Strange email on DH's account

[mynameisearl1]

I logged onto DH's email today to check something and I found an email from his female work colleague. It says:
Hi X. Sorry to bother you again but I really need talk to you. Could we chat one evening on FB? Just catch me when you see me logged on. Please do find time and do not ignore me, I know you might feel uncomfortable or so but please, you're a big boy so surely you can talk to me for a while. I really start feeling like an idiot for getting in touch with you. You have to admit that it happens once in a blue moon but even then you seem just not to give a fuck about it. I thought we were friends, but friends should respect each other, shouldn't they?
I am not any threat to you and you know it, I just need to clear up my mind. So please do find some time, I really do not want to lose my respect for you. Hope you and your family are all OK x

He hasn't replied to that message. I looked for other emials from her and found nothing, however her contact is saved into contacts book.

Is it just me being suspicious or is this message weird? I dont know that woman, I only know they worked together at his old workplace. My DH is usually very open about any social media contact, he hasn't password on his phone, I can easily access his FB or email. We have a good and healthy relationship ... or do I only think so?

You laughed at your DH snogging another woman

So why are you bothered this time, if he's done it again?

Oh dear, this is my day for being wrong! I was going down the 'could be work related' route until your update, earl. While I was being badly bullied at work, I sent some pretty strange emails asking colleagues for support or intervention, as I knew my boss was intercepting my messages. I didn't want to give anything away and had already been labelled 'mad, unhinged & desperate' by the corporate hierarchy.

But, basically, you've given him permission or approval to snog people from work while pissed. Not all of them will shrug it off as easily as you, unfortunately.

I think what we all suspect is that actually you didn't find it funny. You felt under pressure to "put it all behind you" and "move on". Perhaps you felt pressure to be "cool" and "not insecure".

We're here when you want to talk.

Id just go onto FB Chat and see if there is any message history between them.

And after that I'd confront your dh. When was the email sent?

It's the snog-ee and she didn't see it has just a drunken snog.

If I found out my dp had snogged someone while drunk at a work do, I would consider that as cheating, and our relationship would be over.

Why don't you e-mail her back "I don't know what you're talking about" or similar and see what she says?

If he finds out you replied, laugh it off and say you found her message, thought the lady sounded a bit mad and your curiosity got the better of you? (Obviously depends on what she writes back though)

Does he work away 'once in a blue moon'
Is he a 'big boy'?

I think he made a pass at her and she turned him down, she wants to stay friends his pride is hurt, is that why they don't work together now? I would put money on her being the drunken snog...hope not though OP good luck sorting it out...

It's a very odd message, isn't it?

Something happens between them once in a blue moon but even when it does, he doesn't seem to give a fuck about it. He then ignores her and she finds that disrespectful. She isn't a threat to him but she wants him to talk to her because she has things she needs to say.

I don't want to jump to conclusions because I suppose it could be a few things - it could even be that they chat once in a blue moon and she thought they were friends but he doesn't seem to give a shit about the friendship - but you do need to ask him about it because one of the possibilities is not very nice.

He's committed to you and your dc but he snogged a woman at a works do?

The two things don't go together OP.

I would not be at all amused if DH kissed someone else, certainly wouldn't laugh about it with him...

The email is very odd & the only way you'll get context is to ask him about it.

I'm also guessing she is the snogger and it happens once in a while rather than just a one off.

Oh dear. Really? You now find it funny that he kissed someone else?
I'd be upset, personally.

OP hasn't been back for a while

hmm
he is shagging her op

That is an email from someone who felt they had someone special with someone who is now ignoring them and she is totally pissed off. Her asking about the family could be a mix of a threat and trying to prove she just wants to be friends. She is definitely hurt and he has definitely done something that has led her on and she is now hurt, angry and probably embarrassed.

I read it as her having undermined him at work previously but now is no longer a threat to him as she left.

However, as she's still trying to get in touch she wants more.

It's extremely hard for me to even think he could've been involved in anything romantic with anyone, he's just not the type, he is commited to our family and our beautiful children.

I know that in the past he had some one off snogging with a collague at a work do...

So it sounds like he's exactly the type. And by laughing it off last time, you've completely green-lighted that behaviour.

Did you really think it was amusing?

She's trying to not sound 'desperate' (horrible word, only used for women), hence the nod to his family / 'no threat' but she's hurting and it shines through.

I'm sorry but agree with those who think this email refers to a sexual encounter of some kind. My guess is "once in blue moon" means that more than once they have gone out/got drunk/slept together AND then afterwards he has been very cold.

I was an OW for a long time with an EA man and I lost count of the emails I sent that had this kind of tone to them.

"I thought we were friends" was a constant theme for me. It was a desperate (& misguided) attempt to (a) sound rational and less obsessive - ie. "I am complaining about your treatment of me as a friend would do" and (b) to try to get him to accept responsibility for his poor treatment of me and (c) to try to disguise the depths of my love for him. (Let's bung in friends references to play at being cool about it all - when in fact my heart was being broken)

It maybe a case of "it takes one to know one" but everything about email says to me this is a woman who whatever she is trying to project by her cool use of words has strong emotional feelings towards your DH, has had some kind of sexual involvement with him and can't understand why he is treating her so coldly.

For what it's worth, if you ask him about it, he will lie. Probably say it was just a snog or something completely innocent - but that kind of emotional pain, that is so deep that you have to pretend and dress it up as "a just friends" type complaint doesn't come out of nowhere.

I am 100% sure that this is an email from a woman who has had sexual contact with your husband. Everything about it is the kind of thing I used to send.

I hope you can get past it and sort it out.

Oh - and he wasn't my friend. At all.
Took me a long time to realise it.

I would message her on his Facebook account just saying "so??" And see what comes back from her...

Oh... Well that changes things op.

If it is the snog woman, and I reckon it is, I'd be worried. If it is not the snog woman I'd be worried too.

I also think there has been some kind of affair between these two.

Don't think this one is a 'one off snog' to be laughed at

But just my personal thoughts