Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am currently packing his stuff. Am I overreacting?

160 replies

NorrisCole · 02/11/2014 19:39

I have had enough.

He was using the tablet over the weekend and left his Facebook logged in. He is in the pub and messages started popping up on the tablet for his Facebook account.

It was a woman I've never heard of or met but from the messages written it's an ex of his.

She was saying how he hadn't changed and how was he etc. He mentioned he had a daughter now but had been split up from me for over a year and lived on his own in a flat in his old hometown.

As far as I'm concerned we are very much together and things have been going fantastic. It fekt like a massive smack in the face and I feel so hurt and deflated . Messages have been clean but he's maintaining he's single and shes asking to meet up or for his number. He hasn't replied yet.

I do so so much for him and for him to just make out I'm not there and he's on his own is so hurtful and completely disrespectful. No mention of his stepdaughter dd1 who adores him just that he gets dd2 every second weekend.

I don't know whether to confront him now by phone or wait until he comes home.

He will completely deny it and say his Facebook was hacked even though I have taken sceeenshot and it's obviously him. We have been in this situation before and I forgave him.

I would never say I was single. I always acknowledge my partner of 5 years and my head has honestly never been turned. He is obviously playing the single card hoping to get a Shag or a new girlfriend out of it.

I am quite calm but I'm not sure how calm I'll be when he lies to my face when he comes home and I don't want to explode when dds are here.

I can't believe I've let him fool me again. I honestly thought things were getting better and out relationship has been brilliant recently. How stupid am I Sad

OP posts:
ChippingInAutumnLover · 02/11/2014 20:52

He made us get the bus home from another city 35 miles away earlier today (we were sofa shopping thank God I didn't buy one) because she was being sick and he didn't want her to be sick in the car. I wasn't keen on taking her in the first place but she seemed better when we left, she started being sick again late afternoon. It was a horrific journey with a sicky 5 year old and teething hungry 16 month old and grumpy judgey passengers. He didn't even meet us at home, he went to the pub instead so that alone is a good enough reason to boot him out

WTAF

WTAF

The Facebook thing was awful :( but ^^ beyond disgusting!

Oh Norris :( x

bloodyteenagers · 02/11/2014 20:53

Bring his stuff back in, open the bags and pour any vomit over everything. It's the least he deserves. What an utter knob.

originalusernamefail · 02/11/2014 20:53

Well done Norris Thanks & Wine for a job well done!

Bogeyface · 02/11/2014 20:55

Forget the FB thing for a minute, he deserves his ass dumping just for what he did to you poor wee daughter. I would have gone completely fucking mental at that, got a taxi and charged and clean up bills to his card, what a fucking wanker!

I would tell the woman in question, he obviously thinks she isnt the type to be interested in him if he is in a relationship so I very much doubt she will want him when she finds out he lied to her. Something along the lines of "I saw your messages to my partner. I feel I must tell you that we were, until tonight, very much together. At no point have we seperated, he has lived with me and our daughters in our home for the last 5 years. However as a result of his lies, and due to another recent incident, I have now ended the relationship. If you wish to start seeing him then feel free, but I wouldnt recommend it...."

Itsfab · 02/11/2014 20:55

Bloody hell. For being a shit about making you get the bus he should be chucked but with his lying trying to cheat crap then YANBU at all!!

lemisscared · 02/11/2014 21:00

just read your last post about the bus journey - well, he can fuck right off cant he, done you a favour this woman, text her and tell her to buy herself a drink "on you"

hippo123 · 02/11/2014 21:01

I too am shocked over the bus thing! No decent man would do that. The fb thing is also obviously very wrong and unforgivable but I just can't get over him making you get a bus home with 2 children, one who is unwell, whilst he drives home. That is not a normal thing to do. I suspect that type of behaviour is not uncommon for him? You are far better off without him.

lemisscared · 02/11/2014 21:01

I like the idea of the vomit over everything, honestly, what an utter utter cunt - that has to be the vilest thing i have ever read on here. Please do not accept this bastard back into your house. The bus thing would have been game set and match as far as im concerned.

Catnuzzle · 02/11/2014 21:01

Stay strong. He's a complete tosser. You're well rid. Flowers

Ohfourfoxache · 02/11/2014 21:01

Thank fuck you're chucking him out.

Why haven't you dumped him before now? I assume he has always been this caring and charming Hmm

Has the wanker replied yet?

Zamboni · 02/11/2014 21:02

The thing about the bus journey is horrendous, and no you are not overreacting. Will he be difficult about his stuff / try and come in anyway? Do you have support?

LilyPotter · 02/11/2014 21:02

He. Did. WHAT???????? Shock

onerepublic · 02/11/2014 21:03

He was with you in the sofa shop and sent you and the 2 dc to the bus stop while he drove home without you all? While your 5 yo was ill?

no words.

trikken · 02/11/2014 21:07

Poor you and kids. That is so heartless of him.

wanttosqueezeyou · 02/11/2014 21:07

How incredibly upsetting.

For the bus thing alone I would honestly dump him. What a horrible way to treat a poorly child.

Thanks
GoatsDoRoam · 02/11/2014 21:09

Dear God, the bus story is awful. Just awful.

I am so glad you are dumping him. What an utter shit of a human being.

Bogeyface · 02/11/2014 21:10

I suspect that he has had her text and is now on the doorstep arguing with her.

Hope she is ok

MrsJuice · 02/11/2014 21:11

Good grief!
I would join in the FB conversation, saying:
Hi, Twat's other half here!
Surprised to just discover that he is single, but thankfully seems to have found himself a flat.
His stuff is dumped outside of the home we have been sharing, and somebody seems to have urinated on it. Hopefully he has a lovely new washing machine in his lovely new flat, so he can be smelling freshly of lenor when you finally get your hot date.
He is quite a catch - good luck!

CheckpointSnarlee · 02/11/2014 21:12

Wow. Nasty piece of work. Has he texted you back yet?
Well done for being decisive and brave, look after those little ones and throw the waste of space out.

OooOooTheMonkey · 02/11/2014 21:12

What a vile man. You're well rid OP. Hope you're ok Thanks

whyMe2014 · 02/11/2014 21:14

OMG! He let you bring your sick child home on a bus! Tell him to f* off and not darken your door again.

He put his car before your child what kind of man is he? Oh hang - on he sounds exactly like my stbxh who put his beloved Audi before his children. Plus the fact that I'm hanging on to the car for the moment is hurting him like hell but he will not pay for winter coats and shoes for his children.

Put your children first and let him have his single life!

missmash · 02/11/2014 21:17

Great reply Mrsjuice! What a horrible shit of a man he sounds, sounds like you and your DDs will be better off without that scum bag in your lives.
Truly don't know what kind of person would put a car before a child.HmmHmm

NorrisCole · 02/11/2014 21:17

He replied - guess what? His phone was left on the bar and his mates were winding her up. Csn you believe that!!?? Hmm

I haven't replied.

She replied via Facebook saying nothings going on and shes an ex from many years ago. She said I'd be silly to finish with him over a few messages.

I didn't reply Angry

OP posts:
AlpacaYourThings · 02/11/2014 21:18

What utter shit!

Pippin8 · 02/11/2014 21:20

I'd finish with him over the bus trip alone. He obviously doesn't care for you or the dc.