DP touched me when I didn't want him to.

[WestEast]

Don't seem to be able to name change, so fuck it. May be long, don't want to drip feed.

DP worked away Thursday, only saw him for twenty mins or so in the morning, came home Friday evening, saw him for half an hour and he went on a works leaving do.
He came home about half 11, had had a drink but in no way pissed. Tried chatting, as we've not seen each other properly and it was like getting blood from a stone, he was more interested in his pizza.
Went to bed, I sleep naked, him in his pants. I curled up on my right with him behind me, me laid on his right arm, with it round me. He started kissing my neck and feeling my breasts, I said no, he stopped and I drew my knees up to make it even more clear. About 30 seconds passed and he started touching my breasts again, pulling on my nipple, I made a 'nuh-uh' noise as I was shocked he was trying again, I just laid there. He 'rearranged' himself and started pushing himself into my back/bum area.
I laid there not reacting for about a minute and he started laughing to himself. I moved and sat on the edge of the bed, I told him I said no and then he touched me again when it was clear I didn't want touching like that.
He said sorry, I left the room, he's now fast asleep and I'm on the sofa. I can still feel where he was touching me.
Am I over reacting? I feel like he's crossed a massive line, I said no. I'm sat on the sofa shaking and he's happily asleep, knowing that he upset me.

[optimistikcolouristik]

Itstab, I said above I didn't read the thread properly only the original post. Also I said that after reading the rest of her posts I do understand why she feels like that. No, it is not normal if he cannot understand one NO. But I am stronger and would not have taken it that seriously unless it had happened more than once. I would have told him to duck off. That is what I meant that in this way I am stronger. I would have dealt with it without being too much insulted. But I didn't know about OP's past which adds to it. I did apologise so what is your problem?

[BelleateSebastian]

How utterly depressing that 'no' wouldn't be enough. You say you can't imagine a relationship where a partner's touch would make you uncomfortable. Well I can't understand a relationship where you would be forced to say 'fuck off' for your partner to respect your wishes.

Because sometimes a little persistence gets me in the mood and I change my mind - in my relationship with my husband this is fine and luckily I don't find it utterly depressing :)

Viv I read what you said about 'at least 2 other men that made you feel uncomfortable' and hear what you are saying, I had a relationship with someone in my late teens who I wouldn't have 'dare' say no to, I suppose if we had stayed together I could see myself in the position we are talking about.

WestEast I'm sorry I don't mean to upset or offend you, I hope you are ok, sometimes it's easy to forget there is someone worried and upset at the start of the thread.

[basgetti]

Well perhaps you should have recognised that your scenario was indeed specific to your relationship before you started trying to minimise the OP's feelings about hers. 'No means no' really isn't a radically concept and saying your partner 'rightly' carries on when you have said no is a very damaging message to attempt to normalise to others.

[Lweji]

in a loving equal relationship a pissed clumsy attempt at sex shouldn't make her feel this awful - hence my comment there must be something deeper.

The OP clearly said he wasn't pissed. He had had a drink. Not that it should excuse it.
And it wasn't an attempt at sex. It was an attempt at forcing sex. A different thing as well.

Even a drunk partner who behaved like this would worry me, because it still meant that I wasn't safe sleeping next to him in case he was drunk. And because being drunk only shows better what's inside. In this case, someone who feels entitled to their partner's bodies.

I'm glad that some people can't imagine feeling like this when their partner touches them, but that is probably because their partner is way more respectful, even when attempting sex.

[Joe3578]

I think if you've said 'No' then he's definitely crossed a line. Not on. No one is entitles to sex like that.

[AcrossthePond55]

I had to step away from this thread for a bit.

OP, you have the right to set your own boundaries. That is true for all of us. Nothing is 'wrong or 'right' but what feels right to us. Your partner should respect your boundaries, whatever they are.

Re this thread in general; there is nothing to be gained in attacking other posters for what takes place in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Neither is there anything to be gained by saying that there is 'something wrong' with a poster's partner, or worse that they are an abuser or 'rapist'. It's one thing to say that one wouldn't be happy with OP's partner's behaviour in their own relationship. It's another to say he's an abuser and she should LTB.

OP, I wish you well in your talk with your partner to explain to him what your boundaries are, and that he crossed them. If he listens, you won't have a further problem. If he doesn't, then consider counseling.

Peace out, peeps.