Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

Welcomes Heman and congrats on day 55. I lurked on the dry jan thread occasionally as I only stopped a couple of days before New Year myself. Gave up on the damp Feb one after a few pages as I found it difficult to read. Yes I get that fear of it being 'too easy' and other than the odd shaky day I've not struggled as much as I have before on previous attempts. I wouldn't worry about it. You have plans put in place and you sound on your guard and really positive about it :)

Welcome Heman, I am in the same boat as you by the sounds of it, also on day 55! Never thought I would get here and am really ok with not drinking right now, it's so much easier than moderating. I also worry that I have not had any major cravings yet, I avoided a couple of nights out when I knew drinking was going to be the major event of the evening but apart from that I have been ok. Being on here and having read Jason vales book I do think I have finally seen the light!

Thank you for the warm welcome!

I think there are a couple of reasons why I'm finding it easy at the moment. I have tried moderating before and all manner of weird and wonderful plans to try and get some sort of control (in my head) over my drinking. Also, being dry/sober means I don't have to do anything. I just don't have to drink! I have form for throwing myself into a variety of things only to jack them in because I lose interest.

I didn't realise how much time and energy I devoted to drinking. It's very restful, this sober lark. Sometimes I don't have to think about anything in particular at all. I can just relax .

I have a very definite plan for my big night out on Friday. There are very few and far between here Lucy. I usually launch myself into them like an overexcited puppy. I'm going to have an AF wine/beer while I'm getting ready, my first drink when I'm out will be something like a redbull (thanks for that tip Teapot ) and then onto lime and soda's. This along with driving makes me confident that I'll be fine. I'm also on call from 7am on Saturday (though this would NEVER have stopped me in the past) but it means I don't have to justify it to my friends if I choose not to. I'm afraid that I was the big drinker in the circle of friends (life and soul, first to arrive, last to leave) I'm off out with so there will be others not drinking. I'm quite excited!

Sorry for the ramble. It feels good to be able to chat positively here about being dry.

You sound very organised re. your night out Heman - I too was the big drinker in the group and it's a bit chastening now that I've removed myself from that role to see quite how moderate/non-committal about booze most of my friends are. Crikey, so not EVERYONE is keeping a constant eye on their glass and the distance to the nearest refill point? Just me then?

Good to have you here; we love a bit of positive sober chat we do...

Heman Ace plan - liking the AF wine pre-loading and then Redbull chaser You can be as TSP here as you like and we'll just egg you on

I have a vision of you and I in a restaurant Teapot having a stand off over the wine. That was me too. Even to the point where when a very good friend of mine suggested we share a bottle of wine during a meal at Christmas a snarky little voice in my head said 'you bet your life we'll share it, I shall be watching you lady' . Oh, and trying to pace myself so I didn't drink too fast otherwise I'd be left with nothing. Or have to do the walk of shame to the bar to get myself another and then everyone would know. And then doing it and not really caring because I was drinking.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've ever really relaxed when out. Isn't that awful? If I haven't been drinking or trying not to go overboard because it's not appropriate I've been desperate to get home so I can get stuck in.

I'm off to bed now with a cuppa. I've recently discovered Netflix. Tablets and smartphones are much easier to operate when I'm not trying to focus with one eye closed and the other squinting. Funny that!

Heman - by the Power of Greyskull!!! you are very welcome here! I too find threads where there is moderating (well usually failed moderating) tricky so this place is good. Yup I'm another who was always the person who ordered the last bottle of wine that no one except me really wanted . It's so much more relaxing being out and not constantly assessing my own drinking and other people's. Don't worry that you've found it "easy". I too have found it in some ways "easy". But I never let myself forget that I needed to stop. And that's it's actually a great gift to have realised I needed to stop - and find amazing people on the Internet who have helped me - before things got much much worse.
One thing about being out and not drinking I have found is that I can't consume as much liquid. Without the dehydrating aspect of booze if I match people drink for drink I'd be weeing from now til
Xmas.

Hi all- sorry, I keep falling off the thread. (I made an unsuccessful attempt to give up MN for Lent..... hoping it would help my procrastination).

Welcome Heman! Will go back and re-read and catch up but wanted to get myself back on.

Hi Cornchips!

Hi all, I am new here. I am not sure if I am past helping myself. I won't bore you with my whole life story but I am desperate to stop drinking. I am 27 and first got drunk when I was 11. My parents are both alcoholics and we were bought up in a house where drinking and partying was an everyday thing and it was just normal.
I didn't drink through pregnancy but aside from that I cannot honestly remember my last sober weekend. I drink every other friday, every saturday and sunday. Then one or two days during the week. I will drink 8+ cans of 4% lager on each occasion. (Classy I know).
I guess I had already fallen into the habit before I even realised I had one, now I am struggling to go more than one day without a drink.
I am overweight and suffer from depression and am sick of waking up with that sinking, guilty and embarrassed feeling. I have to stop and now is the time.
I looked for AA meetings but the two I could get to are at times I have no childcare. I have seen this thread before but not been ready to join. But here I am. I can and will do it!
Does anyone have any recommendations of books ect that may help?
I am looking forward to getting to know you all more.

