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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My brother has gone missing

179 replies

maewest · 03/10/2006 14:12

He went out to work yesterday morning and didn't turn up. My mum got at phone call from them at 10am asking where he was. He's 26 and lives at home, but is v shy and reserved person, def not a 'lad'. He's now been out all night and my parents have called the police. They are both so worried and I feel so far away from them right now .

That's it really...

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 05/10/2006 13:58

could you look in the history on his pc at home or work, or at the cookies, to see if he has been chatting on any online sites and maybe arranged to meet someone?

Original poster
maewest · 05/10/2006 15:53

This is a link to Stevenage Boro FC website here which has photo and number to call with information.

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 05/10/2006 15:59

Oh you are near me. Haven't seen your bro though will keep an eye for him for you.

Original poster
maewest · 05/10/2006 16:04

Thanks , I don't actually live round there anymore, I'm in Bristol.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 05/10/2006 16:05

could they look at cctv to see where he headed when he left home?

Original poster
maewest · 05/10/2006 16:16

Countess - yes, think the police have been looking at cctv from the local station (think this is how they know he was making travel arrangements, but that could be from bank transactions). The officer I spoke to this morning couldn't give me any more details than this as they have to be careful about their sources, and also protect the missing person e.g. if he went because of a row with parents, violence etc. Horrible that they would even think this, but I suppose they have to cover all eventualities.

I was supposed to be hosting my NCT group this pm but we had to postpone, so has felt a bit lonely, called one of my RL friends for a chat as there's only so much conversation you can have with a 2 month old who wants to feed every 2 hrs. Thank goodness for MN

OP posts:
runkid · 05/10/2006 22:06

I know how difficult this must be for you and your family keep positive have you tried getting his picture in the paper.

essbee · 05/10/2006 22:23

Message withdrawn

Original poster
maewest · 06/10/2006 09:35

Thanks essbee, have emailed

OP posts:
SharpAndSpikeyOHara · 06/10/2006 09:37

Hi there, I have been following your thread but haven't known what to say really.. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Original poster
maewest · 06/10/2006 10:51

Thanks O'Hara, just helps to talk to people, makes me feel like I'm not alone. Spoke to my mum this morning, she was quite low yesterday as they were going through my brother's room to see if they could find anything else that might shed light on where he's gone. All we can do now is go on living our lives as 'normal' and hope he gets in touch, as I know that if he doesn't want to be found, he probably won't.

I was reading a thread the other day about whether 3 children made a family 'unbalanced' (as opposed to 1 girl 1 boy), and it made me think that I'm so used to being one of three that with one of us not there it feels really wrong . My mum is planning to come and visit me early next week with my youngest brother, which will be lovely to spend some time with them and they are keen to see DS again

OP posts:
HELLisHeavenis · 06/10/2006 11:04

My heart really goes out to you. I hope you get some news soon.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/10/2006 11:41

Would urge you to stay in touch with the National Missing Persons Helpline. These people do sterling work.

israel · 06/10/2006 12:19

Dear Mw...any news?....as they say...no news is good news.
I am in Oz...but keep checking in to see if there is anything.
My heart goes out to you all...I have been through something similar.....it all ended well....but the trauma of the waiting will live with me forever...I am pleased to hear...you will be trying to get on with your lives....God bless you all.

Original poster
maewest · 06/10/2006 12:34

israel, so glad that it turned out well for you, gives me hope.

attilla - jsut phoned the helpline but they said they can't do anything withoutpolice ref no and my parents have this, think I just wanted someone to tell me it would be ok feel guilty that I have alittle happy baby here and I'm not looking after him because all i can do is worry and cry

OP posts:
Daffydil · 06/10/2006 12:39

It will be Ok.

He is going to turn up.

Original poster
maewest · 06/10/2006 12:49

I know Daff, just feeling sorry for myself. DH will be home soon so will try and go out somewhere this afternoon.

OP posts:
Daffydil · 06/10/2006 13:24

Off to MK this afternoon. I have until midnight to deliver it. Nothing like leaving it to the last minuet eh?

try and do something normal, or as normal as you can get inbtween feeds.

BettyBatShapedSpaghetti · 06/10/2006 13:29

maewest -I couldn't read this without saying anything, although there is nothing that I can say really other than I'm thinking of you and hope you get positive news soon.

mrsmerlot · 06/10/2006 16:03

mw- I havn't been on for a few days, but have been thinking of you, family and ds. I can't imagine what it must be like...But am here for you as are every luvvy mummy on this site..
Hang in there. hopefully brother just in a rut and needs some timeout and will come back when ready.

fairyjay · 06/10/2006 16:26

Just seen this thread. Thinking of your and all of your family - it must be very difficult.

makemineadouble · 06/10/2006 18:28

Hi MW I agree with keeping in touch with missing persons helpline and salvation army have helped my family in past when my older bro went walk abouts they found him in germany! thinking of you all God Bless x

Original poster
maewest · 06/10/2006 20:23

I think I will stop posting on this thread for a while if that's ok, will concentrate on having a good weekend with DH and DS. I have just spoken to my parents and they seem to think that Exeter is most likely, but that if he is staying there and hasn't called by now, that is because he's not ready to talk to them yet, so will just have to give him time, even tho that feels really hard.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive this week, I will of course post if there is any news, just feel like I need not to dwell on this too much now. You don't know me, but have all been so lovely.

maewest xx

OP posts:
Caribbeanqueen · 06/10/2006 20:24

Take care maewest

HELLisHeavenis · 06/10/2006 20:57

Try and have a good weekend with dh and ds.
Take care of yourself.
Hope to hear good news soon.