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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread 84.

999 replies

MadeMan · 15/12/2014 17:36

Well, fancy seeing you here. Smile

OP posts:
gottafindaman4yagirl · 01/01/2015 19:20

Super I would leave it up to him to ask you, your worth chasing after. I know its old fashioned but I prefer a keen man and further down the line I would suggest date ideas once I knew he was into me.
I am too stubborn to chase a man up, I still have the milf man chasing me. Think he really regrets calling me that.

HelenaDove · 01/01/2015 19:20

Well Superfly how far up the age range do we want to discuss it, When you consider the fact that women normally outlive men we end up on our own anyway!

And there are many people who meet up in older age I know 3 couples where this happened.

Its that kind of scaremongering that leads ppl to panic and settle.

SuperFlyHigh · 01/01/2015 19:23

gotta you are same as me (and agree with avocado too) no way do I want men in bars chatting me up generally and if someone approached me in a coffee shop I think I'd freeze Grin it's not done (British?!) to approach people.

It certainly isn't easy but can be fun dating now and OLD too.

SuperFlyHigh · 01/01/2015 19:24

helena what you say can be true you can meet people out and About but in my experience it's the exception to the rule.

gotta yes I'll leave him to ask me out.

dippinmytoe · 01/01/2015 19:59

Helena you are entitled to your opinion , but why come on the dating thread to really just rubbish us all down the banks !! rioux didn't compare women to quality street .. It is a general term we all use when discussing ond and people keeping their options open.
I am in my late 30s and I certainly wouldn't want to be celibate forever...

HelenaDove · 01/01/2015 21:56

i havent rubbished anyone. And it wasnt rioux who compared women to quality street it was another poster which proves you didnt read the thread properly. There are ppl here who are seeing comments i didnt make. I didnt rubbish anyone for internet dating. I just said it wasnt for me for the second time.

Rioux · 01/01/2015 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelenaDove · 01/01/2015 21:58

I dont expect anyone to be celibate forever. All i said it that i ME ME ME (not referring to anyone else) I ME ME would rather do that than go through the uncertainty of internet dating.

HelenaDove · 01/01/2015 22:00

YES Rioux thats what i meant You arent babbling It makes perfect sense.

Rioux · 01/01/2015 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 01/01/2015 22:10

oh that's nothing Rioux I deleted a whole fucking post!

PeacocksAreLucky · 01/01/2015 22:15

Hello, may I join in, please? Is it that sort of thread?

I have just used NY as an excuse to push myself and get onto a dating site, but I'm a bit nervous and would love to know others are in the same boat. I am a regular MNer, btw, but I'm under a namechange because my some of my RL friends know my usual posting name and I'd like to be able to admit to my spectacular fuckups (anticipated) anonymously. Smile

MadeMan · 01/01/2015 22:39

"MadeMans comments regarding Women and Quality Street read to me that the Online Dating process is like a Tin of Sweets, rather than the individuals themselves."

Exactly, you have to go into online dating with the idea of trying lots of different people and that was the point I was attempting to make. If you only have a particular type (tall dark men, leggy blonde women) and they've all gone, then you are stuck and you'll get disillusioned. If you only like orange cremes and someone eats them all then you are stuck, so try all the chocolates and you might find that you like some of the others.

The problem is that some people never get over the need to keep on looking for something else when they should possibly stick with something they quite like and see how things develop.

Online dating is not romantic; it is functional and serves a purpose. Dates can turn out to be romantic, but the online process of sifting through photos and reading profiles is as dull as job hunting; sometimes just as fruitless.

OP posts:
dippinmytoe · 01/01/2015 22:39

helena you sound like a very bitter person determined to cause trouble... good luck to you... If you are not intetested in dating etc why be on here ?? Sorry we can't all get the names right ... but guess what we are human and make mistakes !!

HelenaDove · 01/01/2015 22:57

dippinmytoe no not at all. You said i rubbished you all.

Please copy and paste my quote from the post where i did that and i will apologise.

