I happened up on mumsnet a few months ago, and it is as if scales have been removed from my eyes. I have been an OW
for over a decade, and I must say, i don't think I've spared much thought for the partner of the person I've been seeing. Such is it, having read the many posts about the pain others have suffered as a result of actions like mine, I feel so ashamed and frankly disgusted at myself.
Before, I never saw or heard the realities of it, so it never really played on my mind. The one thing that was clear, was that he wasn't leaving his partner and I knew I couldn't live with him on a full time basis anyway. When it all started I was 20, and it just seemed to continue. He had his life, I had mine. Though I was never physically with anyone other man, I went on dinner dates, movies, parties and had a close circle of friends and family. Some who knew about him and others who didn't.
Fast forward all these years later and I'm now bored as hell with him, compounded by the fact I'm now feeling guilt and shame. I started detaching just over a year ago, but it is all soooo damn complicated. Within that time he's lost a child, been in an accident, among soooo many other things. Too many to disclose here.
I don't expect sympathy, and I expect I'll be near enough burnt at the stake, but I need help please.
I accept I have done wrong, but wanted to be as honest as possible in my post. I've already limited contact as much as is possible, given our situation. Have done so for the past 2 months. I just need advice on maintaining this, and not buckling.