The Dating Thread 84.

[MadeMan]

Well, fancy seeing you here.

Hissy So nice to hear something positive, wish you a very happy New Year.

Rioux How come such a funny man is single.
How come I never got any cock pictures sent me, had a man dressed up in women's clothes, size 14 :)

"WE'RE ALL COMING TO THE RECEPTION "

I'm not; I hate weddings.

Well hello, I've decided to come and join you lot properly instead of lurking as it seems that, despite my best intentions, I am definitely dating...

So, it's ok to date more than one person, right? I'm feeling guilty... I've got a second date tomorrow night with a guy who I got on with really well but to be honest didn't fancy him that much. But I figured he was such a nice bloke and we have a lot in common he was worth a 2nd date... But I've also just arranged a 1st date with a guy who messaged me today on POF on Saturday. So, two days, two dates, is that bad?!

"So, it's ok to date more than one person, right? I'm feeling guilty"

It's fine and probably better to date lots of people at the same time, so don't feel guilty; you don't owe anyone anything early on.

It helps to try all the chocolates in the box, rather than say you only enjoy the orange cremes and then someone eats them all to leave you with just the coconut one.

I think with MT its all just lust and sex, I suggested this to him. Beginning to think he's original sexual anxiety was bollocks.
MT is very sexed up at the moment and I just hope he will calm down, is it normal to be sexting every day.

Having a weird day, got exh over doing DIY for me, told him I would have to find a local man to do DIY for me. He made a joke about me not having money to pay the bloke and would have to come with some other arrangement.
I shouldn't really have him over, feeling weird about situation.
Rioux I'm trying to be good :)

MadeMan ive heard many people say that online dating has made men develop a sweetshop mentality towards dating. You have pretty much rubber stamped it there

Im married but if anything changed i have already made up my mind about dating after reading these threads.

a. I always knew i would never online date. Partly because of the sweetshop mentality. (i aint a strawberry creme or a hazlenut in caramel!
b. Dating has changed too much since i did it. I have been with my husband for 23 years this year. he has health problems and things arent physical between us any more. Its complicated and i dont want to get into it on this thread but MY GOD...............after reading this thread i would MUCH MUCH rather have what i have than be single and dating in this kind of climate.
b. If something GOD FORBID happened to DH i wouldnt date at all. In fact i have been doing a lot of thinking over Christmas and celibacy looks more and more attractive especially after reading these threads. Other men do find me attractive and yes i have made mistakes in the past due to being in the situation that i am in but i wont be doing so again.

Celibacy looks more and more appealing to me the more and more i see of what dating is like today.

Some of the angst of what some of you are going through and some of the attitudes shown here as well as a couple of experiences of my own have finally helped me find peace.

Rioux
It was right guess , can't believe it , I'm sure nowt will come of this .
No word off mr dog or date from other night .

Not only men Helena, everyone. I think a lot of women hold out for the possible better options too.

Made there is no such thing as the perfect woman or man. Everyone has flaws.

Absolutely, Helena, everyone has flaws, but online dating encourages everyone to see who else is out there out of curiosity. I always seem to be reading on dating related threads here on Mumsnet about how "you have to kiss a lot of frogs" and "it's a numbers game" ; this is how dating appears to be these days and flaws are suggested as settling rather than waiting for someone better.

I gave up with online dating in part due to this kind of sweet shop, half-arsed mentality that some people seemed to have with it; it's like they're already thinking ahead to someone else before they've got to know you properly.

Helena I would give up on old and dating but I feel too young at 33 to be celibate, practically celibate when with my exh. I would of stayed with him for companionship but it couldn't work without sex and tbh we were never sexually compatible, met young and kids kept us together and became more like mates.
I'm not keen on the chocolate box thing, like looking at men as penis shaped chocolates with different flavoured soft centers, the kind you get from Anne Summers, that's just awful. Don't you men agree ?

Made you are the one on here comparing women to Quality Street.

"Made you are the one on here comparing women to Quality Street."

It's the way online dating seems to be for everyone; like it or not.

gotta im not saying that you should give up on dating Not at all. Im just saying its not for me not now not EVER.

I used to be obese and lost a lot of weight. (ten stone) i have some loose skin from doing this. Would that be seen as not perfect by some I think it would because ppl seem to be much more shallow these days. Thats just an example.

Im happy and much better off as and where i am Like i said ive made peace with it.

Fine Made. No problem It doesnt affect me because i will never do it.

Helena Beauty is in The eye of the beholder and some people like overweight, some skinny. No one is perfect and I like that. I agree that people are shallow and old is full of people who think they can find someone who will tick all the boxes, be attractive and funny, no baggage.
A lot of the men i went on dates with were in their forties and living back with parents or renting a shared house due to ex having home. This didn't bother me but they were not in the right headspace for a relationship.
The thing is people go on looks first because its natural behaviour, I'm not perfect with having kids I have loads of stretch marks and only my exh can appreciate the changes my body underwent so he could have two dc.
MT is a little annoying when he goes on about my body and being perfect, hate that word.

Helena it's great that you are married and happy, not all of us are lucky enough to be in that situation! I'm 35 with 2 kids and my husband left me in March. I certainly don't want to be celibate for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm still young and I would like to meet someone. And yes I would much rather meet someone in 'real life' but the reality is there isn't much opportunity inbetween work and the school pick up. And while I have lots of lovely friends they are almost all married or coupled up.. they certainly don't want to come out bar hopping chatting up blokes, which is the way I met men in my twenties! So OLD is kind of a necessary evil. I do find it weird but I do think there are some decent people out there. And you don't need to berate those of us who choose to do it

There is some weird shit on this thread lately

helena never say never. If god forbid you were single would you stay single or date again? Because the odds/options of meeting mr nice guy aren't that easy when you get to a certain age as everyone else is coupled up!

Question for you lot. Since I DTD and spent time with MSBE we seem to have rarely texted and me initiating. But now I've thought (cos I'm no good at mysterious!) I just texted him re football (he replied) and before it was yday I've been to ikea, maybe we need to talk more as I was stuck for what to say. And like really I overthink and worry.

So I think I've answered my q but any ideas especially from men? Also is it ok for me to suggest a 3rd date etc? Without sounding too keen

Advocado I'm in similar situation and totally agree with you. Its very hard to find someone in RL.
I don't think its easy to approach people when out and about doing shopping or having a coffee.

Where have i berated anyone who chooses to do it, I havent I have just explained why i wouldnt. And objected to women being compared to Quality Street.

I havent berated anyone for dating at all. I would never criticize anyone else for their choices. Never.