Why would someone ask to renew wedding vows so ‘early’ in marriage

[ernestsjone]

My wife asked me if I would want to renew our marriage vows after about 7.5 years of marriage. We had 2 kids. This suggestion came out of the blue and I thought it seemed strange so ‘soon’ after getting married. I always thought this kind of thing was for 25 year+. We had a proper wedding so it’s not like she missed out on her ‘big day’

Recently I heard of a couple I know that have been married for about 6 years who renewed their vows after the wife had an affair; this kind of unsettled me. Obviously I don’t want to go accusing her based on what someone else did, so I’m just looking for female thoughts on renewing vows and why a loving wife would suggest such a thing at what seems to be a random time. Thanks

Affair? Bored and wants to reinfect some magic? Content and wants to shout it from the rooftops that she hasn't given in to the 7-year itch?

Who knows? I'd just ask her.

I actually think it's a nice idea, if it's done privately. I have only been married for two years, and already I understand so much more about what my vows meant. Of course, I meant them when I said them, and I still do. But I understand so much more already, after just two years, about what it really means to love someone in sickness and in health, and in good times and bad, etc. those weren't our vows, we wrote our own, but you get the picture.

I would like to do this at 30 years, when I imagine we will look back at the vows we made and think on the one hand, we were so sweet and innocent, and on the other, how much more we mean them.

Am I making sense? It's easy to stand in front of people when you are facing marriage and say "I will love you and support you and treat you as my equal and share my life with you", and a lot harder and therefore meaningful to look back after thirty years of actually being married and say "you have loved me and supported me and treated me as your equal no matter what through everything we have faced in thirty years of sharing our lives together, and I commit today to continue to do the same for you for the coming thirty years, too..."

Make sense at all?!

I just read my post and realised I am it making any sense!

Perhaps a better example. My parents got married young, small wedding, against the best wishes of their parents (who felt they were too young and didn't know what they were doing and didn't know how hard marriage really was? Etc).

So- 38 years later, they have dealt with a late term miscarriage, the addiction and then death of their adult son at, my disclosure of sexual abuse and later rape, huge family break downs, two significant depressive episodes, pretty huge financial concerns, death of parents, a broken back, etc etc.

Through it all, even when they were hanging on by a thread at times, they continued to love each other and support each other, and to choose to face the world together.

I really want them to renew their vows for their 40th, just to each other and maybe with my husband and I present. Because damn, that marriage is strong, and how beautiful for them to have come through all that and still be devoted to those words they said all those years ago, basically as teenagers!!!

its our 25th next year, we will be on holiday in NZ and plan to find a beach share a bottle of sparkling stuff with some strawberries and reaffirm our marriage by saying some nice word to each other.... then having a bugger of a party when we come home

We had an amazing wedding day and after five years very quietly renewed our vows just us and the priest. Haven't actually told anyone irk that we did it.

We are very happy in our lives (other than infertility) and it was nothing to do with affairs, parties or crappy wedding days. We just wanted to do it. Nothing wrong with reminding ourselves of the huge commitment we made to one another five short and happy years ago. I felt pretty emotional during it. Was lovely.

Well, back from holiday now and MrsGrumpy was over the moon and thought it was lovely, just the 2 of us and the Minister reaffirming our love for each other.

Just as well I'm not married to most of you, I'd have been on the back foot ever since booking it!

We've talked about it, but aren't really party animals. Our wedding was just 21 people including the Rector and his wife.

We've been through some really difficult times, and our wedding was overshadowed by our mothers.

We're hoping to move house next year, and have a house built in another region, and have thought of doing it once we're in our new house. Sort of new beginning - probably around our 40th anniversary as we've been married 37 years.

I always assume somebody's cheated. So it's like a new contract.

If she had an affair surely she wouldn't do something like this as it would just raise suspicions? Maybe she's feeling a bit insecure? If your first response to this is 'she's had an affair' I'm guessing the marriage has not been altogether plain sailing and she might feel she needs reassurance.

We're planning on renewing ours at 10 years. When we married, my dad was very ill...we nearly lost him soon after. We were skint, so didn't get a honey moon. And I was heavily pregnant, so didn't really enjoy it. On our ten year anniversary we would like to renew our vows, with just put children and our parents- including my lovely dad, who is back in good health. And then have a big anniversary party after, for all family and friends! (not to mention jetting off into the sunset!)
If that makes me shallow and showy, then so be it!!