Strange email on DH's account

[mynameisearl1]

I logged onto DH's email today to check something and I found an email from his female work colleague. It says:
Hi X. Sorry to bother you again but I really need talk to you. Could we chat one evening on FB? Just catch me when you see me logged on. Please do find time and do not ignore me, I know you might feel uncomfortable or so but please, you're a big boy so surely you can talk to me for a while. I really start feeling like an idiot for getting in touch with you. You have to admit that it happens once in a blue moon but even then you seem just not to give a fuck about it. I thought we were friends, but friends should respect each other, shouldn't they?
I am not any threat to you and you know it, I just need to clear up my mind. So please do find some time, I really do not want to lose my respect for you. Hope you and your family are all OK x

He hasn't replied to that message. I looked for other emials from her and found nothing, however her contact is saved into contacts book.

Is it just me being suspicious or is this message weird? I dont know that woman, I only know they worked together at his old workplace. My DH is usually very open about any social media contact, he hasn't password on his phone, I can easily access his FB or email. We have a good and healthy relationship ... or do I only think so?

Sounds like the sender is getting desperate to speak but is trying to appear reasonable in order to get him to FB message. If this is what it's reduced to then sounds like something happened between them but your DH wants no more part of it and has cut further contact. I'd dig a bit as that message would make me uneasy.

He snogged someone at a works do, but isn't the type to be romantic with anyone else? Err, okay

Sounds to me like something happened and he lead her on a bit, and now he's gone cold and she wants answers. You really need to speak to your "D"H.

Op has started this thread and added just one more comment.

And yet the MN mill is grinding away, speculating, imagining, fearing for the worst. I'm just surprised no one has said LTB yet.

LTB

Was he totally committed to your family while his tongue was down someone else's throat, or after?

sigh

She's already said he's cheated once. I don't think it's a big stretch of the imagination to think he's probably done it again.

I think it sounds like they had an affair and now it's over, but she wants to 'be friends' and more, but he ignores her getting in touch.

Sorry :(

Way before that kiss there would have been lots of mutual flirting, communicating out of work , then they had to be isolated together for the kissing to happen. All these little lines get crossed , little lies get told , feelings are hidden. Then it's all condensed into a statement of having kissed someone.

When he told you this it wasn't a confession but a test. Sometimes people do this when they're not happy / feel neglected / aren't getting their needs met. It's a fairly big warning sign and an attempt to draw attention to whatever the problem is. It's often a warning shot that shouldn't be ignored. Also we kissed is often code for we had sex.

I have split up with a long term partner over an alleged kiss. Most people would be very upset about something like that.

OP if you are still there and this is a real situation, you really really need to listen to "selfloathing*

There's a crazy amount of extrapolation going on in this thread! Selfloathing, your evaluation of the emotion behind the writer's peculiar tone sounds highly credible. Sorry you went through that.

For those who are talking about the mn mill, two things. Firstly anyone who posts in this topic knows the score. Secondly to many on here that email seems blindingly obvious, and I for one am keen to see the op retain her self respect and not minimise this. She came on here looking for advice.

I think there is a subtext to this email that is manipulative and threatening.

I don't read it that he has nevessarily had any kind of physical relationship with her. She sounds a bit strange to me- game-playing and controlling. Perhaps he felt she was too close and was using him as an emotional confidante and developed feeling for him he didn't reciprocate and that's why he moved jobs. It sounds as if she won't let go.

Well, that's one possible explanation ^^ but SelfLoathing's sounds about 100 times more likely.

OP, I've commented on this but seriously, given the amount of speculation, if I were you I'd run a mile - don't read the thread! Talk to your husband and come back if necessary. But at the moment? It will mess with your head, walk away.

how are you getting on op?