Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

Sounds good. :)

Maybe you should also get a dartboard and put his face on it.

Sounds even better, Lweji. Just one problem: all his remaining pictures have already been through the shredder.

I'm sure you could pint out a pic of a big fat canetoad and stick that up a representation for Toad, Karen

Yeah, sounds great. And pin up some victories as you go along.
Some of this will sort itself with a small push, so it's good to chalk them up.

If you do get a moment and your local CAB is accessible, then do book an appointment to check you've done all you can and all you need to do.
Get the redundancy issue sorted via Acas and a lump sum should come your way. Laws on that are pretty straight forward.
I wouldn't push Toad for house being sorted until you know where you want to go and what you can afford. A couple more months to work on other issues without moving/house hunting might be useful.

So, I got through to HMRC and they confirmed that I am to send in last years form and have it updated thereafter with my current income. Good. Done.

CMS: I will receive a 'variations' form and I had a much friendlier officer on the phone this morning.

Council: Will drop off missing info later.

ACAS: Will ask about redundancy lump sum. Would help to avoid overdraft charges. Why should I accept for this to be paid in installments? I will see if they will phone him to ask for this.

How many games of solitaire before you got through to HMRC Karen? I got through atleast 8 games when I rang them this morning!

Thanks to this thread I have applied for the warm home discount, but I needed our WTC figure and I couldnt find the award notice #disorganised #Ineedawife

One thing that has annoyed me though, it is called the warm home discount but they dont pay it until March, the weather is warming up by then!

Re:the redundancy payment, he doesnt get to say that he will pay it in installments, it doesnt work like that. You can agree to installments but you dont have to, if he doesnt pay up because he cant afford it then you can apply to have the company wound up if it is a limited co. We claimed H's redundancy through the national insurance fund as the company closed (writing off £18 mill in debt and reopened the next day with ££££££ in investment and new name but thats another story ) Its just another way to control you, to make sure that you dont get a lump sum that might just give you more choices in terms of keeping him away. ACAS were fantastic when H was made redundant with no notice, no pay, no severance, no nothing.

Our parish runs a Christmas Voucher scheme for those on benefits. Might be worth keeping an eye out for similar.

Oh, Bogey I have not played Solitaire in ages. Is it still preinstalled? I waited 25 minutes and this was not too bad. It's always such a surprise, when someone is actually then on the other side of the phone line!

I don't think I can apply for the warm home discount (I am glad that this thread is hopefully useful for others too), because we have no under 5's. I briefly read through it, but it doesn't look as though we qualify.

ACAS have just phoned me back and they think I stand a chance in a tribunal regarding unfair dismissal, but I have three months to consider and if I am now worried that I will have to enforce my redundancy pay I can wait until I have received most of it and they will go after him in February within the three months deadline.

So not bad so far, but it's taken up most of this morning.

It's always such a surprise, when someone is actually then on the other side of the phone line!

YY to this! I was waiting about 20 minutes and jumped when she came on the phone, for a second I had forgotten who I was calling and why :o

The guy I spoke to said to apply anyway, I wasnt sure if we met the income criteria, on the basis that it costs nothing to apply and you might get it.

I think that its a good idea to wait until February, that way at least you have got most of the money. Although if he does withhold any of the redundancy pay after you file then that will definitely go against him at the tribunal, so in a way I hope he does! Obviously thats not good for you financially in the short term but long term it would be a bonus.

When will the ass hole learn that just because he doesnt like the rules, he cant just ignore them?! Never has the phrase "more money than sense" been more apt.

WTF Toad does not want to commit to child maintenance and yet he pompously declares that the children are going to be better off in the UK?

Well, as for now, I am on benefits, Toad is not contributing and even in the unlikely event that I will be on unemployment benefits in Germany, I will be receiving five times as much as over here, so he can get lost, the pompous arse that he is.

Toad is the not the only man in history to decide he 'doesn't want to commit to CMS'. Sadly this is a common story. He's another deadbeat dad, for all his pompous arrogant posturing. He can go fuck himself.

^ what she said

Yes but at least he is so thick, he puts in writing. Giving all Karen more proof for the as to how unreasonable he is.

Yep, he is now reneging on his own proposal before I have even considered it not that I would.

That is why there is a state regulated CM service. Because some twats don't want to support their own children.

I'm not sure there is actually anything now that you need to hear from him or discuss with him.

I'd probably just send him a message with your bank account details and the amount he should pay in CM. Refer it to the CSA/CMO as you have his emails saying he doesn't pay (or not enough) and liaise with them only.

Nooooooo

Don't even email him at all ever about anything!

He is now nothing but a sperm donar.

I did this last week, Lweji. It was just laughable that he sent another proposal through with a lot of big figures and an equal amount of small print putting conditions on these big figures. not actually laughing though.

On another note, DD is enjoying a luxurious bath thanks to a lovely gift of Lush goodies from Secret Santa.

I am not discussing, just reading with

Jacuzzi.

See, that is why you shouldn't be reading anything. Not on a daily basis. The more you stay away, the less stressed you become. At this stage does it matter what he says?

It helps that he is gloating about the false information that he feeds the CMS, so I am more aware of what he is up to. Unfortunately.

So he actually puts in writing, to you the claimant, the fact that he is giving wrong info to the CMS?!

Forget running his own business, how can someone that thick manage to get out of bed without hurting himself?!

Ok, I get where you are coming from.
I used to feed exH a bit to let him sink more and more in the quick sand pit he still likes to dive into.
It made pages and pages for the DV case.

Jolly useful that he's plaiting his own rope, and tying his own noose. Does it need reading every day, or would once a week do? He's still putting it all down in writing.

Some people are just such idiots; and yet, there he is, lording it up to his employees, living in a hotel, buying £600 specs. It beggars belief that he is so unbelievably arrogant that he writes it all down and still argues about CMS.

I remember being so utterly shocked and horrified at his behaviour when you first started posting, Karen. I see he is still exactly the same. That is what will hang him, though, so let's be thankful that he is that arrogant and stupid.

It's shit for you meanwhile, Karen. Your fortitude in the midst of it all is truly awe-inspiring.