Four threads to freedom! Divorcing Twatchops once and for all

[thenamehaschanged]

Still can't copy and paste links but my last thread was New name, new game, less stress, more progress!

This really, really is the last one now - I hope that my story has helped anybody breaking free from abuse - it's bloody hard but you can do it!

he was snivelling a bit

As one of my female volunteers said, when she was dismantling a shed that a local male had put up [badly] years ago and was going on about past times yada yada yada...'give the man a tissue'.

I think they want the victim's side of it because the perp is so full of lies charm. Doesn't Lundy routinely interview victims as part of the perp programme?

That's not to say you're up to/for it, though. That boat has sailed and, anyway, you're busy getting your life back after years of having it stolen/trashed/crushed/jammed/manipulated/swamped. Etc. You've enough to be going on with.

re the f/t job: I remember, post exit from ex, getting a f/t job and the exhaustion was unbelievable. I could barely move my face. so give yourself chance to adjust. Yo've a lot of adjusting on your plate at the mo, day at a time, lovely. You're doing so well

How are you doing name?

How are things going name?

How are things with you name?

I really hope you're okay name

Getting a bit worried...

Popping in to see if you're OK, Name.

Read a nice thing on another thread, today, and thought I'd repeat it here:

HOPE
Hang On, Pain Ends

hope you're ok name

Oh everyone thank you so much for checking on me!! I've been meaning to come back on but have been so rushed off my feet recently with being back to work, bloody Christmas, being mid divorce et al! Anyway, we're doing ok me and my girls. Old twatchops tried for a full blown conversation the other day at drop off on the subject of kids Christmas presents which of course he'll know I have an opinion on, but I kept it to a minimum and just told him to email me!

His sister called the other night as well which was a shock - she asked if there would be any chance for us after 6 months if he got this counselling in the meantime, I was just 'No' end of, think the message is finally across!

Anyway, hope you're all ok and surviving out there

Glad that you're ok!! Send him a link to an Amazon giftlift. Interesting that he doesn't have any idea what his own daughters like

Yeah exactly Partridge! It was just another way to engage but I was like 'come on!' I have said I will do their stockings and post them up to his mums with a couple of other gifts and then he can get them some more when he's up there - think he wants me to spoon feed him again. He actually approached me about what to do about a parking ticket he had got while out with the dd's the other day - I was half way through closing the front door on him and just said 'err look at the back of the ticket and follow the instructions??.....bye!' He's just going to keep trying to make contact like this until he meets someone else I think - and then that will probably do my head in even more, him being back to aloof...aargh hate him, effing tosser - i know Font, I know NO CONTACT and all that, he's ended up on my doorstep now though at drop off through all fault of my own.

I had really hoped for my counselling to be under way by now - I really really need boundary building lessons, I really do!

Hey! Nice to hear from you. Glad you're doing OK. Typical that he can't ask the girls what they want, but has to ask you. Still trying to force a conversation. Well done, you, heading him off at the pass

Amazon wishlist is the way to go. Make sure there are only very expensive things on it!

I am alright though otherwise everyone, promise

Lol thanks Jux !!!

I bet hes finding that the amount of busty/leggy 25 year old blondes that might be interested in him are surprisingly thin on the ground.

X post.

Can you go back to handovers elsewhere? He's going to keep pushing otherwise.

Haha darkest! Yep

Yes Jux think I will. I'm feeling pretty strong these days, I'll just state via email that we're back to station drop offs/pick ups and I know he'll agree. Anything to see his precious kids obviously

As long as you realize what he's doing (and you do) the irritation at his attempts at conversation and your fear of being drawn in by him again will fade. I think it's your fear of finding yourself back at square one that makes his attempts unnerving to you. It's so easy to fall back into old patterns. But you are stronger than that now, you know. And much more aware of his tricks!

The time will come, sooner than you think, when you will find his blandishments and attempts to make you do things for him (and thus 'interdependent') amusing rather than nerve-wracking. And if he does find a GF, the only feeling you'll have is relief (for you) and pity (for her).

He's a twatchops and you've grown so much stronger, it's great to see how far you've come!!

How is work?

Ahh thanks Pond, absolutely!

Hey Random, thanks - work's ok actually, I'm back in the swing of it now, kids love breakfast and after school club which is a relief. I can get a bit panicked over things sometimes, but I'm doing a good job apparently, I'm earning my own money again and I guess it beats the alternative of the depressive school drop off in pyjamas in the car and returning home to go straight back to bed and wallow in a panicky, low slump. Work's given me purpose again.

But, yes - still feel in need of that counselling. I've got some 1-1 phone counselling due from the FP and then there's the nhs CBT I'm due too. If I could i'd go private, but I just can't afford it at the mo. Nevermind.

Hey good to hear things are going well and that you're enjoying the job. You need to clip his wings again he's taking the piss. You don't have to send stockings or anything he should provide for them himself. That way the girls get 2 Christmases. How are the girls coping? Hope he's not blitzing them with crap statements about how bad mummy is.
You are doing so well and sound so different from your earlier threads. Onwards and upwards x

Hi Name. Good to see that you are very aware of the boundaries that he is going to push, and how he has eroded them in the past. Half the battle is the recognition that a certain thing is happening. As you have seen, then being able to plan and implement your tactics in response is the other half of the battle. And we know that you are good at this.

Have a lovely Xmas, if we don't hear from your before-hand. As far as the counseling goes, I reckon, save yourself some money and spend it on something lovely for you and the DD over Xmas/New Year's.

That's all splendidly splendid, Name!

Work is such a morale booster, after a long slump. There are good days and bad days, no matter what you do in life, as you know, so earning yourself and making your own decisions is a big big deal. Well done Name, very well done

And the memory of Twatchops and the influence he has is fading, maybe imperceptibly for now, but he is well on the way out.

HOORAY FOR NAME [bunting][champagne]

Well done Name Particularly about the parking ticket.