Bant · 01/01/2015 23:34

Dippin - I don't think Helena was intentionally trying to be insulting. Granted, she did make references to the attitudes shown on here putting her off dating, but I don't think she meant to cause offence.

I'm wondering why a married woman feels the need to weigh in on a dating thread which she's obviously followed carefully for a long time though, to say it's not for her. As someone with no recent experience of dating, or inclination to do so, I'm not sure that your perspective, advice and input is of much benefit to people here, Helena. I mean, if you have something helpful to say then go ahead and say it, but those who are going through the pitfalls of dating - online or otherwise - for whatever reasons, probably don't appreciate input like yours.

And yes, I know people on the thread are grown ups but some are in vulnerable positions, so I still think people shouldn't date the thread.

Your input, VintageCrap would be valued and interesting if you weren't actually banned from Mumsnet for making repeated personal attacks on other members. And you keep popping up under yet another name, and yes they still know it's you, and yes you'll be banned again shortly. ffs.

dippinmytoe · 01/01/2015 23:42

That is what I wonder about too bant .. why be on here, she's married , said she would prefer to remain celibate if anything happened to husband.. why read or comment on a dating thread !!
old is a crazy world... crazy women and men and some lovely women and men... After over a yr of being online , I have met a fab guy, we just click... He is years older but great !!

HelenaDove · 01/01/2015 23:53

Im sorry if ive upset anyone. It was not my intention. I guess im both surprised and fascinated by the way the dating landscape has changed over a short period of time which is why i read the thread really. The 80s and 90s are still in living memory yet things have changed so quickly. I sometimes think i was born in the wrong era tbh.
im pleased youve met someone nice dippin. And after only just over a year on there is not bad going at all.

Rioux · 02/01/2015 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 02/01/2015 06:12

I

vintagecrap · 02/01/2015 07:06

Bant,

Don't be daft.

If you have a search of my user name you won't see anything contentious.

No personal attacks, nothing.

jesy · 02/01/2015 09:11

Well odd chat time again last night. My first ever bf New gf essaged me on fb to say thank you for talking to him again
And they were back together .
She even invited me out at weekend for a meal saying he's said I don't get chance often , she went on to say whenever to accept I'm still part of his life.

Second on chat was a guy I met on pof before Christmas ,I jokingly said was he still taking me for drink and said thought you were with my date from other night in not I've not heard off him since the am after date and deep down I know he not for me .

Was rl dating any easier lol
Lol

gottafindaman4yagirl · 02/01/2015 09:33

I found old to be helpful for me, really boosted my confidence and helped me to see myself as a women who was not on the shelf or destined to be single forever. I didn't meet any weirdos, did meet some interesting men but its all down to chemistry in the flesh.
I would say with old you find sexual opportunists, time wasters but I'm quick to spot them and block.
I'm glad I did old and like alot of posters on this thread point out, you need to develop a thick skin.
I'm just clueless about men tbh and its great to have a few fella's on here now, even the flirty one :)

SuperFlyHigh · 02/01/2015 09:43

Friday morning back to work.... Grin

Have used the opportunity to ease myself into my working day by emailing a man from Smooch who sounds nice and having a nice chat with a man who I think is Spanish (Spanish Guy?!). Why on earth do some or a lot of men put darling etc in opening emails and kisses? why?! and when they barely know you.

The one thing about MSBE is no he hasn't done that so far on the site - when we text he does do it but that's after he's got to know me. Still last night we swapped NYE plans and he said that was the one time he missed alcohol and told me about his NYR (he'd mentioned them before).

gottafindaman4yagirl · 02/01/2015 11:02

Super When are you seeing MSBE next?
I'm seeing MT Sunday, yet to actually spend time with him on a weekend night, been lunches and daytime dtd.Giving him the benefit of the doubt but otherwise it would be a concern.
I don't do NYR, maybe up my chocolate and wine consumption :)
The kisses thing all men on old do, think they think we like it. I don't like being called babe or hun, it puts me off.