What would your DH do if you were awarded a First Class Degree?

[actionsspeaklouder]

Exactly that really. I'm new here, but long time lurker.

I have worked really hard for this degree(OU) over 4 years, PT work and looking after 2 children with little help/support from DP who has a very 'busy' job. I'm so proud of myself.

Him, not even a card. He has said 'Well done'. But that's it. He didn't even want to help me revise for my last exam - he was too tired. That really upset me.

So, what would your DHs say/do? Do I need to get a grip?

Current OH would be over the moon for me.

Ex H would have told me I was up myself. Twat.

interesting,

my ex passed a professional qualification which at her behest i had registered her for, sourced and bought all of the specialist books needed, researched, found and paid for a course of online tuition, bought her every pen, pencil and ruler she needed. Looked after the children whenever she needed to study (daily). I didn't get or expect so much as a cheers. We do these things for our other halves.

Have to say that when my lack of enthusiasm at her passing this was used as 'evidence' that i didn't love her when i was ditched for OM...... I was a tad gobsmacked!

Bloody glad I'm not married to you!

5 degrees between DH and I - neither has ever helped the other revise! Why would we?

err..... because she asked me to.

The clue was 'at her behest'

getthefeckouttahere

My last post wasn't in reply to yours. I am confused.

in which case I'm sorry and withdraw my tart comment!

I don't think dh would do much - as I didn't do much when he got his.
I told him 'well done' and that I was proud of him, but I don't remember getting him a card.
We went out for a meal after the graduation ceremony.
People are different.

Do you think he thinks because it's the OU and not a brick-and-mortar degree that it's not "real" somehow?

That's not what I think, BTW. I think it's bloody amazing and brilliant, I didn't stick mine out and I think OU is even harder as ALL of that motivation is on you. Well done.

I think DH would be similar to gliding's DH. He wouldn't think to get a card or go out for dinner, he would have been supportive and enthusiastic as it was happening though I reckon.

I did my postgrad part time, while working. Was very hard work.

When my results came in I was away. I arrived home (at 6am) to find a card stuck to the door which simply said 'I am so proud of you'.

I opened the door and in a picture frame was the letter with my results on it. Dh was sitting bolt upright in bed with a big grin on his face and gave me the most enormous hug.

He never could understand why I wanted to do this postgrad, it had no use for my career and cost us a fortune, as well as being ridiculously hard work to balance with a very, very full time job. But I wanted to do it and that was that, he never once complained about it, even when seriously inconvenienced.

I don't think you need to get a grip, I think he is being very unsupportive.

Congratulations by the way, you have done brilliantly. You should be proud of yourself.

You say your husband works really hard and gets tired. Is the degree you have achieved likely to aid future employment? It could be that unless this is the case, and he is focussed on keeping his family, that your success is regarded as some kind of self improvement exercise which he recognises but not in the same way. I know how hurt you must be. I undertook four years of intense study when the children were young and, yes, my husband was proud. I am just trying to see your husband's side of the situation. Congratulations on your first. It's a wonderful feeling when you collect your degree so don't spoil it by upsetting yourself over your husband's apparent lack of interest. Will he be going with you to a degree ceremony? That might bring your achievement home to him. Be Happy.

5 degrees between DH and I - neither has ever helped the other revise! Why would we?

Well, did either of you actually want the other to help? Based on your comment I'm guessing not, in which case there's your answer. I'm working on my second degree now and DH has never helped me revise either, because I've never asked him to. But if I did want help, as the OP did (and as I understand it she asked her DH to help once, for her very last exam, so hardly an arduous task for him) then he would, because life partners help each other out if they reasonably can. At least mine does, and I do the same for him. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who took the attitude of 'fuck your exams' if I asked them to quickly test me on some material.