Strange email on DH's account

[mynameisearl1]

I logged onto DH's email today to check something and I found an email from his female work colleague. It says:
Hi X. Sorry to bother you again but I really need talk to you. Could we chat one evening on FB? Just catch me when you see me logged on. Please do find time and do not ignore me, I know you might feel uncomfortable or so but please, you're a big boy so surely you can talk to me for a while. I really start feeling like an idiot for getting in touch with you. You have to admit that it happens once in a blue moon but even then you seem just not to give a fuck about it. I thought we were friends, but friends should respect each other, shouldn't they?
I am not any threat to you and you know it, I just need to clear up my mind. So please do find some time, I really do not want to lose my respect for you. Hope you and your family are all OK x

He hasn't replied to that message. I looked for other emials from her and found nothing, however her contact is saved into contacts book.

Is it just me being suspicious or is this message weird? I dont know that woman, I only know they worked together at his old workplace. My DH is usually very open about any social media contact, he hasn't password on his phone, I can easily access his FB or email. We have a good and healthy relationship ... or do I only think so?

she sounds like a crazy lady begging for his attention - once in a blue moon. I'm not surprised he ignores her. I'd ignore the writer of this.

There is nothing here that suggests he has ever reciprocated/responded to her.

I doubt they've had an affair but they may have had a misjudged fumble that he instantly regretted, she wants to sound mature and "we're all friends" about it (hence the comments about family and wanting to respect him) but he just wants to forget all about it (her comment "you're a big boy" sounds like she's trying to flirt him into behaving the way she wants him to). Sounds like she can't move past it as well as she'd like to.

I'd be worried by her determination frankly, although I wouldn't want a massive showdown with him because he does seem to be steadfastly ignoring her and what else can he do?

I disagree..I think "you're a big boy" means she thinks he is acting immaturely

I thought the 'you're a big boy' also smacked of familiarity that comes with intimacy.

If you want to get closer to the truth them talk to her on fb as if you're dh.

Or ask him.

I feel she's told him she has feelings for him. He backed off. She's hurt and pissed off. That would fit the big boy comments. Is she a native English speaker?

She sounds quite unhinged.

Could it be that she fancies/has had some encounter with another colleague? A friend of DH's? Maybe a brief affair that turned bad, she's still after him and is trying to get to him through DH?

Long shot probably. Or something to do with work? Promotion or that she's been in trouble there?

You went on to his email account to check something and just happened to open this email from a female colleague. Does your husband know you have his password and access his emails? If he does then I doubt he has anything to hide. If your were snooping you already had suspicions.

I don't think you need to worry. I kind of have a similar situation. From that, I read that they were friends and she's made a pass and he's shot her down and said no longer wishes to be her friend.

A guy at my work was my friend, talked to me a lot and messaged me out of hours. DP and I got a little. Concerned about how much he messaged etc and some of the things he was saying and we agreed I shouldn't message him anymore and only talk to him at work. That's where the crazy started and I got messages like that!

As it reads he could easily have made pass at her and been rebuffed and is now being huffy.

That's how I read it too, Tallulah.

I think they became emotionally close through work. She disclosed feelings & he walked away or they may have come close to sex but he backed away. The 'once in a blue moon' smacks of contact not encounters. She wants more, he doesn't but doesn't know how to end all contact without her being really hurt - they were obviously friends and he has a level of respect for her - she is trying to get him to engage but he won't.

She's trying to not sound 'desperate' (horrible word, only used for women), hence the nod to his family / 'no threat' but she's hurting and it shines through.

But I'm not any threat to you and you know it, plus I need to clear my head,
Suggests strongly that she has feelings for him and not the other way round.

At the very least I'd say it has been on both sides. Don't agree with all the woman blaming here

But things aren't always two ways.

a long time ago one of my partner's friends made a drunken pass at me -I never told her .I didnt get on with the friend and I thought it would have been vindictive to mention it

The amount of wild speculation on this thread is astounding.

My interpretation would be that at some point he overstepped the mark with her. (hence her promising she isn't a threat: won't tell)
Now he won't engage with her, though originally said of course they were still friends.
She still wants more, and asking after his family is an attempt to look reasonable to him and no threat.

My other interpretation is that he never overstepped the mark, but she has fixated on him anyway - but the rest is the same. She's desperate and trying to look like she isn't (but failing).

It might be that he shagged her and now dumped her

It might be that she wanted an affair with him and he wasn't interested.

You need to talk to him

Cabrinha i agree with you but i actually think that it very much is a threatening emsil

Im no threat to you......so why say it?
Losing respect......
Hope your family are well!!!!!

Engage with me or i talk!!

If I had an e mail like that and was innocent of any infidelity, and my partner pretended to be me on Facebook in order to investigate or spy, rather than asking me, I would be devastated and very angry, and my trust would be lost.

Gut feeling... The once in a blue moon is a sexual encounter that he then expresses remorse for/is in denial about (hence you have to admit it happens...) and then rejects her.

I read the "no threat" thing to mean that she has promised not to divulge it to anyone else. She sounds remorseful too. The unhinged comments are lazy mn rhetoric. She does not sound remotely unhinged. She sounds like someone who he has treated badly by being complicit in an encounter and then blaming her for it happening and rejecting/humiliating her by ignoring her.

I am really sorry op.

I read it that they used to be friendly at work and she wanted more/made a pass at him and he has pretty much avoided her and ignored her messages since.

I disagree. This doesn't sound like any shagged then dumped letter I've ever read (or written!) before.
It sounds like 'their relationship' is in her head.