Why would someone ask to renew wedding vows so ‘early’ in marriage

[ernestsjone]

My wife asked me if I would want to renew our marriage vows after about 7.5 years of marriage. We had 2 kids. This suggestion came out of the blue and I thought it seemed strange so ‘soon’ after getting married. I always thought this kind of thing was for 25 year+. We had a proper wedding so it’s not like she missed out on her ‘big day’

Recently I heard of a couple I know that have been married for about 6 years who renewed their vows after the wife had an affair; this kind of unsettled me. Obviously I don’t want to go accusing her based on what someone else did, so I’m just looking for female thoughts on renewing vows and why a loving wife would suggest such a thing at what seems to be a random time. Thanks

Exactly.
Just get the lambrini out :)

We've been married 8 years and first reaffirmed our vows after less than a year, and have done most years since (disclaimer: this has been part of the Church's annual Celebration of Marriage service so it's always been lots of couples reaffirming their vows to each other at once, never just us) so I don't see anything wrong with the reaffirming of the vows per se, although I agree that some people look upon it as an excuse for a party (I knew someone who had a new dress, new ring, etc).

We've often discussed that we may have a reaffirmation that's more of an occasion for our 10th Anniversary. But nothing's set in stone. Although I'm very tempted after the PiL reaffirmed their vows for their 40th Anniversary recently, although the service itself was very quiet (PiL, DH, me, our Rector and the Rectors wife). The main celebration was a family meal the day after, which felt right.

Thanks, Staywithme.

But surely you did that with your original vows in sickness and in health and all that.

It was important to me to show my husband how much I loved him and that he would never be a burden to me (which he was worried about) throughout the chemo, radiotherapy, trial drugs, pain, vomiting, infections, emergency trips to hospital/hospice in the early hours, mood swings, tears, etc. How many people do you know that made those vows and are no longer together when things get tough or boring? It doesn't harm anyone else so why be so critical?

How did your first wedding go op?

I only ask because ours was awful, absolutely miserable, we ended up getting married in jeans and jumpers and going straight home afterwards so we renewed our vows 5 years later and got all dressed up so that we have some nice photos to look back on.

It was only close family and friends though , that should have been at the first one and weren't, for reasons beyond anyone's control .

Op
You coming back?

Handfastings were always a year and a day and the reaffirmed if wanted to continue. Is interesting research on the probability that humans aren't really cut out for life long monogamy with same person, I like the idea of hand fasting and revisiting it yearly

Your 'Gilette' anaology made me smile, LaQueen, spot on too.

never seen the point of this renewing vows stuff myself. It suggests that the original ones have worn out or were not good enough in the first place. The original ones are supposed to be solid and for life, otherwise, what's the point?

No, I'm not into this renewing vows lark. My DH & I have been together for 24 years & married for 19. Anyway, if we renewed our vows now.........he might say, "No!"

FrancesNiadova

We renew ours every year... we save the day and go on holiday, just the 2 of us. It might just be a night or 2 out, but it is our own time.

I know, that's just celebrating the anniversary, but it is special to us.

Wouldn't dream of any weird ceremony!

We are planning on renewing our vows for our 5 year anniversary, just me and my husband and the kids (and possibly parents). The minister who married us told us at the last minute he wouldn't do the traditional vows as we already lived together. I would really like to have the traditional vows x

I just asked DH what he would thought about us renewing our vows.

He said "Why, who broke the last ones?"

I think that sums it up, really.

Is the op here, or did I miss him? What did your wife say?

Here's my slushy ahhhhh tale of my mum and dad's reaffirmation...I'm 55 and the youngest of 3 sibs - you do the math(s) (coded reference to the USA-speak thread)..

We three were all in forrin(various) parts when this happened..

Mum's wedding ring had worn thin and she couldn't even get it off her finger, so dad took her into his Sulk Shed in the garden, clamped it, and sawed it off. And then took her shopping to the Jewellery Quarter to buy its replacement.Its lovely and I now wear it often.

But mum wasn't happy. It hadn't been 'blessed'

So a week or so later, one Saturday, dad proposes a day out. Nice drive to Jeremy Clarkson country, lunch at a country pub, stay the night at a Cotswold inn somewhere?

So they got suited and booted and set off.

Dad was good at arranging impromptu excursions so nothing different there.

First tho, dad had been reading about the inner city regeneration round about where they both grew up, and he believed, just believed, mind, that the church they'd married at was still standing - amongst the new skyscrapers, etc. - could that ever be possible? Well, only a slight detour before they took the M5 South, let's look....

And there it was! And so it went on.."well, while we're here, wonder if it's open? Spect it won't be tho, etc..." creaky opening door was the signal for .
A real church organist to attack the ivories with Gusto, flowers at the altar, and a beaming young vicar waiting for them...

New ring "churched",vows reaffirmed.

Ahhhh

But back to the OP....why?

Attention, presents, rekindle togetherness, guilt?

That is lovely, Buttercups, really lovely. What a wonderful event to organise.

Maybe83... Couples who do this for themselves, not with trumpets and fanfares and a need to for attention really don't annoy anybody or even invite comment, positive or otherwise, because nobody knows or is involved.

I'm happy for anybody who is happy in their marriage. Attention-seekers leave me cold but there are plenty of like-minded people who will celebrate with them. Different strokes for different folks.

I like the idea of 'hand fasting'... we'd possibly have fewer affairs perhaps?

what Simon said. .
utterly bollocks notion.
no one talks about renewing a funeral

I've been to two renewals...and they were both the results of affairs. Sorry

If you renew your vows you can be pretty sure that the majority of your guests will be wondering which one of the happy couple had an affair.

An affair? You've got to be kidding thinking that she wants to renew her wedding vows due to that.

If I had an affair I would probably be thinking about marriage counselling or divorce, not getting another big party.

I wanted to renew ours at 10 because our first few years were traumatic with miscarriages, premature babies , illnesses etc etc.
Nothing to do with affairs or parties.
Just a celebration of bring able to weather in a few years what some couples would never have to weather together in their lifetime.