Shaking - help me, shall I go to confront DH

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

I am shaking please could I have a bit of advice?

DH has had full rash over his body and also a chest infection so didn't go in to work today. I'm off on maternity leave.

He went to dr on weekend but lost his prescription so went to get another one also to see GP as OOH GP wasn't sure about rash.

He told me GP wants blood tests. I saw in his cupboard a blood test form saying 'STD check ' and convinced myself it was a 'standard check'...

He has just gone to his friends to get his lost prescription, as GP refused to give another.

I looked back in cupboard and I have found a leaflet from sexual health clinic saying to come back at 1 pm

Please help - shall I go to the clinic (about 10 min walk) and ask him wtf he is doing there?

He wa out till 5 am on Saturday

Has he fucked someone else?

[NotTheKitchenAgainPlease]

I know the last thing you want to do is be around him but just sit tight - he is banking on you changing your mind. He has done it once before.
Can you get some family around for moral support over the weekend?
Please call a solicitor ASAP and find out what the terms of your tenancy are. Get your mum to start the ball rolling wrt to ending the tenancy.
Make a list and remember that he will have to leave eventually.
So sorry you are going through this.

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

Stay put.

Do not leave.

Stop panicking, it's not helping.

He's bullshitting you about lots of stuff, including the amount it will cost to get rid if him.

Phone a solicitor. Make an appointment.

Get your Mum to get onto the legal side of the tenancy.

If he is scaring you, call the police.

Repeat: DO NOT LEAVE & certainly do NOT leave your children with him.

[Lifeisforlivingkatie]

Stupid man.

[Only1scoop]

He doesn't sound like the brightest button in the sewing box....

Use that to your advantage....

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

Anyone know how long eviction takes?

[Only1scoop]

It will depend on the tenancy agreement ....is it a running month to month type or did you sign up for a set period. The period of notice on both sides will be in there somewhere....

Hopefully your mum has spoken to someone regarding it.

Did you get sti tests as you still don't know what he may or may not have?

[airforsharon]

I was going to say pretty much what ChippingIn has said, so I second her comments.

He is running through a list of threats with the intent of scaring you into doing something you'd regret. He cannot 'take' the children from you - do not leave them with him. And 10k to evict him? Bollocks, seriously.

Please get legal advice today. Good luck OP x

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

He is a bit dim

Right, he has taken our son out to the bank and is already starting to try to be 'normal' so I will just drop it like I did before. I will not this time, but I am so so sad I will lose my lovely home. My mum wanted to sell anyway, I had asked her to hang on for alter years while we got ourselves sorted.

His mum was v aware of what happened before, she is very ashamed of him, but refused to offer him to stay with her. Given she has made him the avoident prat he is today, I can't really rely on her.

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

STI test happening Monday next week.

[Only1scoop]

Oh Op stay strong....

He knows your decision ....no need to discuss it with him anymore....

Surely if your mum owns the property and he has any ounce of self respect he may leave if she asks him.

[Joysmum]

As asked before, what sort of tenancy do you have and when does it run to?

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

Why do you think you have to lose the house? Your mum owns it, why can't you stay?

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

Trying to dig out TA now have packed all paperwork

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

Mum is looking for an excuse to sell, I love living here, wanted to buy it from her, can afford to in two years time - may be able to move back in, but not sure really.

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

Actually it's him - his nonsense which panics me into wanting to leave instantly. I am going to bide my time. Need to plan carefully.

[TheHoneyBadger]

eviction can be as simple as your mum gives him his formal 4 weeks notice and when that time is up you change the locks when he is out. he has no tenancy at that point or any right of return to the house. you can then call the police if he tries to force entry or harasses you.

if he doesn't have a copy of the tenancy agreement it does even exist to all intents and purposes - you and your mum can say there is no agreement he was just staying with you and he doesn't have any 'rights' to continue to stay in your mother's property.

does he have a copy?

[Audeca]

Anyone know how long eviction takes?

It depends on the type of tenancy he/you have (even if there is nothing signed or no paper document a contract will still be considered to exist), i.e are you in a fixed term AST and is there a break clause or is he a lodger?

The eviction process can take a while depending on the type of tenancy he has (if he's a lodger then it's very quick), but it doesn't cost £10,000.

It sounds a complex housing situation.

If I were you I'd contact Shelter immediatly for advice or, at the very least, go onto a more specialist forum like Money Saving Expert or LandlordZone. Please don't act without doing this, as an eviction that doesn't follow the proper steps is a criminal offence.

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

He does have a copy - can't find my copy think it's AST though.

[Yikesivedoneitagain]

His copy at his mum's.

[Audeca]

As the landlord your mum should still have copies?

Did he pay a deposit and was it properly protected and the proscribed information provided within 30 days? If not then your mum will have to return it (or his share) before starting any proceedings as not doing so will invalidate the notices.

If it's an AST then there are two routes that can potentially be used: a Section 21 or Section 8.

If you are outside of the fixed term then she could issue a Section 21 notice to him (be aware the notice period is two months, not the one month that other people have been saying here).

This gov.uk page has a guide to the rules your mum must follow when evicting.

This site also contains a useful breakdown:

If the landlord wants a tenant to vacate their rental property during the fixed term, then the tenant can only be evicted if a breach of contract has been proved. The landlord cannot use a Section 21 notice and must use a Section 8 Notice instead. Section 8 Notices can only be used when a tenant is in rent arrears.

When can a landlord serve a Section 21 Notice?

A landlord must give a tenant a minimum of two months' notice, in writing. Serving a Section 21 Notice can occur at any time after the start of the tenancy but notice cannot end earlier than the end of the fixed term.

The notice can also be served on the last day of the tenancy, in which case the tenant wouldn’t have to vacate the property for a further two months after that.

Sorry if this seems a bit much, but it's worth making sure the proper process is followed just to cover you and your mum from any vindictive retaliatory court action. It will also, hopefully, make for a quick and easy process.

[Audeca]

Ooops, should have added that the bit about the deposit is only for an AST.

[Audeca]

Apologies to SassyPasty! I missed your post where you mentioned the same sites as me!

[Only1scoop]

To be honest Op there are some fantastic posts on here that your mum could be guided by.... Very sound advice.

[Audeca]

Oh, FGS, it appears I skipped an entire page.

OP, I now also see your mum is consulting a solicitor, so ignore me.

[TheHoneyBadger]

you gave great info audeca!