compatible that way, no genitals pics. Some men like it and initiate it some don't.