Strange email on DH's account

[mynameisearl1]

I logged onto DH's email today to check something and I found an email from his female work colleague. It says:
Hi X. Sorry to bother you again but I really need talk to you. Could we chat one evening on FB? Just catch me when you see me logged on. Please do find time and do not ignore me, I know you might feel uncomfortable or so but please, you're a big boy so surely you can talk to me for a while. I really start feeling like an idiot for getting in touch with you. You have to admit that it happens once in a blue moon but even then you seem just not to give a fuck about it. I thought we were friends, but friends should respect each other, shouldn't they?
I am not any threat to you and you know it, I just need to clear up my mind. So please do find some time, I really do not want to lose my respect for you. Hope you and your family are all OK x

He hasn't replied to that message. I looked for other emials from her and found nothing, however her contact is saved into contacts book.

Is it just me being suspicious or is this message weird? I dont know that woman, I only know they worked together at his old workplace. My DH is usually very open about any social media contact, he hasn't password on his phone, I can easily access his FB or email. We have a good and healthy relationship ... or do I only think so?

Arsenic, in context (previous sentence) it reads like she gets in touch with him once in a blue moon, not 'something else' happening - but he still ignores even though she doesn't pester him.
Agree that she prob had made a pass on him and now tries to salvage friendship but he's not keen.

I think she sounds quite desperate, and a very scary lady.

Oh yes you might be right beagles.

She does sound very 'intense', whatever it's all about. Not good. I would ask him outright OP.

At the very least the tone is inappropriate between colleagues.

yes, a bit intense - I think he should talk to her and resolve whatever it is once and for all (and tell the OP) or she may escalate her 'efforts'.

it could still be work related though (re 'no threat'), he let her down in some way?

I start to feel an idiot for getting in touch with you. Very odd.

Simple answer , go on his Facebook and chat to her.

The minute you ask him he will warn her you've seen it , delete all emails , and you'll never get the truth. It will eat away at you for years. I think the chances of this being innocent work stuff is incredibly low.

Sounds like the words of a stalker.

You need to talk to him.

If she was a stalker he would have blocked her and they wouldn't be friends on Facebook. It sounds to me that he's been playing her and she wants some answers.

it reads to me that they have had a relationship in the past. She's not looney, she's hurting and desperate.

I read it as 'it happens once in. Blue moon' as her taking about when she gets it touch with him...
I bet she is ex from when he was very young and it was all a bit intense and she periodically gets in touch with him to rake over old ground, and this time he just can't be bothered...

(Which I'm not blaming him for by the way - but some people just aren't very good at letting things go)

I'd ask him outright. There's something odd and probably has more than one side.

Well it reads to me like she made a pass at him, he refused and she won't let it go. He wouldn't necessarily have blocked her. There is a distinct tone of desperation about it. He may have responded once but regretted it and never again. It may be a relationship from before you. She has no self respect...

But we can only speculate. You need to find out more.

The 'it only happens on e in a blue moon' is the her getting in touch with him.
I think it sounds as iif she is fixated on him, is pursuing him, being needy and desperate , but she doesn't say anything more than 'I thougt we were friends'. He is clearly completely ignoring her.

Talk to him. I don't think this spells 'affair' at all.

I would chat to her on FB.

I think it sounds like they've got it on once in a blue moon. He uses her and then drops her. She is pissed off. And wants more.

She's after him and desperate, he has knocked her back and doesn't want to engage with her. That's what I see from that.

'it happens once in a blue moon' is them shagging, and I say that as someone who has never (knowingly) been cheated on.

I would not be happy to see that exchange on my DH's phone at all. It's quite clear what's going on.

Work friendship, which has somehow evolved into something inappropriate that happens sporadically, that he feels terribly guilty about, and yet still ... it continues sporadically. And he treats yer one badly afterwards as a result.

So yes, of course she's 'unhinged' and 'bananas' - she (and you) is/are being treated appallingly.

She doesn't sound unhinged at all. Sorry..it does sound like they have had the occasional dalliance. And doesn't sound like she wants more.either,or that she is stalking him.

Could be absolutely nothing to do with sex - once in a blue moon could be promotion opportunities, or a periodic business opportunity (plushy client meet/jolly away etc). Maybe she's been passed over once too often and expects a bit moral support from a friend and colleague, and he's not forthcoming (hence the "you don't give a fuck"). Not a threat to him? Said promotion/opportunity could be in his "area" of the job, and she doesn't want him to think she's usurping him.
Are people really suggesting logging on to his FB and striking up a conversation with her as him?! Christ on a bike, sometimes this place seems like soap opera entertainment for some, who won't be happy without the extra-marital shagging and resultant broken marriage.
OP - of you want an honest and open relationship with your husband, just bloody ask him - the tone and content of the email is strange enough that any spouse would/should be justified in worrying for their partner, not about them

I don't think they have had a dalliance. She says 'I though we were friends'.. Though I guess something may have happened once before. It sounds a little stalker-y - as she does seem desperate for him to respond; plus it's strange that she mentions she is not a 'threat' to him. Unless this relates to some work/promotion thing. Maybe they were friends and she made a pass at him and feels the need to clear things up? Though your dh has been ignoring her according to the message so doesn't seem to be interested or concerned. Strange though..

Sorry op but I would say they have either had (or are having) an affair or got close to it and he changed his mind - possibly an EA? The email is too intense for "just friends", let alone work colleagues!