Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

Karen, you sound like you've stepped out of a dark room!

Or am I just stepping into one?

But no.

On the other hand, how can he take these massive dividends, if the business is running at a loss?

Out.
Worst case scenario you'd have to fend for yourself and your children, but that must surely be better than dealing with Toad.
If necessary just walk away. Don't fight more than you need to because he will always be the loser because he's The Toad.
You and your children have each other, which is the most important.

Or is the business at a loss because he's taking dividends?

No. He is taking dividends, because he only has to pay 20% tax on dividends as opposed to income tax on his salary. This seems to be the second year he is doing this.

Dividends are considered in CM.
He needs to be VERY careful as, if he is trading knowing he doesn't have capital to cover his debts (which I doubt very much, even if that's what the books show), he's trading fraudulently.
He'll trip himself up eventually with all of this financial flim-flammery. Sit back and watch.

Are you sure, minefuseless?

I am just having this massive meltdown sitting in the kitchen sobbing.

I am so exhausted.

mineofuseless you have saved my weekend.

I don't suppose there's any financial paperwork left inadvertently in the house?

Companies House.

Always insightful.

Take care, Karen.

Hugs

Sometimes the sobbing is a good thing - it shows you are very human.

You really having nothing to loose by no longer reading his emails and letting the CMS and courts deal with everything.

All we can do is handhold but we are here for you x

Insolvency Act 1986.
Knowing about dividends comes from own experience.

No, I can't do this, Random. The CMS can only act on the information they have. I have to provide them with the correct documentation and kick up a fuss.

Still feeling rubbish this morning, but I have two children and they cannot live on fresh air and rainwater. I am unlikely to go back to a well paid corporate job, not where we currently live.

The DCs both have come down with a temperature and colds and coughs; I am probably getting worn down by everything, but I must not just give into things.

We still have our home, he is still out.

Off to fill out more forms that have arrived in the mail yesterday, to apply for tax credits and copying further forms for the council.

Last week went really well, considering circumstances, at least I got the ball rolling.

I need to get my applications to the court in before Christmas. One way or the other. With a lot of luck I will get representation.

Huge hugs, I really feel for you that you don't have any RL support in all of this.

One day at time, step by step.

I would be having huge wobbly tears nearly every day in your situation. What you are facing is huge.

I don't think Random meant that you shouldn't send the CM people the info, I think she meant that you can just hand over responsibility to the authorities once you've given them the info. You just pass it on, then it is up to them. You don't need to discuss anything with him directly or really even worry about how he takes it. His response is up to him.

Or maybe I'm putting words in your mouth, Random.

I so wish I could just leave the court and CMS to deal with matters, but with Toad's ongoing shenanigans I have to keep a close eye on things, unfortunately. Or may be I just had this very incompetent case worker on the phone yesterday to whom I had to spell out everything.

I am angry that the CMS need so many prompts.

'In December the settlement must be agreed, if not proceedings will be issued, its up to you to decide which
route you prefer – but decide you must.'

I only read the last sentence or two in this email received today. He is bonkers. Is he now taking me to court for settlement? Ahem, I am the one who is asking for money, not him. What a pompous arse.

I am currently praying that SHB is accepting my case.

This is why so many mothers end up with these crappy assessments. Because the CMS is not at all motivated to kick these fathers' arses.

My mother assumes that unemployment support is the same as it is in Germany i.e. 90% or so of your salary for I think six months and then it goes down a bit. I cannot bring myself to tell her that it's only £70 odd per week.

Why, Karen?

It really does look like you would be a helluva lot better off - all round, not just financially - if you did move somewhere else smaller, cheaper, cheaper to run, and without all those ghastly memories and fears associated with the house you're in. Is there somewhere near nough the children's schools, but with a better job market?

Jux at least we have a roof over our heads. How can I move out now? I cannot even afford to rent anywhere. He pays my redundancy in installments. I have not received it yet. The first installment is due at the end of this month.

At the moment we don't pay anything for our housing. It can't get any cheaper than that. Toad has withdrawn the offer to fund our housing, if we move out.

I don't get this child tax credit application. I have just filled out this form that only asked about my income in the tax year 2013/2014. According to this form, I get no tax credits. Not surprising, because I was in full time employment and over the limit. But what does this have to do with my current unemployment and why do I not get any child tax credits in this tax year, because I had an income in the previous tax year?

Any experts around, please?

Are we supposed to live on £70 per week until I find work?

Karen I believe he owes you redundancy payment in one go, with your last pay packet. You might want to talk to CAB or ACAS. Not sure what you can do about it though, any legal action would probably take as long as the repayments to come through. You may be able to add interest though.