Cojmum welcome :) You've come to the right place, grab yourself a cuppa and try and leave the drinking shame at the door. We'll do our best to support you and as far as books go there are shed loads! Rather than try to list them all I'll just point you here

Heman we are all so alike aren't we? Me too for the watchful drinking, last man standing, can't wait to get home to have more ...
Haggis hello lovely :)
Corn give up MN for Lent?

Hey Cojmum. Your alcohol consumption sounds very similar to mine. Wine was my drink of choice. And then anything would do. I did Dry Jan and haven't had a drink since 31st Dec.

I would suggest that you need A PLAN. I can list what I did if you like? It's still fresh in my mind! Yes to the books Lucy has suggested. There are loads of sober blogs too:

A hangover free life
Tired of Thinking About Drinking
And Everything Afterwards

These are the ones I subscribe to. The soberistas website is good too.

Hello Haggis Hello Cornchips!

I've decided to start writing down the reasons why I needed to stop drinking. And of course the good things about staying stopped too. Feelings aren't quite so raw now there is some distance there. But I think having them to look back on as a reminder will be good if I every think...why was it I quit? I can't quite remember? Nothing fancy. Just a small notebook that I can hide away so no one can see my mad ramblings!

I also have a cupboard in my kitchen where I stuffed all the empty bottles of spirits I didn't want anyone to see . I need to clear it out. It's really bothering me. I shall do it tonight. I've posted this here so I know that I WILL DO IT.

Heman Thanks Ooh tonight is going to be cathartic for you :)
God there are loads of good blogs! My fav's:
Taking a New Path
More To Me Than This
The Sober Girl, Wife and Mum
Mrs D is Going Without
Unpickled
I'll stop there
Plus there is the Living Sober community and Club Soda is good too.
There really is a whole other world developing fast around the subject of alcohol free living and we're leading the charge :)

Thank you everyone. I have NC'd. I should have before I posted. I will look at the blogs and books you have suggested.

If I may say Lucy, your 'Final Drinking Horror' story has stuck with me. I had an almost identical incident. It took me another 7 years after this to stop though. And many more mortifying situations. It's one I'll shall be writing in my little book.

Thanks Heman it helps me to know that it wasn't just me and hopefully helps you feel less shame about it too. Writing it all out is hugely cathartic too :)

Hi ya findme, glad you've decided to join us. Also brought up in a household were drinking everyday was very normal.

I had one of those cupboards too heman, under the sink hidden behind bags. You'll feel so light and free once it's cleared out.

I went far beyond positivity yesterday to that europhic, everything is slotting into place and feels perfect. At one point I could have swore I was high, I had tingles all over and was on the brink of tears with happiness . Very strange but I'll put it down to all those hormones levelling out from stopping drinking and smoking.

Yay brokensleep pink cloud moment! :)
Findme also grew up in daily drinking household where it was very normalised (if you think cans of Special Brew with lunch is normal anyway)

Welcome Heman and findme I was finding reading the Damp thread hard as well - it just makes me want to drink. And I am not going to do that, so I shall stay in here for a bit

I have not had a drink since the one glass on Sat. No desire to, either. So if I deduct the 6 days in Feb I did have 1 glass I have done 50 AF days since the start of the year
Feel so much better now I know if I want to drive somewhere I can, without worrying if I am still over the limit. I never ever drove over the limit - just would never do that ( my Dad used to all the time and I hated it )
but I now realise how many times I did not go somewhere until very late afternoon - because I was worried about being over
That is the best bit about being Dry - now guilt, no shame, no "wtf did I do last night?" no hiding stuff. I feel so much lighter and happier now

And thanks for the link to the books Lucy I have just bought and downloaded a couple to my tablet and also signed up for your course. I am determined to do this. And thanks to Heman I, too, have cleaned out the "stash of shame"

I feel pretty crap today but am determined to keep it up - life HAS to be better than being constantly hung over, doesn't it.

glad Thank you There is a 1:1 support call as part of the course so if you want we can talk further on email, phone or Skype :)
It absolutely IS better than being constantly hungover and I wouldn't still be here doing it 17 months later if it wasn't a million times an improvement

I did 7 months last year Dry and then slipped during Dec. I then did Dry Jan perfectly happily; but then found trying to be Damp at the start of Feb was hopeless. I have tried many many times in the past years to moderate but would always, eventually, go back to necking down extra to whatever we had shared earlier. And yes I have filled bottles with water, Ribena etc, etc and stashed the empties, hidden and wrapped up empties individually to stop them clanking when I moved the bag God I feel so ashamed just thinking about it.

I was never really an obnoxious drunk - just drank alone late at night as a way to kill off my internal horrible thoughts about my past and how unhappy I was. I have a lovely life now (honest!) but have some really bad past stuff which always seemed to need numbing by drink.

Except - all that drink never did change any of the past horrors - just added some new stuff for me to feel ashamed and worried about! And of course the worries about my health and the hangovers occasionally ( I didn't get them often though)

I finally recently faced up to the abuse and general dreadfulness of my early past life and I think that is why I am finally ready to actually stop drinking.

Glad Thank you for sharing your experience. If you did 7 months last year then you know you can do this :)